He wants the benefits of a relationship but doesn’t want a girlfriend?
So I’ve been dating this guy since about May. I have fallen for him so hard, its a little scary. I recently had a dream that prompted me to ask what it was that he wanted. A relationship, friendship, or what? He proceeds to tell me that he is not looking for a relationship. He doesn’t want to have to worry about anyone right now or have to deal with the responsibilities of a relationship. Meanwhile this whole time I have met his Mother Father Sister Brother Grandma Grandpa Aunt Uncle Cousin Best Friend and business associates, spent whole or half of my days with him, drove countless miles to see me or to see him. All of this was leading me to believe that I was someone special to him and that he was potentially thinking of being in a relationship with me.
His explanation of it was that he always intended on us being friends, but he fell hard for me and began to like me a lot. He didn’t intend on it getting that far but he feels like getting in a relationship with anyone would distract him from his grind because he would be slacking on his business matters etc. Like he did in his previous relationships because he focused on keeping the relationship functional and didn’t give that much attention to other matters. I told him I feel like he just doesn’t like me like that, and he told me I was reading too much into it and its not that he does like me a lot, he just feels the need to concentrate on business matters so that he can get things together to have the time for a relationship. Be it with me or with anyone else. I don’t know how I should feel about this.
Should I go with it as we were carrying on before I found out how he felt, I don’t really have time for a relationship either but I care for him a lot and I enjoy his company, and the way he always has my back and ACTS as though we are together. or should I just abandon it totally and let him get his stuff together and potentially get in a relationship with me in the future. Although when I think of it, a relationship isn’t really my goal at the moment, the thought of being exclusively with him has grown on me and now that I know it won’t happen anytime soon, I’m hurt…HELP!
I’m just not sure what’s really going on. Guys please give me the business about this…
Tags: being friends, best friend, business associates, business matters, countless miles, cousin, friendship, girlfriend, grandma, grandpa, mother father, relationship, relationships, sister brother, whole time, worry
ok since you really are not looking for a relationship at this time either just go with what you have. you seem to be happy and you think he is also. so why ruin it? as time goes on maybe both of you will want more and if not you are both free to leave. but if this is the attitude then you will have to remember no strings. remind him of this also. tell him look since all you want is this fine but if a better offer comes along you may just take it
Well neither of you are looking for a relationship so what’s the problem then? Just stick to his friendship and eventually when both of y’all are ready then that’s when you guys can maybe get into a relationship
If I were you I would be friends with benefits withhim.
This isn’t going to be what you want to hear, but I have to be honest with you. This sounds almost identical to my situation, and I’m going to guarantee you he is seeing/sleeping with other women. If this does not bother you in anyway and you are sure you don’t desire an exclusive relationship right now, than by all means, stick it out with your friendship. But understand that’s all it is.
I’ve been in my “situation” a year and a half and he said the EXACT same thing about not wanting a relationship, wanting to get his life together and focus on that first so that he has something to offer a relationship. I fell for it. Until I had a girl send me messages on Facebook detailing that they’ve also had a relationship the past year and a half as well. Like you, I’ve met EVERYONE in his life. His mother even calls me family and tells me how much she loves me. We ACT exactly like a Couple in EVERY single way. I was devastated and shocked to find out he was seeing someone else. Of course, he said I am his preference and she was just a “past time”, but only an idiot would believe he didn’t tell her the same exact thing about me. He told me he loved me for the first time a few weeks ago and couldn’t be without me (as I’ve tried Countless times to leave him b/c I found out there were MORE women!). He said he wanted to try a committed relationship with me. Guess how long that lasted? 2 WEEKS. He said it didn’t feel “right”, and now wants to try an open relationship. I asked him if he feels that he needs to see other women SO BAD, why not just LET ME GO! He says because he feels I’m perfect for him and who he wants to spend his life with, BUT he wants to make sure I’m the best choice by exercising his options. Ummm WTF??????
My point in telling my story is just to give you (and anyone else reading) a warning of what’s to come if you expect anything more than what he’s giving you. NOTHING will come of it. You will be months and years in and have nothing to show for it but empty promises and heartache. Trust me. You, my friend, are dealing with an emotionally unavailable man and they are the most Selfish people you will ever run across. Everything is on their terms and as long as you accept it, they’ll NEVER change (not for you).
Just enjoy each company, if it is true, it waits.
Rich@Second Chance Letter´s last [type] ..YouTube answers your questions about “YouTube Worldwide” next topic is advertising
Just enjoy each other’s friendship, if it is true, it waits.
Rich@Second Chance Letter´s last [type] ..YouTube answers your questions about “YouTube Worldwide” next topic is advertising
I am like wow!!! I am in a relationship now and he comes to my home, occupying my time, eating my food and making me believe he wants to be with me! But he is not ready for a relationship???? He tells me how his last girlfriend cheated on him (3 years ago might I add!!!) and how he is not ready to be in anything right now…oh but he is into me and is grateful for all I do for him!!!I had a scare that I might be pregnant and he simply started behaving distant and real cold. The sex even changed up, he would get right up afterwards and leave me lying there! I felt so cheap and disconnected from him as he gets dressed to leave. Today is my Bday and no call either…I am so hurt and confused to why? I have decided to let it go and not be bothered anymore and pray the results in the next two weeks are negative!How could I have not been more careful with my choice????????