My husband and I have been married 2 years in may and we’ve had our awesome times and hard times. I love him with all of my heart. We have had some problems recently. I started school again, we got a puppy, and for the past 6 months he has been working out of town. It has been sooooooo hard. We hadn’t had any kind of sexual activity in weeks. We have been trying to move, also… so the stressors were MAJOR high. We began to neglect each other a little. Realizing there was a potential problem, we signed up for a marriage conference. We were both committed to recieve whatever we needed to make it better. After the conference, we were getting better. We were happier, having more sex, and I was falling in love with him again. Last thursday, I see a mysterious number on the phone bill that he had called 4 times in 1 week and talked with this person on the phone 45 minutes at a time. I asked him about it an he confessed to the affair. He had the affair 2 weeks before we went to the conference (so 6 weeks ago). He said the guilt was eating him alive. He said he wanted to work it out and that he loved me. He said the relationship was over. I reacted with A LOOOOOT of anger. I gave him an ultimatum on the spot (I know I shouldn’t have done this now: Hindsight is 20/20) I said me or the out of town job. It truly is the best oppourtunity he has ever had and he’s really good at this job. He said he didn’t want to choose. I told him he had to. He said he wasn’t quitting his job. So I told him he didn’t have to decide then. I told him to think it through and talk to me when he got home. Well, I couldn’t wait… so I called him back that night. He said he had been thinking about it and that it was best if we split. I relented my ultimatum, but he said that eventually I would require him to quit. I begged and begged and he would not change his mind. He was saying things like, "I’m not in it 100% and you are." and "What’s to stop me from doing this again?" When I would ask what I did wrong he would say, "Nothing… you were a good wife."

It has been hit and miss since then. I called his mother and his grandfather to tell them what had happened (I know, I know… mistake). This pissed him off. He came to talk to me and one of my girlfriends was over (I know, mistake.)

I’ve reacted so emotionally and I’ve done things that I wish I hadn’t. I know I pushed him into thinking he "has" to do this.

We’ve talked a couple times since then… mostly buisness. Last night he called to ask me a question about bills and stuff and I missed the call. I called him back and we talked for 30 minutes (he hadn’t been answering my calls.)

I told him that I wanted to work on it, that we were under a lot of stress and that I hadn’t been the best wife… I apologized for nagging and for treating him badly. I told him that I was willing to change and be better. I told him I missed him and he said he missed me, too. I tried to pitch to him the idea of a trial seperation. He said he would think about it.

I know that I pushed him to thinking he "has" to do this…. will he come back to me? I know that he loves me or he wouldn’t feel so badly and be trying to take care of me. Just last week (before I found out he had the affair) he was calling me every morning to tell me he loved me and saying he was excited to see me.

He keeps saying everything is his fault… but the reality is 70% of men will cheat…. so if 50% of marriages end in divorce, then that 20% can survive it. Some men cheat once and never do it again. I know his love for me is real…. there is no question about that.

It has only been a week and we have experienced every emotion. Will he change his mind when we talk in person on saturday? What should I say?

The lack of sex is evidence of lack of communication. Sex starts in the brain…

His job is in knoxville. He is there m-f and comes home on the weekends. He had the affair in knoxville

I am willing to give him all the things he needs. He just needs to take it

Tags: anger, awesome times, Bill 116, guilt, heart, hindsight is 20 20, last thursday, marriage, marriage conference, mysterious number, Neglect, oppourtunity, puppy, quot, relationship, saying things, sexual activity, stressors, town job, ultimatum

About 5 weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me because he couldn’t take the cycle of us fighting each other every week. I couldn’t too, but I was the type to never give up. I was so shocked and emotionally out of control. A week after that, (I know this was a big booboo since I wasn’t emotionally ready yet and I was just afraid he’d start to "forget" me) we met up and I gave him a letter containing my apology, an explanation, the fact that I’m still willing to make it work between us, and asked for another chance. We could try it his way, without rushing the relationship like I did. He gave me a reply a whole week after saying that we were just too different, specifically on how we viewed love and relationships, and he just doesn’t think we’re both what each other wanted – at least at this point in our lives. We just weren’t emotionally equipped to handle each other and it’s unfair if we jump back into another relationship if we’re not ready. He says we both need a lot of growing up to do. "It’s better the way things are now." He said sorry, but that’s what he truly believed.

I replied three days after, thanking him for everything and agreeing with the breakup. I did sincerely mean it. But I’m afraid I made the letter sound as if it was a "goodbye forever" letter. It’s going to be 3 weeks since we haven’t corresponded and in that time, I’ve learned to calm down and evaluate everything again. I came to realize my faults and his. And I’m making a conscious effort to adjust my bad habits too. I think I’m getting to the "anger" part, after which, I know I should start forgiving. I’m giving myself 2 more weeks to settle my emotions down but I’m pretty confident, I’ll be good to go by then.

I’m planning on trying to contact him again, when I’m ready. But I’m a bit apprehensive because I’m not exactly sure what he meant when he said "at least at this point of our lives." Is 1 month too soon for him? How much more time do you think he needs? Also, how do I start approaching him?

Tags: anger, Apology, bad habits, big booboo, Booboo, conscious effort, emotions, Faults, love, relationship, relationships, reply

I have had propositions from very attractive eligible men, but I hate it so much I get neouseous with anger anytime someone asks me out. I feel very strongly that He was the only one for me, I am quite young and it saddens me that he was the one and I will never love again. Why do I feel very definately that I will never luv again and still feel sad that I wont

Tags: 3 years, anger, eligible men, love, Sad

him, and to do all those things men need and want etc…but what is your suggestion on how I do this when I am venting so much anger toward him for things he has recently done to hurt me? Some of things are small, some are big, and I am so hurt I am having trouble getting past the anger so I can love again. Please, no sarcasim.

Tags: anger, Better Wife, love, sarcasim, suggestion

It’s been a year and a half since he broke up with me and I still don’t know how to get over my ex,I have so much anger in my heart for how he treated me.It’s breaking me,How can I heal my heart and start feeling better?

Tags: anger, broken heart, heart