cheating on my wife, what can i do to save marriage?
i am a 25 year old with a 4 year old son and a baby on the way. my wife found out i was cheating on her when she looked through my text message history. i confessed to having an affair. i was never a great husband in the first place , could never seem to make wife happy and when things seemed to be starting to be going better she found out i was texting hundreds of messages a day for the past few months. my wife is pregnant with our second child that we were both looking forward to. i want to do what ever i possibly can to salvage our marriage but i dint know what to do to make it work because she is heart broken and will not forgive me for what i’ve done. she doesn’t believe that i love her. how can i prove to her that love her and make her take me back.
Tags: baby on the way, Cheating Wife, having an affair, heart, marriage, message history, Pregnant, salvage, second child, text message, texting
have you tried being faithful to her you @$$hole. Evidently not bc a hundred texts a day doesn’t exactly show that you are trying to please anyone but yourself….. I have a question…
Why would a man post a message asking for advise on how to save a marriage when he got caught mid affair by texting another woman a hundred times a day? Isn’t it obvious what he should do?
STOP CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE YOU DUMB F*CK!!! THAT SEEMS LIKE A GREAT START.
You cant, you have betrayed her in the worst possible way.
Maybe if you suggest (and follow through with it) counselling for your issues then she may be prepared to give you a chance but I highly doubt it
BTW, i meant counselling for you, and you alone to deal with YOUR issues. then maybe marriage counselling if she is prepared to give you a chance
You need help! talk to her not us!!
Stop cheating and show TRUE remorse over it. Don’t make excuses for what you did there is no excuse only reasons. You need to let her go through your phone daily hourly let her do what ever it takes like go through your things so she has a tangible knowledge that your really willing to be faithful. You can’t make her take you back.
Word of advice tho. Don’t even bother trying if your just gonna cheat on her again. If you truly love her then you wouldn’t want to keep hurting her with your infidelity.
grow up would be a good start. go talk to priest or good christian counselor. Show a change in yourself. Find a good Church, show that you love her. Spend time with her let her know where you are
1) you need to think about you and what you REALLY want.
2) then you need to consider the wife and her needs, the kids and their needs, etc…and figure out what is best, second best, etc
Can you be faithful or will you always be bored and lacking?
Do some soul searching and then talk to the wife.
P.S. I’m not trying to judge you, hon. OK?
Everyone messes up. Glad you got an early wake up call. It is your life. Figure out what you want to do and what will be the best for everyone. Good luck…
I don’t condone messing around either…however it is not my place to jump all over someone I do not know. What is done is done.
But you really need to figure out your interests and hobbies. Seriously…a job, a wife, two kids, and trying to fit in time for yourself is tough.
To get on her good side you might recognize she needs time to have her own hobbies and interests….maybe you could
babysit" and allow her some time.
It is not where you been that counts, hon, it is where you are headed.
Also remember she is highly emo now..and after the birth…rub her back, etc and be nice.
You are a fool. How could you do such a thing to an unborn child and a 4 year old? It’s always the kids that suffer from the likes of selfish adults who bring them into the world then **** all over them. You can’t have your cake and eat it.
This is the toughest question in the world. Right now it probably feels like so much damage has been done that the relationship is beyond repair. I know this because I’ve been through it myself. I was not successful at repairing my marriage and the result is that I have such horrible trust issues I have been unable to maintain a successful relationship since. All that I can say is there are tons of books on what to do when a partner cheats, how to rebuild trust and how to communicate better with your spouse. If you can’t afford to buy them you can check them out at the library. Probably the best thing to do in this situation though is get professional marriage counseling. Again, if you can’t afford a psychologist you can check with any Christian church–they usually have marital counselors who will see you free of charge. Your relationship can get better, but it will take a lot of effort on both parts. I have heard about a lot of people who went through infidelity and their marriages actually came out stronger in the end. Best of luck to you both.
Why would she want to take you back. You cheated on her. You betrayed her trust in you. If you were my husband I’d leave you in a second. You cannot love someone you cheat on. Love means your loyal, honest, and trustworthy. You messed it all up. You don’t deserve her.
I think you know most of what has been said here. So let’s move forward.
Firstly, you need to sit quietly and work out if you REALLY want to make it work. No REALLY make it work, long term, not just till things seem to be better. Do you think you can not cheat again?
If so, how about telling her that you are truly sorry for what you have done and would like to "rule off the page and start a new page". Promise her you will be the person she married, if that person was a decent person.
If you can’t say it, write it in a nice note and give it/leave it for her. Do it on nice paper. Go and buy something special – you are trying to mimic what a woman would do in similar circumstances.
Tell her you don’t expect forgiveness straight away, but that you will earn her forgiveness and trust. Tell her you know it will take a while. An idea would be to get the e-book at http://bringbackthespark.com and follow what it says. You need something to keep you on track. I think it is only about $35.
Give her time to trust you again – it WILL take time. Help her with preparation for the baby. If there are classes to go to, go to them. Do whatever it takes. DON’T expect sex any time soon. Sex to a woman is not just physical. You did this – it will "cost" you. Good luck.
MEN….
UGH..
ALL YOU CAN DO, IS KEEP TALKING TO HER..KEEP APOLOGIZING..
THATS ALL…
even though she is not going to believe you..just keep doing it..
and dont buy a gift…thats cheesy..
just talk talk talk..oh..and LISTEN TO HER..LET HER VENT…EXPRESS HER FEELINGS…and just agree with her…let her know u agree that it was wrong…you were a dumb @ss for cheating….
thats all you can do buddy, and hope she doesnt leave you and taker everything you own.
Go get counselling for urself, find out why u cheat and what u can do to stop urself from cheating in the future. Tell her you want to improve urself. Promise everyone that you will not do it again. Please ensure that is true til the day you die.
In the first place, why did you do it??? She’s pregnatn with YOUR child, not as if she’s pregnant with some random guy’s child!
It’s her right to be heartbroken and do whatever she wants to you. Afterall you thought u had the right to cheat didnt u???
Get some help for her, counselling or jsut be a pillar of support for her. She needs a place to vent adn be real angry and all that… It’s either you be that or you leave. I’m serious. I know coz I’ve been cheated on when I was pregnant and it sucks big time adn it’s now 6 mths on since the day I found out and it still hurts so much.
And my hsuband isn’t helping by getting angry when I vent.
i think that to really show that u really love her, i think do the necessary things. such as counselling(i think it helps both party, u n ur wife), show more interest in her life(sincerely, not faking and acting), listen to her when she talks(not only hear, but listen carefully and give ur attention to her), show remorse(u really have to be remorseful in the first place).
i seriously think that going counselling helps alot. and please be sure not to do it again. cos if she gave u a chance, doesnt mean that she will be there again if u break her heart again.
we got limits, surely ur wife has them too. so please if u think u want the marriage, work on it. if u think u are not sure, please take time to think and look into urself if u want the marriage.
its hard work. but if u want the end product to be good, u got to work on it.
i think everything is possible.
The reason why it’s impossible for you to prove to your wife that you love her is because you have already proven to her that you in fact don’t. If you loved her, you would have never cheated on her. Sorry, loser, actions speak louder than words.
There is only one who can save yor marriage and can keep it intact. You children deserve to have a father and your wife deserves to have a Godly husband. Don’t give up on them! I also have marriage problems. I have tried everything under the sun to save my marriage, nothing worked, it just kept getting worse. One night i found rejoiceministries.org, and my life changed. I gave my life back to God. I stopped trying to do everything my way and started trying to do everything according to God’s word. Since then God has started answering prayer after prayer. I know now thet there is nothing God can’t do. He has saved my marriage and I am on the path to restoration. Let him save yours! rejoiceministries.org
First you have to accept it and waht ever changes she wants do it im not gonna be like some people on here cuz i did the same thing an working hard hard on it find good christian advice and put GOD first in your life he will make all things better. You have to be sincere though and first you have to ask GOD for forgiveness first an for most before you go to your wife for it.
It may be hard but after saying sincere sorry change your number an everything give her access to your phone an STOP beating yourself up start slow an do things you thing she will enjoy, It will be a struggle but if she is worth it work hard take verbal abuse t ocertain degree.
For all the bitter women on here callin this person all kinds of names take a step back an look at yourself if your single you wonder why……