Am i still in love with my husband?
My husband & i have been married for about 1 year & 6 months.Bt we have been together for 3 years. I got married when i was 17 & he was 20.Im 18 almost 19 now & he’s 21.We dont have children.And well i feel as if im not "in love" with him anymore.I love him & always will bt im not "in love" he’s been a good husband although before we got married he cheated on me so many times & he was abusive.& i thought i had gotten over that.But i haven’t.it still hurts what he did & i can’t trust him ive tried for over a year & i just can’t.& it has caused a lot of problems between me & him.He’s not abusive no more & hasn’t cheated bt when he promises me that he will never do that again i just dont believe him.& lately the sex is boring.i dnt even want to have sex with him at all.& also iv been talkn to someone new.He makes me feel so good inside.I can talk to him about anything.& i just dont have that with my husband.i have never considered him "my best friend" he is very controlsive & so i tend to do things behind his back.I dont want to hurt him if i do choose to leave him bt i dont want to regret it neither.Plz Help. idk if its just because im young & want to experience something new or if im just really not in love with my husband anymore.
Tags: 3 years, best friend, hasn, love quot, Promises, T Amp
Hope i am able to help. Is quite a norm for couple to find sex boring after some time.. I was in such a situation too some time back, and it got so bad that many a times i wanted to cheat on him.
Things started getting better after having an open conversation with him to spice our sex life up.
Remember those early days of teasing/many foreplay/seduction/winks across room/ playing with his legs under table prior to sex and you begin to realise that you don’t do it as often as you are now after some time? Try back these acts again!! They are MUST-HAVE techniques to reconcile sex life like the good old times leaving you both breathless and aroused and so ready for more sex .. You can encourage him by moaning sexily and demand where you want him to touch.. Say things like "darling.. I like it when you do it this way" with a kinky look and he will go absolutely wild and to try all ways to satisfy you.
Suggest some bedroom games that allow the winner to share his/her secret fantasy and the other party will have to make an extra effort to satisfy the other party craves/desires!! Sharing secret fantasy helps. My man made extra effort to satisfy my desire each time we play it.
Try some outdoor sex/quickie too.. At the cinema, in the park, in public toilets, while driving, in changing rooms and more. Leave him unexpected about what you have in mind, then request for one on the spot.. (Or simply grab his hands and put it under your undies) Is thrilling when it is unplanned for, and you can see his expression in awe!
I have compile more sex guide especially written for men and women on my website about getting in the mood / spicing up sex life / good foreplay / erection endurance / female orgasm and everything you need to know to be a better women on bed. Is totally free and this is my little naughty gift for you for better sex with your dear one tonight! Get him to read it with you under the couple’s section and I am sure he will appreciate with your effort in wanting a better sex.
I hope the above helps!
Remember that love is a choice not a feeling. Given your young age though, I would probably advise that you leave the relationship if you don’t want to be married anymore, but I think his heart would be broken as it seems he is trying really hard to be a good husband to you. Anyway good you don’t have children.
Only you can answer that.
Honey if he has cheated on you, abused you and treated you horrible then I would hope to shout you weren’t in love with him.
I would leave him and go to a battered woman’s shelter and get some therapy.
love changes. the "in love" part doesn’t last forever unless youre very lucky. the love part is there always. but if your hubby cheated on you before you got married and you didn’t trust him then why did you marry him? you were entirely too young to get married in my estimation and are still too young to be married… BUT since you are married, i would strongly suggest that you forget about this "other person" youre talking with and try to work things out with your hubby. this other person is confusing you.
The only part of this that I am even going to touch is this- You CANNOT be in love with your husband, or even try to repair this relationship if you are falling for another person. It simply will not work. No question.
This other person is making you re experience that feel-good hormone rush that you first felt when you fell in love with your husband. And if you divorce and marry this new guy and then meet someone else, it will happen again. Its not special, its human psychology.
Because you are seeing all of this through the rose colored lenses of someone who is falling in love, the things that your husband did that were bad, look even worse now. In fact, Ill bet that you have started being more nit-pickey and critical of him. Am I right?
My biggest idea in this situation is to stop, totally, I mean 100% stop talking to this new guy, and make a real effort to repair your relationship. Tell the new guy that you have to try to save your marriage, and he needs to stop talking to you. If after a while of real, legitimate effort, you still haven’t been able to recover from the past then you should consider your options.
You hit the nail on the head in ur last sentence. After 3 years, the lust has worn off…and you’ve already got one foot out the door.
Honey, now that the hormones have waned, YOU have to put some effort into your relationship.
1st- Get a divorce, THEN scope out new guys, not the other way around. It’s not hard to give away p*ssy. SOMEONE will be interested if/when u divorce, I promise! As long as you’re talking to someone else, you’re going to hate everything your husband does and use it as ANOTHER excuse to leave him. I think that you can’t talk to your husband because you’re not interested in his opinion. It’s ALWAYS easier to talk to a man who is trying to get into your pants.
2nd- Accept all apologies with a light heart.
Ponder that a while. Once someone says they’re sorry, you say, "I forgive you." It’s difficult to mean it but once you learn this skill, the rest of your marriage will be a breeze! You’ll get nowhere by holding things over someone else’s head.
3rd- The sex being boring is your fault. Try some new tricks & he’ll respond likewise.
4th- Stop doing things behind his back. Everybody feels controlled by their partners at times. That doesn’t give you the right to lie to him (even by omission). You’re talking about the kinds of lies that snowball into a whole secret life…that can NEVER stay secret for long. It’s naive to think that it won’t catch up with you. Honestly, I think you’ve called him controlling because you think everyone will say "leave the controlling bleeeep". Sorry to disappoint you.
5th- Two wrongs don’t make a right.
Honestly, the things he did came out, and so should yours. You need to own up to what you’ve been doing. If your husband is willing to forgive you (you can’t force him to when you haven’t even forgiven him), you’ve got a shot.
Now I know how harsh and judgmental I’m probably coming off. The truth is, I’ve been there and done that with everything you’re saying. I’ve lived and learned my lessons. I’m just trying to give them to you straight, without sugar-coating them.
The truth is, for a relationship to be successful, you’ve got to straighten up. When you got married, you knew it wasn’t always going to be easy but you chose to take that step. Marriage isn’t something you should give up on as soon the hormones wear off. You can’t hold the past over your husband’s head in order to justify your own wrong doings.
Heed my warning:NO relationship will be forever until YOU become a worthy partner!
No, honestly if you are questioning it, and especially on here while also talking about your feelings for another man. Sorry, but I think it is time to move on.