Mending a broken heart the Christian way?
Hello everyone,
I just ended a one year relationship with the man I thought I would settle down and spend my entire life with. I was ready to continue on my walk with God with him and we prayed together often about our lives together.
Now things are different, I am feeling really alone and having a hard time geting over the pain of ending our relationship and all my hopes, dreams and aspirations of our life together.
I have been praying a lot and hoping that God will help my heart heal and to let God into my life..
for those who can relate, please I am looking for some advice about how to feel better and to find some peace of mind..I would appreciate some kind suggestions.
How to I get ready to live my life again?
thank you all
I just want to say thank you so very much to the many of you who have commented thus far, you are amazing and so thoughtful 
* Clara
Tags: aspirations, god, hard time, heart, hello everyone, hopes dreams, kind suggestions, Mending A Broken Heart, peace, peace of mind, relationship, walk with god
That very same thing happened to me some time back, sweet girl. I know how hard it is! Especially when you PRAYED with this man. That’s the most intimate that 2 people can possibly be! I think even more than sex!
All I can tell you is to draw as close to God as you can and stay connected to Him and to your Christian brothers and sisters. God knows you’re hurting and He wants you to have the perfect mate. Just trust Him and give it some time.
God bless you!
there’s no such thing as god.
that’s why all your prayer didn’t help. you were just talking to yourself.
prayer…and MORE prayer
good church attendence
spend sometime doing things you like to do
reading your bible
talking with your parents and siblings
and most of all….time
The truth is that the Bible makes how to go to heaven clear and easy. The only way to be saved and go to heaven and not the eternal lake of fire is by believing in this life that Jesus, who is God, died for our sins on the cross and rose again (1 Corinthians 15:1-4). Believe this and you are saved!
I have found Jesus to heal every wound in my heart, and bless me beyond anything I could have thought of!
i guess you can pray about it and just see what happens. good luck.
By remebering this truth:
Romans 8:35-39 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."[a] 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Talk to your friends. If they know God, they will be of a geat help!
Spend more time with your friends and family. Take the time to talk to God more, let yourself be spiritual, God will help you through. Maybe get a pet, God Bless and good luck, hope you feel better!!
I will pray for you and you should pray too.
go to the spa with some girlfriends
volunteer
write in a journal about it
splurge and spend an entire paycheck on stuff at a nice mall
take a vacation
go to a club and dance all night
Give it a little time. A broken heart takes some time to mend. You will feel better after a while and you willfind someone else to build a life with. Here are some words that have helped me throughout my life in times of stress and difficulty. They bring me great peace and comfort.
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
All things work together for good for those who love God.
Basically you must trust that he’s got something better for you down the road… I know it’s easier said than done (been where you are) but resting in his plan for your life is the best answer here. Pray for the comfort of Jesus’s loving arms when you are feeling lonely, he does do this for you.
Believe in the grander plan for your life. God Bless you.
keep praying! there is no quick way to heal pain like that. focus on strengthing frienships with both guys and girls.
Let god be your strength and in time you will feel better also helping other people helps you when you are feeling down. I’ll pary for you! hugs.
Ecclesiastes
"What is twisted cannot be made straight, what is laccking cannot be made whole"
"Everything is meaningless! like grasping for the wind, Vanit of vanities!"
Use this as a learning and growing experience.
Go for long walks in the woods and trails. Think about the good qualities you want in a mate. Think about the qualities you do not want in a mate. Set your mind to achieving what you want. Circulate and attend classes that support your interests. Make yourself a better person, and love yourself so that another may love you too.
Time heals all wounds.
DO NOT LISTEN TO KELLY god is real if he wasn’t then how would we all be alive now would a human fall from the sky and mate with itself and create animals and other humans like that?
Time and prayer. Then more prayer. We all try and get our lives together and fail at doing so. We cannot manage alone in our walk and in bad times we have to let Jesus carry us. Give it to Him, he knows what you’re going through.He’s been there too. Peace
When I’ve been let down by yet another "Christian" man I usually finish off any remaining thoughts of the relationship with a good old fashioned well-written, properly-punctuated hate letter emphasizing his weakest points and small penis, a crying jag, and a two-day drunk with a total stranger in a seedy hotel room. Then you get up, get dressed, go get some breakfast, and get on with your life by walkin’ outside and putting your sunglasses on and saying, "Next!"
What you are going through most likely is the pain of separation from the presence of someone who brought comfort and hope into your life. That’s only natural. It takes time for you to make the mental and emotional adjustment and it isn’t like someone can give you a "quick fix" so that tomorrow your life can resume right where it was before you got into that relationship.
At least with humans that is not possible, but with God all things are possible. First confess any misgivings or anything else that you know is not God’s will for you to hold on to in your inner thought life. Perhaps confess that you erred by putting this relationship above your relationship with the Lord or at least subconsciously in competition with your relationship with Jesus and ask Him to renew your faith and trust and joy and hope for the future in Him.
Last of all consider that there is a season for everything and that if this relationship was not "of the Lord" then He has really saved you from a life time of regret that would have been your lot after getting married only to find out that you two were not really made for each other but now had committed to sharing the rest of your lives together.
Keep on praying and get a copy of "Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives" and read it from cover to cover before you consider another relationship.
Take a break from relationships for at least 6 months between relationships and re-connect with yourself through prayer.
Take long walks in nature – in safe places – so you can hear God’s voice in its purest form.
Do the things for yourself that you might have been doing for your former beloved. Nuture yourself and be yourself.
Being yourself is the best gift you can give yourself and the best gift you can give to others.
Also read Gary Zukav’s book, "The Seat of the Soul." It will awaken your heart and soul and will help you move toward true spiritual authenticity.
Good luck and God Bless You.
God can heal your heart, but only after you have removed the "knife". You need to remove the artifacts of your relationship – take letters, keepsakes, photos that comemorate your relationship and place them in a box and bury it or burn it – your choice depending on what is safe to do in your neighborhood. Say a few words of fairwell and then buy a new set of sheets and throw out the foods you bought because he liked them and clear him completely from your space. Repaint your place if you can – at least the spaces you spent time with him. Rearrange the furniture and clean thoroughly. Prepare your space as you would your heart – for someone else but right now, for you. Meditate and pray about who you are now and how you have changed from the person you were before the relationship. Get to know and embrace the new you. Learn a new language or start a new hobby – join a club. God brings us change so we can grow – the new skin is brought to light when the scab is removed. You need to prepare yourself for healing and for change by starting it yourself and by letting go of your past relationship – it is natural to feel longing, but you need to move on and see what is next in God’s plan for you.
you need to look from the scientifical view of what love is. love is an addiction. you feel emptiness cause that man made you happy. the reason why you were happy is cause the chemicals were releasing in your body and thats why you were happy. now you feel emptiness and you need professional help to be treated. dont listen to religions, they wont help. there are many professional people who would help you. science helps by solving the problem, while religions will make you to believe in things and then you will be convinced that you are "healed".
My wife left me in a most violent way…. she took her own life.
And alone….oh my the loss…the loneliness …the devastation was almost more than I could handle… and the pain.. was horrendous…. even felt like I didn’t want to live….
It takes time…pain doesn’t go away quickly… but know that the pain WILL go away…
Its just like a serious wound… first the pain.. and then getting stitches… still hurts…. but after a few days… better… but oh my don’t bump the wound… soon the stitches are out. .. and you can see the wound. But after a few weeks you still have the scare…and perhaps… remembering just a little of how it hurt.
Its been 7 years almost 8… I remember… and some days I still feel the pain…. but now life is good…
Lay down all of your dysfunctional beliefs and follow the path of Forgive Affirmed Spirit, a spirit that Jesus was in at times in his life when he was a healer 2000 years ago. Do not follow all of Jesus from that time!
Permission given in John 14 12 … to deviate from the earthly worship of all actions by Jesus at that time.
Healing be unto you and yours and me and mine
In Forgive Affirmed Spirit
~skahhh
the truth is that there is no easy way through the pain.
the good news is that the lord gives us a wonderful book to study from, in times of distress as well as good times.
romans 5:1-5
romans 8:26-28
psalms34:17-19
keep your eye on the lord,and he will be faithful always!
Hi dear, my best advise is go to the church daily and pry. ask god to give you the strength start a new life.
get closer to your family,
join an association. you’ll find a good path!
Use your emotional suffering to seek spiritual enlightenment; outside the normal box which is your minds present limitations.
Seems detached rather than kind; but being detached from a prison is liberation. With liberation comes an end to suffering.
Sweetie my daughter just went Thur the same thing and she hurt for a while,then got mad,then began to start her life anew
she has met the love of her life now and has told me God
must have been looking out for her,because the other
one was not her true love,,stand tall you will find him
and hold to God he will see you Thur,
This forum may interest you…
http://christianforums.com/f47-womens-discussion.html
Hi Paix,
I can certainly relate to your situation. I went through a similar thing some years back with the woman I thought was to be my Proverbs 31 wife. It was the most ecstatic time of my life, and when it ended I was devastated.
Sounds like you are on the right track, by continuing to seek God. I had a time of being out of fellowship, which did nothing to ease my pain. Wallowing in self-pity didn’t help!
Time does heal, and God is always with you. He doesn’t make mistakes…we do. I still don’t fully understand why my relationship ended the way it did. Maybe I never will in this life, but I am determined to move on. It still hurts when I think back to those times, but I am encouraged by Jer 29:11.
There is no easy answer to your question, but I hope just knowing you’re not the only one to go through this may be some encouragement. Hang in there!
Blessings from Downunder.
There need be no shame in experiencing a failed relationship, so long as you acted honorably.
In any case, forgive your ex and yourself, and then get on with your life, as best you can. It will take some time to get over it. Probably about as much time as it took to get into it.
And there must have been a reason things didn’t turn out.
Try to figure out exactly what went wrong, and why. And don’t blame anyone. It will only make you bitter, and forgiveness makes all that unnecessary.
In the mean time, try to decide exactly what you are looking for in a mate, develop a new plan, then work that plan, trying your best to avoid making the same mistake(s) in the future.
There’s plenty of time, and there’s lots of interesting people to meet.
God loves you.
God will provide.
Relax, and enjoy life!
Replace your ex fiance with GOD and make HIM your FIRST LOVE. (After all, God is IN LOVE with you.)
GOD is a jealous God and he wants to be FIRST in your life…not second or third.
Exodus 20:5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
Also, if you put GOD FIRST then GOD will supply ALL your needs.
Phillipians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Also…here is another good scripture:
Psalms 34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
If you’re a child of GOD and God sees you are hurting…then HE’S hurting.
But maybe GOD has another plan for your life instead of being with your fiance? Maybe there’s something GOD is trying to get you to see?
PS – If you feel as if I am bashing with with scripture, I apologize as that’s not my intention. I’m just trying to get you to look UP.
That happened to me about 33 years ago. The lady I married is very different and we bring out the best in each other. At the time it was a very painful experience but what I learned from that has helped me for many years. I learned to love people more and not expect anything in return. Looking back now I am glad for what happened but at the time it was very painful.
Think about the pain Jesus received when people rejected him and crucified him.
Proverbs 13:12, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree of life."
You had your hope in a future together dashed.
Jesus trusted people but he never put his trust in them.
It sounds like perhaps God answered your prayers but just not in the way you had hoped.
You’ve gotten some really good answers and really good support so far, and I’m glad. When I read your question, my first thought was well what was it that broke you up. I guess we don’t really have to know that though. For you I think it would make it easier to analyze what went wrong and what you need to do differently next time. Since we don’t know what it is, we can’t help you with that. I agree with those who have said to use the time being thankful God spared you what was obviously not the best for you. It hurts now, but think how deliriously happy you’ll be when you do meet your real true soul mate and you are available for him. The fact that you prayed together with this ex means God knew he was not right for you: you did all the right things and God allowed the relationship to end. Accept it as a blessing in disguise. God is watching out for your future. Then think about the qualities you really want in a man, and start the search from the stance of knowing what you want. Poor analogy I know, but it’s like shopping for a car; if you know what you want, no salesman can sell you just anything….lilke I said, I know it’s a poor analogy. It’s all I could think of …Be kind to yourself, be gentle with yourself, just as you’d be if this happened to a dear friend of yours. Give yourself time to grieve the loss and then pick yourself up and start all over. Forgive yourself and the man–remember, God did not bless this man for you, and move on. You have to go through the pain, but you do not have to linger in it. Trust in God: you can start right now by saying, "Thank you," to Him. God bless you dear, and good luck.