Comments on: My Ex Wife has Bipolar and Borderline personality. How can I get her to take me back?

By: DEREK E

DEREK E — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:54:42 +0000

I wish that I could tell you something soothing, but the reality of the matter is that you may be better off without her. Bipolar disorder is bad enough for most people to deal with but the presence of Boderline Personality Disorder is more than most can handle. I have worked in adult psych for over 15 years, and I know what I am talking about.
This may seem callous of me to say but my opinion is to make a healthy space between you and your ex. You can be supportive of her and help her cope with her mental illness, but be prepared for the roller coaster ride you will have to face. It also sounds as if you may need to set firm boundaries for her as well as yourself. Especially since Borderlines can be very manipulative; even to the point of self destructive behavior, to get what they want.
Use the space to build yourself up and take time for yourself. Use it to really get to know yourself and possibly realise some of your own dreams.
If you are hopelessly, helplessly in love you will probably take this response as an insult. Don’t…. Truth be told I hope you get your dream. Unfortunately and very likely your dream will quickly turn into a nightmare. Especially if her mental illness gets out of control…

By: bailie28

bailie28 — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:54:42 +0000

she needs to help herself..the fight between you and her father arnt going to help her do that…i suggest counseling for the three of you…but you really shouldnt push her into something she may not want

By: Hopeful

Hopeful — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:54:42 +0000

I am sorry you are going through this very painful period. I understand your hurt and you wanting the relationship back but just because the relationship has ended and she has these diagnosis does not mean that, that is why she chooses not to be with you. I am in no way trying to be harsh, just realistic. It may be her personal decision right now and if it is you could climb the highest mountain and the result would be the same. Perhaps, she needs some time but what ever the situation at hand may be you need go on with your life and see where things will lead. We never know what can happen. I understand because I am going through a divorce myself right now. I wish you the best~
Edit: A very good book that I recommend and it is written by a couple that have both been divorced but are now happily married to each other is It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken. It has helped me tremendously and is a good read.

By: Meng

Meng — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:54:42 +0000

It sounds like you suffer from Masochism Disorder (okay, I made that one up). Seriously though, she’s got major issues, and I think you should talk to a psych before deciding you want her back in the first place. You might be codependent on her. If you go through counseling and still want her back, then you should ask her to go to couples counseling with you. In my experience couples counseling can be very useful, but she has to agree to go and work together with you on it. If she won’t it’s over, sorry.