Okay, so I’ve been off and on with this guy for 4 years. We didnt become "intimate" till this past year. He was my first, having sex I feel may have left me less attached and I feel as if he became more attached. He wanted to hang out practically every night after that. I go to college full time and I had 2 jobs. On top of that I am a very socialable person and have a great handful of friends. Well I started giving excuses as to why I couldnt hang out, all were truthful but we ended up not hanging out for a month. I believe during that time he started hanging with a girl he had a thing with before me. He spent Valentines day with her instead of me. That was the only day I had free that week, I didnt even care that it was valentines day but we got into a fight the night before and he told me he had to work. We "broke up" about 3 times that following week, but then I quit my one job and now have all this free time. We hung out one night, did have sex and then the next day I see on facebook that he’s in a relationship with her. He still asked me to hang out a couple of times but I said no just b/c I was unsure of the situation until a week later, he texted me asking me how many guys i’ve been with. I said just him and he told me that he doesnt want to cheat on her. But he feels like he maybe would, only with me. I told him that he should probably try not to cheat on her and i told him he can talk to me anytime he wants and i told him to take care. It’s just it doesnt feel real, we’ve been "unofficially" together for 4 years and even with all the off and ons i knew he was always there. And I stopped spending time with him for a month and he gets a girlfriend. Also another thing is I didnt want to be in an official relationship at the time. We had all the perks of a normal boyfriend girlfriend relationship, we just didnt have the titles. I didnt realize how much i liked him till he got into a relationship. He’d always agrue with me about how he wanted to be my first option but I always ignored that and thought my jobs, school, family, and friends should come first. And I know now if I would interrupt his newly found relationship he’d give it up to be with me but I am a very kind person and i know this other girl likes him and i know he does like her too. I’m trying to get over this, for him. But it’s honestly the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I want to pick up my phone and text him when I’m drunk. I want to call him when I’m lonely, when I see he’s online I want to im him/ facebook chat with him. We tried being done so many times, but we always ran back to eachother. Another person is involved now and I dont know if i feel right running back this time.
I just dont know what to do?
The last week I’ve tried hanging with other guys that are interested in me but it made me realize I just want the guy I’ve been with. I dont feel attracted to these other guys and it might just be b/c I’m not over him or maybe it’s b/c he was my first and I’m not sure if I feel right moving on THAT much just yet,
Any advice/ thoughts?
i quit my job, b/c i wanted to start spending more time with him. And I realize I should of spent more time with him now but at the time we would talk every day on the phone, we’d text like a million times a day. He would never let me sleep at his house so I’d just go home and go to sleep. (I didnt get off work till midnight most of the time).
I did and still do truly care about him.
I also think he’s going to try and contact me. When I first found out about him and his new girlfriend I just ignored him. But after a while that was too hard to do. I hate saying no to him and I miss him a lot but I dont want to get in between things. I did have my chance and I was too dumb and caught up in my own life to think about his. I like him so much still and everytime I try to get over him we end up talking again.
he didnt even tell me he had a girlfriend, I had to ask him about it when he imed me one day. are his intentions all wrong? or did he just get into a complicated situation? should i just end it with the last conversation we had? should i ignore him if he tries talking to me? should i delete his number, facebook profile, sn? should i tell him how i feel? should i have a relationship with him while hes with her? should i tell him to break up with her? should i just forget about all of this?
I want to do the right thing, but i’m unsure of what that is.
i’m a true believer in the saying "eventually everything will work out on its own" but i’m overfilled with emotions and thoughts. any advice would be sincerely appreciated.
the one thing i dont want to do is be the other girl. but i feel like with the way both of us still feel that may end up being a possibilty. i party a lot and if i were to call him and tell him that i wanted to see him i know he would.
why is it so hard to just simply be done?
DARN EMOTIONS!

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Tags: boyfriend girlfriend, facebook, firs, free time, full time, handful of friends, having sex, job, jobs, relationship, socialable person, spending time