I’m so in love with this one girl that I’ve posted about before, my parents have ruined everything and even though she says she cares it just seems like shes being totally insensitive to my feelings. we talked today and she said i had my chance and i ruined it and i hate myself for it. i love this girl more than anything and i cant stand the thought of her being with her husband, I’m so afraid he’s going to hurt her, she thinks we should stop talking because my parents found out we were still talking and threatened to tell her husband she was having an affair…she doesn’t want to lose what she has but at the same time when i tell her how i feel all she can say is "I’m sorry" or "deal with it", i want her husband to know so bad so he will leave her but i don’t have the heart to tell him because it would hurt her. This pain is indescribable, its actual physical pain and i cant deal with it. It just doesn’t seem fair that i can’t have her when i have a gut feeling like she’s the one I’m supposed to be with. I can’t take this pain much longer, it’s just too intense, i feel like I’m going to go through the rest of my life with these feelings that i can do nothing about…i love her more than life itself, this is killing me, i just don’t wanna deal with the pain anymore. how do i get over this pain? i cant talk to her anymore, or be her friend, its just not right, it isn’t fair….somebody please help me….she claims she still cares and loves me but just doesn’t want to be with me, she wants to be with her husband, i feel like this is going to kill me….the what if factor in this situation absolutely sucks….

Tags: cares, emotional pain, feelings, gut feeling, having an affair, heart, love, parents, Physical Pain, rest of my life