we dated 3 years ago.. we were young and we were immature.. right now she likes me again and wants to be friends with benefits. she says she is not ready to date because she is emotionally not right, not from me but from her last bf that treated her badly, we have been talking and spending alot of time together and we get along great. i just need a good plan to get her to take a risk an date me

Tags: 3 years, alot, bf, friends with benefits, Risk

I’ve been talking to this guy about 2 months. We don’t get to see each other often, but when we get to spend time alone we make out. He gets in touch with me at least 4x a week, sometimes every day. He’s been trying to set up this work opportunity so we can spend more time together…

However, two days ago (sunday) we met up (spur of the moment). We can’t be seen together in public (we are both married, but in our culture, sadly there is no divorce, it’s not even an option because it’s not legal. But we both know eachothers partner and we know we’re both lost and stuck in loveless forced relationships. I hadn’t even been kissed in almost 3 years until I fell for this guy!? Aside from that, we also work in the same industry, sometimes we work together, but never one-on-one, so we can’t be seen together alone outside work)

So if at this point you can still be non-judgemental please read on. We drove around in his car. He kissed me everytime we’re waiting for a green light. We just didn’t know where to go, but he wanted to spend more time with me, so he suggested we check in somewhere so we can "bond". I said no!

So, eventually we found a little hole in the wall type of place where it was dark and there was nobody. We talked for several hours. it was a really great night. He was a real gentleman (opened my door, guided me in with his hand around the waste, he ordered for me, paid the bill). Then he brought me home. But then he didn’t get in touch with me the next day? I just text him late in the evening to say I forgot to thank him for taking me out on the date. He replied, anything for you.. But that night I couldn’t sleep. I felt it was going into a direction I wasn’t comfortable with. I was still offended and embarrased that he might think of me that way. I’m not interested being a FWB.

But the day after that (earlier today) he did text me. He asked how I am and let me know what he was up to the rest of the day. I told him somethings bugging me and I had to be honest with him. He said I can call him when I can. So I called after 30mins and told him that I was a little offended when he asked me if I wanted to check in.

He said he was really sorry I took it that way, that he wasn’t trying to force me to sleep with him. But because on a sunday everything is closed and we can’t go anywhere public (or our homes) and he wanted to talk to me and spend quality time with me outside the car it would be more comfortable being somewhere safe and secluded… Then he got so ashamed of making me feel that way, so he got off the phone. He sent a text 2 mins later that he was really sorry again and he’s so embarrased.

I text him back after 20mins that I just wanted to clarify that I was uncomfortable with that and I don’t want things to get weird because of it, that I have said things too that may have lead him on, and I should apologize for the miscommunication. I ended the text by saying that I enjoy our bonding time, I love spending time with him and I don’t want to ruin something good by rushing into something crazy without thinking… He didn’t respond anymore..

I know guys may feel defeated when reprimanded for something they did wrong, despite making up for it already with a great date (I KNOW! I should have cut him some slack and just appreciated the rest of the night that he made up for it all, I screwed up there) But now what? Does he just need "space"? What should I expect next?

Did I ruin everything by being unappreciative??? I hate the waiting game and it’s driving me nuts. I know my text said enough (right?) and I shouldn’t force the issue, but what should I do because I really really like him!?..

Tags: 3 years, Direction, divorce, fwb, gentleman, hole in the wall, little hole in the wall, Lost, loveless, Met, Partner, relationships, rest of the day, sleep, work opportunity

I dated my best friend for about 3 years. When my life was spiraling out of control he came out of nowhere and helped me. I never saw him that way until we got super close and then one day we went from best friends to dating. But we stayed friends and well we just clicked and got along. He was good for me. But not for long. We had a rocky on and off relationship and it really messed us both up. Made him more colder and angrier and made me more sad and distant. We began to fight more and soon we would spend weeks apart, pissed at one another. But I never stopped loving him. I loved him so much. Too much I thought at one point. And we kept trying to save the relationship by going back out and giving in one last try, saying this would be it and we’d make it. But…we never did. And he made so many promises to me. I’m 17 and still in high school so I have to see him all the time and it tears me up. About the third year he got more distant even while we were dating. He stopped calling completely, only texted me when he was bored, was always busy and never really talked to me much but since we had so much history and cause I loved him so much I brushed it aside and stayed. But it got worse. Really worse really fast. We broke up because he was treating me badly so I dumped him and yet we did things together which though it’s my fault only made me love him more oddly enough. But then I found out he was only using me. For about the last year we were together he was using me. It meant nothing to him really. And then it all happened in a sort of domino effect. One right after another he betrayed me with something that felt like a slap to the face. And before he did all that to me he just stopped even talking to me. He ignored me, barely looked at me and would avoid me and I was so confused! I thought we were still friends, still trying to work it out, but apparently he was already ready to move on, forget me. But he never told me until I asked him and he just said he was over me. And that was it. I was shocked but surprisingly okay. I guess I was just too tired to care anymore. But still. We went out seperate ways and I wished him well and told him I’d always miss him. But then the betrayals came and he broke my heart. I couldn’t believe it, wrap my head around how he could do that to ME. The person that was always there for him, always loved him, always honest and loyal to him and he betrayed me. I confronted him twice about two things that he did to me and I just lost it! I freaked out on him. And he said he never meant for it to happen and that he would leave me alone. We parted again. And for weeks I was getting better, okay without him, and he ignored me like always only this time it didn’t hurt as much. But then I started thinking about him more and started missing him like crazy. I just couldn’t erase 3 years of history. Couldn’t let it be over. So with advice from my best friend I pulled him aside to ask him if he was okay. He wasn’t. He was very sad. So like a stupid girl I assumed it was because he missed me. But then soon enough a week after that we started talking again, like magic. And we began to act like we used to, like good friends, teasing and joking and he even seemed to go back to his old self and treat me well. We even started flirting. And I knew in the back of my mind I couldn’t be with him after all he’d done with me. But I couldn’t stop falling for him. Again. Or at least…liking him. I began to feel things again and then…I began to realize one night that I shouldn’t care about him, after all he’d done to me. That it was time to let him go. So I did. I began to ignore him, pass him by in the hall. And it sucked. But I felt better day by day, and I thought I was okay, I was finally getting better again. But then just last night my friend called me and told me that he was dating someone else and it killed me! I don’t know why or what to do! I know I don’t love him but three years is so much time to just forget and erase to me. He was the first person I ever loved, or let in, we did everything together and we close mentally and physically, so this has really left me messed up. I’m humiliated and broken hearted because I hung on to every promise he made me only to find out he found someone else and I never meant that much to him. It cuts me up. And I just want this pain to go away so I can finally move on with me life. But even though I’m strong and I have great friends I feel so alone and betrayed and hurt and he’s the only one I want. I don’t know why he did this to me. Why he thinks it’s okay. Why he just stopped even talking to me, like we never meant anything. And I know it’s life and time heals all wounds but honestly I’m scared it won’t. Three years makes an impact especially when you never felt that way before. He came into my life at the best time and really saved me. So now my heart feels a

Tags: 3 years, best friend, best friends, domino effect, relationship, slap

My ex boyfriend (we’ll call him Sam) and I were friends from middle school and later dated for about 3 years. We lived together after high school for a while with our best friend. "Sam" was everything to me, everyone knew us as the one couple that might actually make it. Our families were ready for us to marry one day.the only flaw was he wasn’t on the same sexual plane as me.. He didn’t seem comfortable with sex. The lack of intimacy frustrated me and eventually we just became more like friendly room mates than the beautiful relationship we had. Feeling insecure I started flirting with an old hook up buddy that lived in another state. "Sam" found out and we broke up. It’s been almost 2 years and I am 21 years old now. I’ve had 2 boyfriends since, and am with somebody currently. But recently and randomly for the past month for some reason I can’t stop thinking about my ex and I can’t stop crying over him. Help please?
When we would talk about it he didn’t see the problem and eventually stopped kissing me in fear of turning me on. We have talked about it, we still met every couple months for lunch to talk and catch up but his recent girlfriend isn’t comfortable with it. I’m mostly looking for advice on how to FIX the mess I made- I’m aware I messed up…

Tags: 3 years, best friend, Boyfriends, fear, girlfriend, hook up, lack of intimacy, lunch, relationship, room mates

This girl he dated for 3 years broke his heart and now he is scared to let himself love someone again. Which I understand but I need to know what im in here for, we’ve been dating for over a month and doesn’t wanna see other people but how long am I gunna have to wait for him to make me his gf? What is that moment that guys go through when they know they are ready? Is there something I can do to assure him he can trust me with his heart?

Tags: 3 years, gf, heart, Love Girl