When a relationship is over, Why is sex the first thing to go?
December 29th, 2009 by admin | Filed in Getting Over An Ex
when a relationship is over, why is sex the first thing to? Me and my spouse is still together after 13 years. We’ve had some issues but we’ve being trying to work through them. It’s been over a year since we’ve had sex. Is it too late for us, if not how can we bring our sexual life back. I need to know. I miss him so much but he seems so distant. please let me know.
Tags: 100 Sex, 13 years, relationship, Sex 101, sexual life
I believe the reason that sex seems to be the first thing to go is because when you are in disagreement with someone you really are in no mood to be intimate with the person. So days turn into weeks and then months and in your case a year. You have to feel connected to someone to continue to have sex with them or you will feel like it is a chore and it will stop then to. But most of the time, which people are not aware of, the first thing to go is really the communication. It just seems the sex goes first because you miss that when you have to go to sleep with this person and the two of you are not connecting in an intimate way anymore. But I believe that you first stop listening and then you stop talking because no one is listening and then you are pushing further and further away from each other and the sex just stops. To get that back you have to be able to talk and listen to each other and find out why you stop listening and talking to each other in the first place. The sex will return once the communication starts back.
A year so where are yall getting it from. He is getting it from someone else and you are just like a room mate. sorry but that is probably it.
hhhmmm….thought we answered this.
The best you can do is to try to be open, try new things, and explore new territory that you two may have repressed with each other. Maybe sex goes first because it’s so deeply intimite…being afraid to open up is an easy thing to understand – nobody wants to anyone to judge their sexual desires and needs. I wish I had all the answers…being married for 21 years provides about 100 boring moments for every one exciting, at best.
I once tried to get it back, it never worked. We had too many other things between us. But when I look back, we never had a good sex life. With my new husband in the one year we have been together we have made love more times than my ex husband and I did in the last 8 years we were married. Try with wearing something sexy, it is a good start.
I don’t know what your problems are, but sometimes things can make you lose respect for each other. And no one wants to have sex with someone they can’t respect.
This happened to me. My husband didn’t have a job for SIX years, in spite of everything I did to help him find (and keep) one. I lost all respect for him because he didn’t care enough about me to help support our marriage financially. I lost all interest in sex with him.
If you two are working on your problems, eventually you’ll grow to love and respect each other again, and then the physical part of your relationship will develop naturally as well.
If your sex live was good before? but none now he has to have a girl on the side and he is with you for other things than love you should ask him straight out if he thinks you are sexy if so why don’t he want to make love any more .Sorry to say but I think it is to late
duh…because the sex is gone. You’re going to have to talk about it and realize it’s importance and work together to bring the spice back.