My wife wont make love to me for no reason why?

I am a very sexual person I love making love to my wife it puts my mind at ease and takes me to a place in which me and her are the most important things on eachothers minds. We have only had sex twice in 4 weeks for no reason and when I ask her about it she says she just doesnt want to. It makes me feel like she just isnt atracted to me any more i ask her if its me and she says no. I am very romantic I cook her breakfast in bed and give her massages for no reason I am so confused. How can I show her that this really upsets me. I try to talk to her about it and when I am done I think she cares but then we go through it again the next night. It feels like I have been reduced to begging for sex. I know she isnt cheating on me so i just dont understand. Any tips to get her in the mood would be very helpful. She has no sex drive she has said "sex just isnt important to me" but it is very important to me. We never have sex twice in a day or two days in a row. What to get her in the mood????

  1. Brooke, 13 March, 2010

    Sex is very important in a relationship and it is a rejection to have your spouse not want to make love with you. So I can totally understand how you are feeling.
    Is she taking any antidepressant meds? That can take away sex drive.
    Counseling might help. You need to keep telling her how you feel about it, and emphasize that making love helps you feel connected to her on an emotional level and not just a physical level. She doesn’t want to be viewed as a piece of meat.

  2. grassispink718, 13 March, 2010

    Be romantic. the most annoying thing about a guy is that all they think about all the time is SEX! Give her some space, and she will respect it.

  3. michelle, 13 March, 2010

    sounds as she’s getting D!ck from some other sourse better look into that!!!

  4. Leilanie G, 13 March, 2010

    Tell her you respect her wishes. Just continue to be the guy you are. Continue being romantic, and she’ll come around.

  5. Allison Christine, 13 March, 2010

    Maybe you are boring her. Try some toys and/or new positions!

  6. love bomb, 13 March, 2010

    You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken s**t.

  7. ~~Marge~~, 13 March, 2010

    try a hearbal mood enhancer tea. like this link….if she likes tea but just talk to her in privite. Tell her you need sex!

  8. paula t., 13 March, 2010

    maybe she doesn’t feel sexy, a woman needs to feel sexy to want sex. let her know you don’t just want sex, you want to make love with her because she is the sexiest woman to you.

  9. carly, 13 March, 2010

    There could be many reasons, but there are really few people who just don’t like sex. You don’t mention her age, which should have no impact whatsoever unless she is menopausal. What other factors could be involved. Is she in an unsatisfactory job? Are the kids wearing her down? Have you or she gained weight or let yourself go in some way? Have your lives become so routine that she really is just bored with the whole scenario? Maybe it’s time for a weekend getaway.

  10. werewolfhooker, 13 March, 2010

    Look, you are doing all the right things. You asked her what she needed. You told her what you needed. How this is making you feel is not important to her? If it is important to you, then it should be.
    She is unhappy with her, her life, or something outside of you. She needs to be honest, be open and tell you what is going on. Is she stressed? Tired? Are you guys getting away and still best friends? Do you do anything together and have fun?
    You guys have to close the gap. She has to decide to get in the game–that she wants this marriage and her best friend back.
    There is more to this than sex. Figuring out what that is and what to do about it is the key.

    You are a nice, loving guy. Don’t change. This is less about sex than her being unhappy outside of the bedroom. I hope the two of you come up with a solution and wish you the best. How sad.

  11. paradiseagain07, 13 March, 2010

    maybe the relationship is not meeting your needs anymore… it needs to balance out for both of you… personally, i would take her to counseling and check if that works… or perhaps she needs to see a doctor just to be sure nothing physiologically is going on… and after these options, if things still don’t work…. i would have a mature and diplomatic discussion with her and suggest a divorce and do it amicably…

  12. karen i, 13 March, 2010

    You have a problem; go to a marriage therapist.

  13. mikeat723, 13 March, 2010

    Well Tim, that is a complex problem. Assuming that nothing is wrong with her medically then she might have a lot of undue stress in her life that keeps her from wanting to have sex with you. Talk to her and see if you can find out her fantasies and try to make them a reality for her…as long as they are safe.

    You seem to be doing the right things with massage and cooking and taking care of her needs. The thing that troubles me is that you seem to be making it a strong point with her that she is not putting out enough for you. Maybe you need to relax and give her some room. Constantly being asked for sex would not be a turn on if you are already not in the mood. Give her some space and maybe she will come around. You could always take things in hand for awhile untill she is ready. When she is I am sure it will be worth the wait.

    Good luck and good fantasies

  14. TheThinker, 13 March, 2010

    Go back and read your question again. IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU. Have you looked at your love making techniques? It could be that you aren’t thinking of anything but you own gratification. You know, "wiggle-wiggle-I-just-tickled, oops ‘scuse me." Women don’t like that.

    Otherwise, you can’t be sure someone else isn’t tasting your puddin’ unless you’re guarding it 24/7.

  15. Tropical, 13 March, 2010

    Get her some Viagra for women. I have heard there is medication for women as well. Tell her to go see the doctor so he can give her something to boast her libido up. I have told my husband to take Viagra but he refuses.

  16. Keeping It Real…, 13 March, 2010

    There is clearly a problem with your wife. When a woman acts like that and her man cheats, she shouldn’t even get mad at him. When the bible says that the wife/husband is suppose to take care of home, meaning sexually, then that is how it’s suppose to be. That is not fair to you. If everything is true and you didn’t leave anything out, she has no right to act like that. I bet she’ll get in the mood if you tell her you’re going some where else. Don’t do that though. She is messing up big time. If she isn’t ill or you’re not be abusive towards her, she has no right to act like that. Pray and ask God to help your relationship.

  17. Bryan M, 13 March, 2010

    It’s not uncommon for people to lose their sex drive or for it to diminish. It can be hormones, also if she doesn’t feel sexy or pretty, she may not feel interested in sex.

  18. angie, 13 March, 2010

    try make your wife especial bring her to a place that is romantic it can really help… treat her like its your honeymoon, that way she’ll give in to what you want…

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