Why wont my broken heart heal?
I have been with this guy on and off for 7 years. We have a 5 year old together. I love him very much though I have every reason not to. He has lied, cheated in the past, done drugs, been arrested for them, and still hangs out with the people he used to do them with even though he is on probation. We would fight every single day over his poor choices and his continual lying.
He told me 2 weeks ago he doesnt love me anymore and that I ruined his family by telling his parents the bad stuff he was up to. He said he would find another girl he doesnt have such a history of doing bad things to. This hurts so bad… I know I shouldnt be with him but no matter how many times I hear that its near impossible to let go. It sounds selfish but its hard for me to see him with another girl because im afraid they will have some great relationship that I tried to have with him but we couldnt cause of his actions.
Why is my heart not healing from this? He has moved on and hasnt looked back…
Lily – you dont have the most comforting personality, do you?
Tags: bad stuff, broken heart, drugs, great relationship, heart, lily, parents, personality, poor choices, probation, single day
oh yeh… haha… so exhilarating hey… teres not a doubt in my mind he has moved on. am jsut waiting to hear about the engagement and baby now!!! that will add to the kick in the guts as well… all that can happen now is Completely, Fully Submerge yourself into somethign you really like…. this will lead to more new freinds and your success!!! dont think about someoen else just yet… let that happen as it will.. and it will and when it does it will be like no ohter relationship you have ever had before!!!
let your passions heal your heart!
Dear Broken Heart Girl,
If he is not interested in a nice person as you then that is his loss. Try not to think too hard on it because my family knows people who have died from Broken Heart Syndrome. You will find a man one day who cares for you, wants you in his life, and loves you for you.
Hoping I Helped,
Brit
Think about it, there’s alot of love within those seven years. I understand what your going through and believe me a lot of women in the world are going through this at this moment. But to be honest if he had done drugs, been arrested for it and cheats on you no matter how much you love him hes not the one for you. I know you have a beautiful child with him but what will happen to that child if it’s exposed to your lover’s behavior? I say drop the zero and heal yourself from the causes he did and get a hero.
The best way to heal from a bad realtionship like this is to worry about only yourself and your child. Get your hair done, by clothes for yourself, and think about yourself like your on top of the world! Don’t be dependent on this one guy. People come and go within lives and if he goes, and never comes back he’s obviously not the one. Be smart and don’t steep as low as getting a loser who does drugs and gets arrested all the time. Your better then that.
It takes time for a heartfelt romance to heal. Pain and emotions go deep especially in relationships and you did have a child together so that can also be adding to your pain… her not being with daddy. But you said yourself that its best and time to move on. You have to think about your child as well. Do you want them to continue to grow up and see the mess their daddy is in? That is not a good example for them to follow and you must know that. Every day will get a little bit better and you will mend. Time heals all wounds and that is fact. He’s only trying to make you feel guilty about his family being ruined by you as well. You did not ruin his family. HE DID. He is the one that isn’t living a life that his parents can be proud of and they would have found out anyway. You didn’t give him a criminal record. You didn’t break the law. He did and his parents would have found out even if you didn’t tell them as soon as he got arrested. It would have been in the papers for one. I don’t think he ever really loved you or your child. You don’t do things like he is doing if you care deeply and love someone. You want to give them a good life. He didn’t want to give either of you a good life. You don’t lie to the ones you love either. Love isn’t like that… not genuine love. If he did love you it was a selfish love. There are two kinds of love. One is from the greek word called Fileo and it means love of self. In that type of love you take care of ‘ME’. In other words your first concern is to little ol you and its a very selfish love because its of self. It meets your own needs first. The second kind of love is from the greek word Agapa and it means Godly love. The kind of love that God gives to us. That kind of love is unconditional love and you don’t think about yourself first you think about the other person first and formost. You give and do not take with Agapa love. I think you loved him with Agapa love but he loved you back with Fileo love. That will never work in a relationship. You both have to be Agapa lovers. I hope you get over him soon and in the mean time, give all your agapa love to your child and find ways to help others. Volunteering builds up your happy endorphins and helps you get over the blues too much quicker. Good luck.
There is a certain adrenalin rush that happens inside us when family drama ensues. It is easy to confuse that with the heart fluttering that happens when we are in love. It can be addictive. People seek it out sometimes. That is why suspense movies are so popular. But in a movie you get to leave the theater, and it goes away. You may have developed a "conflict seeking personality". You need to be with emotionally healthy people. It is unfortunate that you have a child with this loser. This means that in order to do what is best for your child, you have to keep this nare-do-well part of your life. Don’t worry about him having some great relationship. He is only going to leave a path of destruction wherever he goes. You need to relegate him to the role of "baby daddy", and find a newer healthier prototype for your relationship material. Those "nice guys" that seem so boring, They are the ones most capable of giving you long term happiness.