How to deal with breakup?
Any good ideas how to deal with a 10 year relationship breakup ??.. I caught a lady at his apartment even thought he said they were just talking .. He told me we were going to work on us and try to get back together and that he wasn’t seeing or talking to anyone.. Well he is I know for sure now he knows I know …but he still wants to think about coming back here says he loves me I love him I am a mess I miss him and he was here helping me raise my 4 year old grand daughter and she misses him… He says he misses us… I am not sure what to do… if he comes back he will see this person at work everyday… what would you do ??? we are not kids we are in our 40s.. not married I was a widow when I got with him… this is only my second relationship he has been married twice and many relationships.. He says he is afraid I will not trust him again… He has been talking to this lady for a long time 7 months or more told he he talks to NO one at work even when he moved out told me that…And said we would see no one while trying to work on us… This lady was at his apartment the very night he moved in… And he gets mad when I say it is more then just friends..
Tags: 40s, 7 months, apartment, grand daughter, How To Deal With Breakup, just friends, long time, Relationship Breakup, relationships
Honestly, he doesn’t sound like a good guy. Your age has nothing to do with you finding a good, honest guy and finding love that will last. My mother went through a lot, and I mean A LOT of jerks until she finally at the age of 50 re-married and they’re still together. He is wonderful to her. I wouldn’t settle. You shouldn’t settle for anything less than what you deserve, and I can tell you right now you don’t deserve a man lying to you about another woman – under any circumstances!
1 rule to remember: Men lie allll the time.
He cant go to work and not talk to her. unless you want him to lie to u about it. You have 2 options. stay with him and just let this incident go or dump him. But if u stay with him then you cannot bring this incident up every time y’all get in a argument. it has to be in the past. and you will have to trust him. if you can not do that then i advise you to call it quits. its easier said then done but you will make yourself sick with worry if you stay with him and constantly accuse him or bring it back up.
Go party with friends and have fun. Enjoy being single.
sorry but you deserve better, if the guy cannot commit to you then drop him. there are loads of folks men and women who can be your friend, but only one can be your partner/lover.
Get out join clubs, meet other people, take it slow particularly when introducing them to your family.
He is trying to turn the blame onto you saying that he is scared you wont trust him, but he hasn’t acted in a way that you could trust him – there is no harm in having other female friends but he has to be honest about it, same if you have other male friends.
Remember much as it is painful you have went through worse in your lfie and recovered.
good luck and remember you (and your family ) are number 1..
i would have to wonder if i were u if this affair wasn’t going on longer than u know, right under your nose. if he missed u enough he would not be gone. he knows u know and he has probably done this before to others who mistrusted him after he betrayed them, so he knows what to expect later if he does come back, because once someone loses trust its never the same. he also lied to u about not talking to anyone. i would say he has done this same thing to others in the past, and i would have to think its more than just friends with her. and 10 yrs is a long time to be with a man and not be married to them. when a man cheats its always with someone at work, and its usually due to someone else making themselves available to them. if i were u i would face reality, and know if he really wanted to be there with u he would be.
It depends on what your tolerance is for a man who says he loves you,,and then lies to you repeatedly.. If you can be with someone who deceives you and you know you can’t trust,,well then,,take him back..It shouldn’t be hard to understand that this man likes the ability to move and do whatever he wishes..Otherwise,,you and he would have married by now..Unless YOU have problems with marriage..Your arrangements with each other is exactly what suits his needs and personality..You know,,YOU should be enough for him to remain true,,if he REALLY loved you .. Its enough for you to love him isn’t it..You stated your amounts of relationships,,and you are satisfied !! Aren’t you? That’s why you have to say,,why isn’t HE ?? Your relationship from his side is ”Convenience"!! And really what did you think he was going to say when you ”caught them in his apartment??He’s no fool !! And neither should you be.. You can still remain friends,,and tell him that.. Its just,,you expected and didn’t get what a lady such as yourself is entitled to..Your worth much more than crumbs from his table.. YOU are the quality part of this relationship..Its a shame he doesn’t realize that !! So don’t allow him to use a decent person such as yourself..Ask yourself this,,how would your deceased husband feel about this individual if he were here seeing this happen?? Do you understand now why he has been thru two marriages,,and countless affairs ?? Keep you self respect,,and keep this man at an arms length from you !! I do wish you well !! SCOTTY