How should I deal with a breakup when I’m friends with both parties?
Wall of text incoming!
So my friend, lets call her Sue, has been my friend for a long time and has started going out with a new guy, let’s call him Jack. Now, Sue introduced me to Jack and I got to be really good friends with him. Early in the relationship, Jack cheated on Sue. Jack kissed another girl, which was big because of Jack and Sue’s lack of much physical contact. But, Jack didn’t ever tell Sue about this and it’s just been realized what has happened these past few days, several months later. I personally think Sue should forgive Jack. This is because I’ve talked to Jack and just know his personality, and I believe he genuinely loves Sue and is very sorry. However, Sue’s family and all of her friends disagree, and I didn’t believe it myself until a few days ago when I talked with Jack about it. I told Sue this and I think she discussed it with her friends and family, and because I was once also against Jack but now am not, I think they are mad at me, which I don’t want.
As I sad before, I talked about this with Sue, and she will NOT be together with someone who cheated on her, even though he has gone as far as apologizing and giving her a ‘sorry’ gift in front of her sister, mom, and lots of friends, which in my opinion, takes a lot of guts. I also think that Sue is mad at me now.
Now I feel like I just can’t win. I told Jack I would try to talk to Sue, and I did, but it didn’t end up the way Jack was hoping, so he’ll be mad at me. I think that Sue and her family, who once deeply trusted me, no longer trust me, and I’m afraid that both parties, who I was once friends with, are not anymore.
I guess I changed my view on Jack, and I’m afraid that people won’t like me because of it. And suggestions on how I can get myself out of the large hole I’ve dug myself into?
Tags: few days, friends and family, good friends, guts, large hole, long time, personality, relationship, sister mom
You know what – get out of the middle of that relationship.
Nothing good ever comes with being the guy in the middle – the two of them can sort out their own bull crap! Yep it’s all bull crap. Their own drama in the making.
They’ll just end up back together and then they’ll ditch you while they happily stroll off into the sunset.
The morale of the story. Take care of your own business, and let others sort out their own.
Youi are in a no win situation. Just say out of it totally!!!
Tell both of them you still want to be friends and you can’t do that if you take sides.
You should just go to both of them and apologize for interfering (even though it was asked of you). Tell them both you want to be their friend regardless of what’s going on between the two of them.
From here on out, don’t bring up the other when you’re with one of them. If they start talking about their exes just listen… don’t comment, and don’t be the middle man for either of them.
Long story short, don’t take sides (at least out loud). You weren’t in the relationship, so no matter how much you’ve been told, you don’t know the whole story. Let them work things out on their own if that’s what they want, just don’t bring up the relationship.
The best thing to do would be apologize to both of them for any wrong that you have done then tell them: "I don’t wanna take sides unless one of you is really abusive towards the other. I like you both and I don’t wanna play middle man. So don’t tell me anything negative about eachother behind the others back because I’m not playing counselor." That should work. If not, f@#$ the drama, girl. Let them deal with their own problems. You got your own issues to deal with.
1. Get out of the middle of you can not win you are too close to both you are in a lose/lose situation
2. Tell them to work it out themselves because you are friends with both of them and don’t want to lose your friendship with either of them
3. If they tell you to choose WALK AWAY real friends do not do that!
well nick been there done that but yours is worse than my so what i think is that everyone needs a second chance give "Sue" a time to cool off then just you and her just try to talk to her. Tell her all the good times her and "jack" had. But if she is still hard headed then she can not forgive anyone which is stupid. and after that don’t waste your breath.