My bf and i have been together off/on for nearly 4 years. I say off/on because we’ve done the distance thing for a fair amount of time and in those times considered ourselves to be on a break (knowing, however, that we were both still fully committed). I moved to be with him back in june, after having spent 6 months apart. When i got back things were initially great, until i found out that hed let me down on a promise hed made. So that nite we were out with his friends, and I got very drunk, and at some point told him that i fancied his best mate (which i dont…i think i must have said it because i was angry with him for letting me down and knew that it would hurt him). I’m not proud of this, and I’ve felt awful about it every day since. It doesnt help, however, that every time we’ve had even the smallest argument since, he throws it back in my face. Also, since all this happened we’ve not actually been together ‘officially’, and hes been messing me around saying hes not sure he wants to be with me, and he cant forgive me; but then at the same time hes always telling me he loves me, and talking about our future. I dont get it!!! Most recently we had an argument about me being jealous over his ex, which i admit i am somewhat, but isnt that fair? The other nite when we were out, she was there, looking amazing as always, and i felt a pain of jealousy and went quiet. my bf called me on it and got angry with me for it. Things totally blew up, and again he threw all my past mistakes in my face and told me this was the last straw. Hes currently not talking to me and as far as i can tell, is actually thinking about ending things for real…any thoughts/advice would be appreciated.