? about trying to save marriage?? ?
we were having trouble-mostly financial-husband started never being home to spend time with the family-told him we need to get a div if your never wanting to b around–he said no no no he didnt want that=things were better for a few months but i was angry about things still , then about the time when i was beginning to believe he was wanting to stay married- he started having an affair but stil wudnt lev the house kept saying he wanted his marriage, there was confrontation div papers signed and he was gone for a month moved in with the girl he cheated with. then asked to come back home he loves me so much=so he moved back in and told the other girl it was over-now hes acting distant says hes mainly worried about money-but also says he loves me but hes not in love with me like when we first met. he says he wants to stay married but doesnt see how it can work. everyone says kick him to the curb –im not so in love with him that i think i cant ever be with anyone else-but i do want my marriage to work i want our family back, any insight here??
Tags: confrontation, div, having an affair, insight, love, marriage, money
I’m sorry about all the trouble you’re having, but nothing is impossible, and you can work things out. I just recently saw a website with excellent advice for a situation like this:
http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-savemymarriage
I hope everything works out for you.
Yikes.
I hate to say it, but it sounds like he doesn’t really want to save the marriage and be with you. It is not worth it, and not beneficial to anyone, to stay in the marriage for the sake of the children. They will see how unhappy you two are and it will be very hard for them.
I recommend you end the marriage and start to make a new life with your kids.
Good luck!
to the curb
Marriage counseling and a financial adviser. If the counseling doesn’t help, then its time for a divorce!
Like all relationships it’s complicated & has many facets.Go to counseling together so you can sort through the issues & see if the marriage can be saved.BOL
Sounds like you guys just let pressure get the best of you. How can it not? But you need to go into each new day knowing that you’re there for each other first. When you have financial trouble, instead of arguing, try working together to find a solution. Tell him that Married Love is very far from the Dating Lust that you guys had when you first started dating. Of course it’s more fun to have that Just Dating feeling that you have with someone, but tell him that can never last forever.
I don’t think that you should kick him to the curb…I think that you both need to work together to make things work. Find out what things he would like to see in your relationship and see if you can give that to him. Tell him the main things that you want and see if he can do those for you as well.
Good luck!
been there, sounds like he could possibly still have contact with "her"
causing him to be confused
if he wants it to work he has to break all communication and attend counsiling together
Went through a similar time with my ex-wife. The operative word there being ex. I know it’s a tough time for you, but in my case, i decided better to be single and looking than disrespected with my head in the sand.
It’s up to you though, perhaps you’re not in a situation to get a job or make a decent income and can tolerate his affairs, but it sounds like you’re done.
Do youself a huge favor….if you decide to divorce…do it nicely if possible, and save a bundle of money. Try to split everything 50 50 if possible. Make him be a father in trade for support.
Only you know what your options are, personally I would not want him back, ever. My own husband is an Adulterer, believe me it’s no kind of life for a women to live with a "wishy-washy" man.
It is worth it though to try….it’s worth it. If you have children like I do then it’s even more worth it.
Be careful.
that train left the station long ago when he started sleeping around. it’s best to keep it moving.
you have to put your foot down with him, let him know that your not going to listen to his lies..tell him it’s over. That your not happy so it’s time for you to move on.
that is your last option… stop being the victim.
he acts like that because he feels, you will always be there.
although you love him… you and your kids have to come first. period.
what’s the point in being with him, if he’s just going to continue to be this.
we get married because we believe were going to be happy and the person would never betray you. he has broken all the rules….time to teach him a lesson…i’m not saying leave for good. i’m saying show him that your strong and if you have to you will leave..