Did I ruin my chances already? I want to get back with my ex.?
About 5 weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me because he couldn’t take the cycle of us fighting each other every week. I couldn’t too, but I was the type to never give up. I was so shocked and emotionally out of control. A week after that, (I know this was a big booboo since I wasn’t emotionally ready yet and I was just afraid he’d start to "forget" me) we met up and I gave him a letter containing my apology, an explanation, the fact that I’m still willing to make it work between us, and asked for another chance. We could try it his way, without rushing the relationship like I did. He gave me a reply a whole week after saying that we were just too different, specifically on how we viewed love and relationships, and he just doesn’t think we’re both what each other wanted – at least at this point in our lives. We just weren’t emotionally equipped to handle each other and it’s unfair if we jump back into another relationship if we’re not ready. He says we both need a lot of growing up to do. "It’s better the way things are now." He said sorry, but that’s what he truly believed.
I replied three days after, thanking him for everything and agreeing with the breakup. I did sincerely mean it. But I’m afraid I made the letter sound as if it was a "goodbye forever" letter. It’s going to be 3 weeks since we haven’t corresponded and in that time, I’ve learned to calm down and evaluate everything again. I came to realize my faults and his. And I’m making a conscious effort to adjust my bad habits too. I think I’m getting to the "anger" part, after which, I know I should start forgiving. I’m giving myself 2 more weeks to settle my emotions down but I’m pretty confident, I’ll be good to go by then.
I’m planning on trying to contact him again, when I’m ready. But I’m a bit apprehensive because I’m not exactly sure what he meant when he said "at least at this point of our lives." Is 1 month too soon for him? How much more time do you think he needs? Also, how do I start approaching him?
Tags: anger, Apology, bad habits, big booboo, Booboo, conscious effort, emotions, Faults, love, relationship, relationships, reply
Planning to get your ex back this soon won’t do you any good. It seems that you didn’t give him enough time to think things through when you gave your "apology letter". He too is hurting from your break-up and you have to keep in mind that calling him or meeting with him anytime soon will just scare him away. Look at these simple steps first before doing anything you might regret in the end.
Don’t Be Aggressive
Give your ex boyfriend enough time to think things through. He also suffered and calling him right away will only make him remember the pain even more. Usually, 2 weeks to a month is enough cooling of for partners who just went through a bad break-up but since in your case you immediately made contact give it another week or so. Trust me, its better to talk when you both really accepted the pain.
Listen and Admit Your Mistakes
When you talk to him again, apologize sincerely and never do the blame game. You also have to listen to what he says and accept what he says even if it hurts you. Remember, you both did something wrong that caused your relationship and admitting it is one way to deal with the problem.
Get Rid of Your Bad Habits
Nobody is perfect. So, before you get your man back, try to change your old ways that caused your relationship a problem. For example, if you result to nagging him during your fights then try controlling that. You can also make use of this time to pamper yourself. Have a haircut, learn to apply make-up or have a shopping spree to change your wardrobe.
Just ponder on this thought, if you really are meant to be together, destiny will find its way. If you want to find out if you really have the chance to get your ex back or if you’re doing the right thing, check out this link http://www.myloverback.com