i want to win my (ex) boyfriend back. need help!?
we broke up new years eve….almost exactly a week ago. we were together 8months and generally happy, but he suffers from depression and was in a nasty mood the week of new years eve. we had an argument and broke up….. shortly after i told him i didn’t mean it and it wasn’t what i really wanted, but he said he feels like he needs to work on himself as an individual and can’t do that when he’s so involved with someone. he said he really didn’t want to lose me as a friend though, so we’ve been ‘friends’ so far. we hung out for the first time last night with a friend, when we were alone he admitted it was the first time all week he was awake and happy and he asked me if id please stay his friend. im hoping if im patient and play it cool, he’ll start wanting me back.
but how long should i wait to try to make the jump? i don’t want to move to quick before he has time to miss me(and maybe appreciate the ‘single’ me), but i don’t want to wait so long that he adjusts to being without me.
and how should i make the move: while it’s generally my style to be verbal, he seems to be MORE resistant to emotional moments, he kind of shuts down sometimes. i was thinking maybe i can just wait till the right moment and kiss him, he wouldn’t over think and maybe it would be the fun spontaneous kind of thing that would make him fall for me again.
what do you guys think? any advice for me?
Tags: depression, emotional moments, Ex Boyfriend, new years eve, right moment, Years Eve
When two individual ego states are compatible, relationships work smoothly. The moment there is a mismatch – trouble starts which eventually leads to a breakup. To get back with your ex, one of the things that you need to be prepared for is some amount of ego bashing. For example, you might have to admit to a series of inadequacies which caused the break up and so on.
However, to get back with your ex, need not always be a self-demeaning exercise. You could still win back your ex without losing your dignity and sense of self esteem, provided you are careful right from the beginning. Here is some food for thought:
•At the first instance, agree to the split, without raising any storm or your temper about the impending breakup. To get back with your ex with dignity, this is the first step.
•Sorry, if you think that begging or pleading with your ex is sure sign of the love that you feel for the person. On the contrary your submissive and weak attitude is completely misunderstood. As you beg and plead, you are perceived to be a clingy individual who lacks self confidence and is looking for a prop to lean on. Since such impressions remain etched on the mind, it is better to refrain from such emotional outbursts if you want to ever get back with your ex.
•Keep your emotions after the breakup under check at all times. Even if you bump into your ex sometime later, never show your anger, resentment, sadness or grief at the loss of love. Pretend as hard as you can, to show that life is just fine without your ex and you are content with what you have. While you retain your sense of self esteem this way, you are also telling your ex where he or she gets off. Strange but true – this triggers the desire in your ex to get back and your mission to get back with your ex is complete.
•Fighting or getting in to a mud-slinging game with your ex is perhaps one of the worst demeaning exercises that you can get involved in. Neither does it help you to prove a point nor do you get back with your ex. Even if you do, your murkier side is already exposed and memories of rude words or actions can never be removed completely. So be careful about what you say and do before, during and after the breakup. It can make or break your chances to get back with your ex.
For more info, please read this article:
The best thing you can do is respect his wishes and let him work on himself. Some times guys (especially younger guys) need some "personal time" to find themselves and grow as an individual. Stay a part of his life, be his friend and be there for him. This may make your bond with him much stronger in the long run!
A lot of people believe that there are ways for getting your ex back!
There are some things you can do or not do that will increase your chances of getting back your ex.
Here is a great website on how to get your ex back. Check it out if you are interested:
http://www.exbackguides.com/
For now, give your boyfriend the time he needs. By having time apart you are giving him something to miss. Your absence can create a sense of loss, making him place a higher value on you and tricking his heart into wanting you back to fill this void. Absence truly does make the heart grow
fonder.