What do I do if my mother-in-law hates me?
I have been dating my husband for 8 years. We have been married for 2 years. When we first started dating she would get drunk and call me names. Eventually I forgave her and we got along fine. Then she started talking about my husband’s ex-gf all the time, how wonderful she was etc. It really hurt my feelings because I felt like she was trying to tell me that I was not a good daughter-in-law. At are wedding she got drunk and her wedding toast was basically "I have never liked *****, she is not good enough for my son". She brought a bottle of bourbon from home to the reception and was spotted drinking from it by several guests. I try to always be nice to her and I always get her birthday presents, x-mas presents and thank you notes. I never lose my temper with her although sometimes I cry. Now we are getting along again but I can almost FEEL her hatred for me. Whenever I am around her I feel scared and nervous. What do I do? I love my husband but if it were up to me I would never see that woman again.
Tags: 101 Names, 8 years, bourbon, ex gf, feelings, hatred, mother in law, temper, wedding toast
Unfortunately, she’s a part of his life, or will be until, she dies. After 8 years, her opinion, well-founded or not, probably won’t change. So, you’re just going to have to bite the bullet. Kill her with kindness and let everyone see you’re being sweet and she’s just a bitter old drunk.
That said, don’t take her words to heart. She sounds like, as the rappers call it, a hater.
You know what? There is nothing wrong with you. She is just "one of those people" if you know what i mean. Who really brings a bottle from home and drink it at the wedding? She sounds a little coo-coo. As for the answer to your question, im not sure if there is much you can do. Try talking to her and ask her why she acts like this to you. Get your husband to talk to her also. She needs to understand you cant just go around treating people like that, and you don’t get drunk and call people names either. You are the better person, and she won’t be around forever right
Oh sweetie, your mother-in-law is just plain rude and mean. And full of hate. I could say more but I’m tired and I’ve got morning class tomorrow…actually today. So I’m going to make this short. You can’t do anything about your mother-in-law. All you can work with is yourself and your attitude. You can’t control how someone else feels about you. Okay, she hates you. As hard as it sounds, let her hate you if it makes her feel better about herself. You’re better than her.
Some mothers have trouble of letting go of their sons and often view their daughter-in-laws as threats to their relationships with their sons. Now, first off, make sure your husband knows how you feel about your mother-in-law. And my goodness, I want to know if he is standing up for you! Because sweetie, if he isn’t, well, that’s another story that I might have to get into tomorrow when I’m not so tired.
Anyway, my advice would be to move away from her. Pretend that she lives on Mars or something. Surround yourself with people who love you. You DON’T need to include her in your life. You married your husband. Not her.
Learn to let go. She doesn’t have to like you-your husband LOVES you. Don’t fight with her, try not to hang out with her, but let your husband have a relationship with her.
I know it sounds hard and believe me-it is for a long time. My MIL hates me to this day (we’ve been together 8 years as well) and even two years ago that bothered me. Nowdays I just nod and smile and shrug off whatever she says because I choose to focus on the fact that I have Hubby and our children to live and love with and she, on the other hand, is a rude old bat who will never change.
Good luck.
Watch your back. My wife’s Mom HATED me for taking her daughter, and wasn’t afraid to tell me, tell her, tell our kids how horrible I was and so on. Oh we had some pleasant times but I learned early on to watch what she was doing until we finally had to say enough. Although Debi has tried a few times there has been no contact for 20+ years.