How can I get my wife/spouse to trust and love me again?
December 27th, 2009 by admin | Filed in Save My Marriage
I am in this relationship for 5 years now, and we have one child together and one (hers) from a different relationship. Over the years I have had anger problems, closed off, depressed, judgmental, etc. I have had a rough childhood, and now in the clear to make changes for myself. and the relationship. But my spouse/wife is saying she loves me but not in love with me. She says my anger/judgmental behavior makes it hard for her to express and tell me things because I used to angry or upset at anything she said.
I know I made mistakes to make this and is working on myself 100%. How can I make her see that I want this change and to fall back in love again???
HELP! THANKS
Tags: anger, Fall 98, love, Love Help, relationship, rough childhood
I think that’s something you’ll have to earn with time. You have to show her how you’ve changed, and that it’s ok to talk to you. But you can’t get mad if she doesn’t right away– it could take a while. You just need to keep reinforcing your new attitude and encouraging her.
My fiance’s mom lies or keeps so many things from her husband. (Fiance’s stepfather). I used to really object, since I really believe in honesty and communication in a relationship. I always knew that he had had bipolar disorder, but I guess I never put 2 and 2 together and realized that was the problem. I’m really close to my fiance’s mom, and she was talking to me about it one day and I finally understood why she was constantly lying and keeping things from her husband– although years have passed since he was bipolar (he’s successfully medicated) she’s still "used" to hiding things because of how he USED to react. It’s not that shes scared anymore, but it’s just kind of habit.
But anyway, I just think it’s important to keep encouraging and showing her you’re safe to talk to– you’re working on yourself. I hope it doesn’t take long for her to trust you, Good luck!
Sounds like you pushed her away.
Actions speak louder than words so SHOW her that you really want to make this work. Ask her if she wants to go to couples counseling with you and set it up. If not, go on your own. Send her flowers. Take her out on a date. Really express to her tha tyou know you’ve done wrong, APOLOGIZE, say you are sorry and tell her you love her and will never take her for granted and will change how you react to things angrily from now on.
Show her how you will change.
Good luck!
well first off, you can’t force anyone to fall in love with you. BUT, make her realize why she fell in love with you in the first place. Do anything and everything to show her that you’ve changed for the better, and that you want to work things out…hopefully she’ll realize it and come around. good luck!
Only time. If you have truly changed, only time will tell.
Im not married myself but i know how she feels, i had problems with my boyfriend but he told me he would change (I didnt believe him) and he did, he has changed, so what im saying is show her you can and will change for her, just give her time to see it
I would love to say "let you actions say everything for you.She’ll see the change in you, it just takes time."But sadly I don’t believe that myself.Once the trust is gone,you will not get it bad.In the bad of her mind she’s just waiting for the next breach of trust.try to be content with things as they are,don’t spend you life trying to make up for the actions in the past you can’t change.you can only direct you actions now so strive to better yourself.good luck!
Give her time i am not talking about a couple of weeks, real time. Men get over things much quicker than women. And kiss ass all the time, not just one day and expect everything to be peachy.
If you really mean it??? Couples’ counseling
well you can take her out to eat and tell her that you love her all the time and and make love to her when it time. and listen to and let her tell you how she feels and when the time comes. she will back in love with you give her some roses and her happy run her bath for her and cook for her.
good for you, work on your self at least you want to change,what about a quiet day or night alone together and express your love for her,try a love note first.then see what happens, her favorite songs,drinks,music,etc .best of luck.
lol CHANGE. Listen to whats shes saying and do it!
you will have to be patient with her it will take time for her to trust you again have her go with you to therapy so you both can talk things out while your both in a safe place
I just finished reading the Love Dare book. My husband and I are about to celebrate our 5th anniversary and a lot of the troubles we’ve been having were my fault. I was tired of making excuses and waiting for him to change. I took responsibility and decided this was the way to go. It is a great book! There are some dares that are odd or feel awkward but it is a great journey of self-discovery. I know that just sounded like a cheesy cliche book review, but it’s true! I think this is what you’re looking for.
Actually you have to show her that you are serious & it’s gonna take some time. She didn’t fall out of love overnight. Go above & beyond to make her happy, do things you wouldn’t ordinary do, make her feel special. The next time you want to get anger/judgmental take a moment to think is this worth it. You can argue all day about bullsh*t so pick your arguments alot aren’t worth arguing over.
Good Luck! Remember make her feel number 1 in your life, send her flowers, actually write her a poem, take her out to dinner or somewhere special she likes, babysit for her & let her go out with some friends.