How can I get my boyfriend’s love and attention again?
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little more than a year and a half. We have lived together for the last 10 months. We are both 23.
Lately it seems that my boyfriend doesn’t enjoy spending time with me. He works all day and then comes home and just wants to play games on his computer. On the weekends he wants to spend the majority of his time on the computer as well, but will take me to see a movie and out to dinner. But even this seems like he is just punching a time clock so he can get back to "doing his own thing." If we do spend time together during the week it is usually while watching TV and he gets so zoned out that I might as well not even be there. When I talk he pays attention for awhile but seems to quickly get bored. For example, I was talking to him in a parking lot and the next thing I know he is starring at a van pulling out of a space and totally ignoring me.
My boyfriend used to be really attentive and act like I was the most important thing in his life, but now he seems to do the minimum and gets more excited about video games and even hanging out with his sister than being with me. He used to talk about our future but now he doesn’t at all and when I bring it up he seems to have no interest. He says he only misses me "sometimes" or "a little bit."
He says he still loves me but it doesn’t ring true in his actions. I think he loves me but it seems like he isn’t IN love with me. The only time he seems to show any real excitement about our relationship these days is when sexual intimacy is involved. I’m trying to give him space and even suggested we take a break but he said he doesn’t want to lose me. I’m so confused.
What should I do?
Tags: 10 months, Clock, excitement, little bit, love, parking lot, Play Games, relationship, sexual intimacy, spending time, time clock, video games, watching tv
give him time. and talk to him about it! tell him how it bothers you and see what he says. if he doesnt come thru just take a break and act like hes acting and he’ll know how it feels and he’ll miss you
strip n have sex
Wow, it’s funny it’s sounds like we are in the exact same boat! I don’t know if we’re just growing apart or what? I used to be at the top of his priorities and now it feels as if he’s only doing just barely enough to keep our relationship afloat.
I know he’s busy with other things like his job and friends, but that was never a problem before! All this didn’t bother me at first, but after awhile it started to worry me. I approached him about it and explained how I felt. Things got better for maybe a week tops before slipping back into the way things had been before. I tryed not to let it get to me again, but not to my surprise it did. I brought it to his attention again and he was pretty sincere when he told me how much he loved me, how much I meant to him, and that he didn’t want to lose me. I know that he still loves me, just maybe not as much?
We used to be so close for the longest time and then all of a sudden things changed, just out of the blue. I care for his family like my own. I was pretty close with most all of his friends as well, so I was surprised when
I went out with him one day to find that he had a new group of close friends. It wouldn’t have bothered me that much either if he had just simply introduced me to his friends like he normally would, but he didn’t! He’d put his arm around and hold my hand, but that doesn’t change the fact that he basically ignored me.
Things were never like that before he always wanted me to be close with all of his close friends and I was always a part of everthing before but now it’s like I’m being tuned out. I’ve never been the jealous type, but now I feel jealous!
I feel like he puts everything else before me now, and not doing anything about it even after I tell him how it upsets me. He throws me aside, but yet not completely? I don’t understand this. He is still sweet and loving somtimes, but things changed I guess.
drop him while you still can. don’t settle for someone who doesn’t have enough respect for you to give you his full attention, especially when you are talking to him. you will be sorry a few years down the line. he has lost interest and it will get worse.
Hellooo .
So yeah I had the same problem as well.
But I’ve come to realize that alllll boyfriends end up changing after time.
they spend the beginning of the relationship attempting to grab you and make you fall in love with them. Once you have, they sorta.. stop. Stop smothering and such. WHAT THEY DONT REALIZE is that girls have different feelings than them, and NEED to feel like they’re being loved. Like come on. It’s not like we’re selfish or anything… we just need to know that our man will always be there for us and will always put us first. Some guys, however, get so comfortable with their girlfriends and get so used to them that they don’t think they need to “prove” their love anymore. I dunno. Something must be messing up their heads. I think you, as hard as it might be, should give him less and less attention and see what he does. That’s what I did. My boyfriend would do anything in his power to try to see me or talk to me. And it has DEFIANTLY toned down a LOT. So, i just called him less and didn’t ask to hang out as much etc.. and he started to finally give me some attention again. He told me that he thought I was loosing interest and was thinking about breaking up with him. SO, do this, if your lover doesn’t do anything, then why should he deserve your attention if he can’t even give you any of his? There’s many more fish in the sea.
the biggest thing is that i love him so much and he knows that.He very well know this that i won’t leave him in any condition.
I tell you from starting.when first meet him,i found him a man with lot of ego and attitude. I just not liked him at that time.He is friend of my friends.At that time he had a rigid and sarcastic nature who used to make fun of others.I just dislike these things.
With time we became friend,we had small fights then we again became friend.He used to like me as a good human being as i had totally opposite nature than him.Somewhere i felt that he is good from heart but his conditioning may be faulty that is why he may be rough and fanatic from upper.I used to be very good and polite with him.
Slowly he started liking me but he did not tell me about that.I used to get small little rumours from our common friends that he had feelings for me.With time he became very nice person to me,he changed himself totally.He was very caring and loving.he just became a very good human beind like he idealises me.I also started loving him but he did not knew that.
In january of this year we both mange to accept our feelings in front of each other.I was very very happy at that time and he was also.I am the first one in his life.My lover used to be very attentive and act like i was the most important thing in his life,but know he seems to do the minimum.I used to say” u n i is one”.But now he forgot all our love.When i try to remind him these romantic talks,he just ignores me.He says he still loves me but it doesn’t ring true in his actions. I think he loves me but it seems like he isn’t in love with me.I am totally confused.Now when i talk to him on his changes towards me,he just get angry.
I love him so much.I don’t want to leave him even if he treat me like an animal,i promised him i will be there with him through out my life and i defintly don’t want to break my promise.
PLEASE help me how do i get his love again and his attention.
the biggest thing is that i love him so much and he knows that.He very well know this that i won\’t leave him in any condition.
I tell you from starting.when first meet him,i found him a man with lot of ego and attitude. I just not liked him at that time.He is friend of my friends.At that time he had a rigid and sarcastic nature who used to make fun of others.I just dislike these things.
With time we became friend,we had small fights then we again became friend.He used to like me as a good human being as i had totally opposite nature than him.Somewhere i felt that he is good from heart but his conditioning may be faulty that is why he may be rough and fanatic from upper.I used to be very good and polite with him.
Slowly he started liking me but he did not tell me about that.I used to get small little rumours from our common friends that he had feelings for me.With time he became very nice person to me,he changed himself totally.He was very caring and loving.he just became a very good human beind like he idealises me.I also started loving him but he did not knew that.
In january of this year we both mange to accept our feelings in front of each other.I was very very happy at that time and he was also.I am the first one in his life.My lover used to be very attentive and act like i was the most important thing in his life,but know he seems to do the minimum.I used to say\" u n i is one\".But now he forgot all our love.When i try to remind him these romantic talks,he just ignores me.He says he still loves me but it doesn’t ring true in his actions. I think he loves me but it seems like he isn’t in love with me.I am totally confused.Now when i talk to him on his changes towards me,he just get angry.
I love him so much.I don\’t want to leave him even if he treat me like an animal,i promised him i will be there with him through out my life and i defintly don\’t want to break my promise.
PLEASE help me how do i get his love again and his attention.
I have a similar situation. After nearly three years of being together, and a year of that spent living together I’ve noticed we haven’t been having as much sex or that it isn’t interesting anymore. Rarely he is in ‘the mood’ and if I’m not in the mood to have sex right when he is then my chance is over for a few days (no kidding, wait until one minute later? might as well find the rabbit) He’s always online and if the internet fails (as it often does here) he’s freaking out and is immediately on the phone with someone about it to fix it.
However, when I try to confront him about this he always resorts to ‘this is me, you knew that, you’re trying to change who I am’.
It’s annoying
He’s sometimes really sweet though, and generally a good guy, so it’s confusing. I love him to death but I think eventually it’s going to end. These small differences now and then absolutely never wanting to get married or even consider the possibility of children later on. I’m not sure if I want to continue being a ‘girlfriend for life’.
Same here I’ve been having the same problem. I’ve gatten to the point where I just wanna give it all up. I know he loves me but he doesn’t show it anymore. Seems like he doesn’t care!… Anyway we had a fight couple days ago and I kind of told him that I’m done with him and I’ve been ignoring him since then, but I haven’t seen any reaction from him and it hurts very much but if he won’t talk to me of show that he misses me or that he cares I’m gonna have to move on. Good luck to us all
hey i thought dis is hapening to me only..i feel much better after reading all these comments..i wl try few things-send lesser texts,take up a new hobby,go out more wid my frns..either i will get his attention back or will grow as a person..keeping my fingers crossed..n may all goes well wd all of us