I have a cat, shes bout 4 months old now. her dad was a domestic cat that turned feral and her mum a domestic cat. when she was a baby she was really loving and always jumped on my lap for cuddles, although she was a bit agressive when playin like biting and things we tried not to encourage it. anyway as shes got older she was distant but still had an occasional jump on the bed and liked to be stroked. recently weve bought a male kitten. they love each other always cuddling up. but now she wont even let us stroke her! she duks her bac wen u touch it. the male kitten i lovely and ver affection, any suggestions, shes never been treated cruel so i dont understand? any tips on how to build a trusting relationship with her? PLEASE!!!

Tags: 4 months, affection, agressive, bac, Cats, cuddles, Cuddling, dad, domestic cat, love, male kitten, occasional jump, Stroke, trusting relationship

So, I am bisexual. I was going out with my ex boyfriend in September 09. He asked me out; we’re in the same school and he is the reason why I came out to the entire school. He lives kind of far away and I understand we couldn’t see each other as much as couples should, but I noticed that he never tried his best at school to show affection; He was out to some of his friends, but not everyone – not out like me. We either had to meet up in the bathroom and just hug and kiss, but that’s it. So one day my parents decided to take me and my brothers to Starved Rock [some really nice attraction in Illinois] and i remember that day because it was our anniversary. [it was in November] My parents made plans about going there a week before the way we actually had gone and so I let my ex know about it, i asked him if he wanted to come but he refused because he said he would feel uncomfortable being with my parents and stuff and I asked him why and he said because we’re a couple, and i told him it’s not like they’re going to know. I respected his decision and just left the situation alone. So, the day came and I sent him a message through facebook congratulating ourselves cause it was a month being together. I left to starved rock with my family [it's like 2 hours away from my house] and that was my day. By the way, he has no parents, he was deported from Colombia to Chicago and he lives with a friend of his, and he does not have a cell phone. The phone he used when we spoke was his friend’s. So, i remember coming back home at night and he sent me a message on facebook telling me that he was mad that I didn’t call him or anything. [i tried contacting him from starved rock, but there was no signal and i wanted to do it in the morning before i left, but i remembered him telling me to never call his friend's phone cause his friend didn't know about him] so I was hurt because it was not my fault that i couldn’t communicate with him, and plus he chose NOT to come with me to starved rock which would have been a PERFECT place to spend an anniversary at. Then, he was telling me how he fantasized about my straight brother, who also goes to our school and that he thought my brother was cute and everything. That wasn’t the only time he told me that. I was really mad and i ended the relationship that same day. Every since, til now, he sends me a message through facebook again and he tells me how he wishes he can go back into time and how he would make a great boyfriend; he basically wants me to give him another chance… but I’m not sure if i should buy it or not. I don’t know. He has a history of telling people at school that he thinks they’re hot and stuff, and I also heard that he’s asked people out but they said no. What should I do? I am so confused. He was my first boyfriend, and i still have feelings for him, but i don’t want to get hurt.
HELP!

Tags: affection, anniversary, Boyfriend Help, cell phone, colombia, couples, entire school, Ex Boyfriend, facebook, kiss, parents, starved rock

married 13 years 4 children stay at home wife I always worked alot. Wife fell out of love and divorced me and we are back together but only as roommates no love or physical contact I am dying and getting tired or trying nothing seems to work or help I am constantly in trouble or pushed away for something or another living on eggshells and breaking them all the time

Tags: 13 years, affection, home wife, intimacy, Lost Love, love, roommates

I’m 29 and dating a 35 year old man who is about to finalize his divorce. They have been separated for several months. He has 2 step children that he loves dearly and he has been a father figure to them most of their lives. The end of his marriage was due to several things – lack of affection, wife was alcoholic (even got arrested twice), verbal abuse (from her when she was drunk), and to add insult to injury she had an affair and told him about it.

He tells me he loves me, that I’ve spoiled him by treating him so well, that I’ve really helped his confidence and that I’m the best woman he’s ever known……sounds great right?

Well, anytime I hang out with him, his phone is blowing up – texts, calls, from the ex wife. She doesn’t know about me because he’s afraid she will take the kids away since he has no legal rights as a step parent. Whenever she doesn’t get her way from him – like asking him to go grab a beer with her and hang out because she’s "bored" – she starts threatening him, telling him she’s going to let his dog loose, and "you’re not going to see the boys again!"….highly manipulative. He hasn’t ever given in to her threats when he’s been around me, but he still very much "plays" nice with her.

Its getting really irritating to be hanging out with him and his phone starts blowing up with texts, etc. I don’t know why he can’t just tell her that he’s with friends even if he’s afraid to let her know that he’s started dating already. Which is ironic since SHE is still dating the guy she had an affair with – and she talks about that relationship to him. Yet – he’s afraid to tell her the truth.

To put it bluntly – I think she has him by the balls. He is a very rational, calm, nice guy – and she’s the complete opposite. I think she knows that she will always have him right where she wants him because he loves her boys so much. I’m mad at him now for allowing her to have so much control over him. But I realize that isn’t my problem to deal with or handle…..

The one thing I know I DO have control over is whether or not I want to continue to see him. I’m starting to feel like he has way too much baggage for me to want to deal with right now. I don’t want a guy who is p#ssy whipped by his ex wife who treated him like crap.

What do you think? Am I not being understanding enough?? I have NEVER complained to him about this – I have always stayed out of their business because I feel it’s not my right. But I’m annoyed.

To knowguy: I’m using "crude" terminology just to get to my point faster. I feel that I have been very understanding with him. Now I’m feeling fed up. I wouldn’t ever tell him "hey you p#ssy whipped jerk, grow a pair!"….I’m putting it bluntly for you all.

Tags: affection, balls, best woman, confidence, divorce, father figure, Insult, insult to injury, marriage, nice guy, old man, relationship, Step Children, texts, truth, verbal abuse

My husband and I have been married for a little over 3 years and I thought everything was great until about 2 months ago he had some form of a midlife crisis (hes only 36) about how we dont have kids (I cant) and he feels worthless etc..so we got passed that now about every other day he just turns off towards me..he’s made comments that really hurt just last night he said if he doesnt feel better soon he’s going to leave. Feel better about what? He’s harping on arguments we had early in our relationship. Almost as if it just gives him a reason to not care. He says he loves me wants to be with me but he does not show it. I cry constantly I love him with all my heart and all I want is to make him happy. I am so confused and I want to fix it, I’ve tried being sweet, listening, making his favorite food..everything..when i tell him how i feel it makes it worse. I need ideas..help..he says everything will be fine but how I can I live my life with no affection or love I feel so alone now and it would be nice just for him to make some effort..any suggestions… is this marriage going to last? is it worth saving? Neither one of us have ever cheated so I don’t understand where things went so wrong.
just to add.. I’d love to adopt but he has something against wants his own blood for whatever reason. He went from feeling bad about not having kids to now he says he’s to old to have kids and doesn’t want them. It’s been a roller coaster kind of couple months. For example right now he’s been talkative and funny..but give it a hour I’ll be in tears again. he says we don’t need counseling we’ll be fine but I like the suggestion of going on my own…
He’s 36– I’m 26..so no I am not starting to age

Tags: 3 years, affection, counseling, favorite food, heart, love, marriage, Marriage Help, midlife crisis, relationship, roller coaster, suggestion