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would you be willing to try save your marriage after finding out your hubby has had an affiar?

September 15th, 2009 by admin | Filed in Save My Marriage

ok so i was seeing a married man we were sleeping with each other for near enough a year and a half
it ended over a year ago now last time i saw him was over a yaer ago however
iv recently message him via the facebook website
just to ask how things were going and if he was ok
was just a polite message b ut the next day to messageing him id been out with friends and got very DRUNK…
therefore i messaged him once again telling him i missed not seeing him
i later got a message saying sorry do i no you inplieing hed had no other messages i know its his wife messageing me back he wouldt put such a thing so now his wife knows of his little secret but shes is not away that we were seeing each other for over a year

theres probably hell on within thier house hold at the moment
i really shouldnt of messaged him should i
i wish id of let well alone i was wrong of me i know!!
but do u thing they will work through it could you try save your marriage after finding out his been haveing an affair??
or will this be the end……
i think they have been married over ten years now
so i really dont no what the future holds for them both now?

could you forgive??

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16 Responses to “would you be willing to try save your marriage after finding out your hubby has had an affiar?”

  1. Amy R | 15/09/09

    I think you’ve done enough. Go away and do nothing more. What they say and do and forgive and don’t is now their business. If he tells her the truth or makes up something is his choice. What she believes is her choice. Go away- let them try to have a life. Find someone who is not attached and can really be yours. EVEN if they did divorce and EVEN if he got back with you- could you ever really trust him? He has priors. Move on and do no more damage to his life, his wife’s life, or your own life.

  2. Baby's got blue eyes | 15/09/09

    No. Because my husband is well aware that I have been very hurt before and I am well aware that he was unfaithful to his ex-wife. I have told him that I would not ever tolerate or forgive him for cheating on me.

    So if he did have an affair, I would end the marriage. I dont believe in giving a cheater a second chance … all that does is give them another chance to hurt you again.. which they will.

  3. ebby08 | 15/09/09

    Nope, sorry. I can see it happened once and circumstantial but sleeping with someone for over a year shows that he could care less.

  4. Steve from PA | 15/09/09

    How do u know that wasnt him ignoring u..?

  5. Rrubicon | 15/09/09

    There’s a chance she’ll forgive him if he’s honest and straight up with her. This could mean that you will be hearing from a very angry and hurt wife. Don’t count on her tossing his lying butt out the door too soon, but if she does, do you really want that "prize"? If he cheats with you he’ll cheat on you.

  6. Alice | 15/09/09

    In a way I’m glad she knows now she has every right to know and he is an idiot for not telling her, because it is worse to keep it in longer then finding out by someone else.

    Personally, if my husband did cheat on me, I would break up with him as soon as I heard.
    I just think everythign there would have been lost ad try my best to move on.
    I would forgive him in the end but I would not still call him my husband and if anything my friend.

  7. Erika S | 15/09/09

    Its none of your business, will you be happy if they won’t work? I bet you the guy is doing all his efforts to win back his wife trust.

  8. Betty M | 15/09/09

    The other woman worried that she has destroyed her lovers marriage and concerned that she has stirred up some trouble.

    Now that’s a new one!

  9. Aquamarine | 15/09/09

    Every woman is different on the way they handle issues like this. There are other factors that often play too, fiances, kids etc. But for me, of course I wouldn’t take it esp. when the affair has been going on for more than a year. But you have to know, that if but partners are willing to try again and work on their marriage, you have to let them do that in peace. Its their decision.

    If he wanted to be with you he would have already ended his marriage long time ago. You have to find a way to move on.

  10. vaishali | 15/09/09

    If i love my hubby then probably I would forgive him.
    I think it would be best if you best if you dont contact him.

  11. ♥Yasmina♥ | 15/09/09

    Don’t worry about what they are doing….I was seeing a married man for a year (he told me he was practically divorced) and I thought there would be hell going on in their home too, when she found out.

    Turned out she was putting all the blame on to me, and forgave him immediately. I didn’t want anyone to suffer but it really killed me to have been given ALL the blame while they carried on playing happy families.

    I can advise that she will never leave him and he will never leave her – if this is what you were hoping, I would forget it.

  12. Just have faith In Jesus! | 15/09/09

    Im going to be honest with you and Im not being mean or rude so please don’t think that. I just want to tell you the Truth and the facts
    I know that no one is perfect and we all mess up!!!
    But if you where that lady and you found out that your husband did something like this to you and you loved him with all your heart and he throw that in your face …. Would you trust him and take him back again?
    Could you sleep next to a man that had sex with another woman?
    Could you trust him again and look at him the same.

    I don’t think you would sweetie?
    I don’t think any woman would.

    I don’t think u understand how terrible this is because if you did…you would have not done that…You would have been more mature and thought about your actions…. and I don’t think there marriage will make it….but at the same time this is his fault as well….he shouldn’t have cheated on his wife like that…he should have stayed away from u and been truthful to his wife…You have no idea what this does to someone…My aunty is going through hell because of woman like you…..I think you need to pray and ask for forgiveness because God sees everything!!

    And you should pray for that poor lady
    She will never be the same because when you love someone so much and they do something like this…You lose there trust and you lose your heart and your confidents

    Everything goes cold and heartless
    And things are just not the same
    Im sorry if you think Im rude but Im talking the truth and I think you need to stay away and found yourself
    Good luck and God bless

  13. free_angel | 15/09/09

    I divorced my cheating husband. No regrets.

  14. bride's mom | 15/09/09

    Kind of sounds like you have mixed feelings here – on the surface you seem concerned that you may have let the cat out of the bag & hurt his marriage yet underneath you seem to be anticipating that your letting the cat out of the bag hurt his marriage giving YOU the 2nd chance you want. What happens in his marriage is NONE of your business – i never really was. HE made a bad choice when he had the affair with you – because he should have been faithful and because you obviously can’t be trusted either. You need to go away & leave him completely alone – no contact of any kind. Give him the chance he seems to want to make things right. Some women actually can forgive if they believe it was really over – your messages are selfish & mean at this point. If you ever cared about him at all & if you truly know you are wrong here, you will leave them alone – what the future holds for them is none of your business!

  15. rotorhead | 15/09/09

    LEAVE THE MAN ALONE ! ! You have done enough damage.

    If I screwed around on my wife she would kick my ass out in a heartbeat, no discussion, no compromise. After what her last husband did to her, she has a zero tolerance policy on cheating.

  16. PUNPKIN | 15/09/09

    I THINK U R A LITTLE BITCH LEAVE MARRIED MAN ALONE GO FIND A MAN OF YOUR OWN THAT ISNT MARRIED U R A HOME WRECK-EN BITCH IT HAPPEN TO ME AND IT SUCKS HOW WOULD U LIKE IT IF U WERE MARRIED AND IN LOVE WITH YOUR HUSBAND AND A BITCH LIKE YOU DO THAT. WELL ITS F—. SO STAY AWAY

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