diamondcity34 Posted on Jun 12, 2010 9:41 AM

I am writing today because I am the victium of a DL brotha(Down Low), I am at the point now where i am lost and I feeling i’m crazy..well at least me is making me feel that way..We have been married for 3 and half years now..and we have 2 kids together..my husband is in the national guard and currently is serving his second term in Iraq. I served in the military as well but got out to jet married and have a family. I should have known something was up when everytime i would cheat on him when we were dating..he always took me back and said that he loved me soo much and couldnt see me not being in his life..we were high school sweethearts, forgot to mention..anyways when i was stationed in germany which was his first tour in Iraq we were suppose to get married since then..but for some reason i didnt feel right about the situation and i turned him down..i could never put my finger on it as of what it was..anyways that was my last tour and i got out of the military..came back home and he would always push the issue of us getting married..so then we just got married with the justice of peace..honestly i was pressured to marry him by family members and all…so i did it…his mother never even came!!!, said that she had to work!!..wow, A MOTHER KNOWS HER CHILD..but it still never dawned on me..anyways a couple months later i was preganant with his first my second child!, while i was preganant he neva showed no affection..and so i fussed and fussed on the issue and moved out and went my own way..got me an apartment and all…

Anyways ima skip some things cause i will be typing forever..My husband is currently on a tour in Iraq at the moment and I heard him having sex with another guy on the phone..my heart dropped, I was trembling, shaking and all..shocked out this world..I kept on listening and he was telling this guy that he loved him..and the guy was screaming his first name!!!..So of course I started screaming and going off on him..and he never said a word..I hung up on him and he never called back til 2 days later!…during that time, i was lost..my world had just came down right there in my face..He finally called back and said look i know that you heard things but jus ignore it!!!..now u know if i coulda stick my hand throu that phone..lets jus say it wouldnt be nice!..Anways through all this yes he has desires of being with me..he told me he felt that way since high school..its like i have soo many questions and he’ll tell me little things like yeah i have been sleeping with men..then turn around and say he lied!!, He constantly does things like that to me…and its breaking my heart..he dont even tell me he loves me anymore..we only had sex twice before he left..he shows me no affection and says when he gets back that he will work on that..??my take on that is how do you have to work on something that is natural when u love someone!!…His ring he doesnt even wear his ring…I asked him if he had it and he said yes and when i asked him to see it, he refused to show it to me!!!…and then the next day he apologized and showed me a ring that is not even the same ring that i purchased for him!!!..crushed me again…he is always going to the gym at 10:30pm!!im like wth!!..he sleeps with his back faced me!!..He doesnt even ask about the kids!, He lies, and keeps secrets..

*And he laughs like its amusing to him!, and brushes me off…The killing part of it all is that he is sleeping with his roomate!!…so he is living the life out there..wrk once a week…and watch dvd’s all day..he never sleeps and i dont understand that..I ask him to show me his d**k and refuses..and when he does it on the hard!!! and all shiny!!! wth!!…i ask him why is that like that..and he makes up lies and i see it in his face that he is lieing!!! It’s like when we talk its like he twists it on me!, like i can ask him well do you want a divorce and he tells me well thats what you want so do it..i dont want it but if thats what you want then thats on you!!, like he does things like that!! and laughs like its funni!!..*

HELP ME WHAT AM I TO DO!!??

Tags: affection, apartment, dl, family members, germany, half years, having sex, heart, high school sweethearts, iraq, justice of peace, Lost, national guard, neva, Reason, second term, Typing, Wow

My ex never agreed in writing to help with college but he had said he would. Through the years I never pushed for all the child support I could get because I thought he would help with college. He paid her room deposit, took her to register and then the very next day said he couldn’t pay that much and asked if she could go to a cheaper school. She found a cheaper school and then the night before graduation he backed out of all help. He paid his last child support in June and that has been it. He knows she takes monthly medication and he will not help with those expenses either. She has now chose a community college and is working to pay her rent, etc. The worst part is he sent his two step kids out of state to a private Christian college and paid for their cars, cell phones, laptops, etc. But his own he will not help with. Since it was understood all along that he was going to help and now he backed out, can I take him back to court for some type of fraud or something?
Even though she is working, according to all the government, I am responsible for her college until she is 24 or married. For that reason she is not able to file on her own next year with her income to get extra help.
Many of you have pointed out that 18 is an adult. However, my point in all of this is that he put his step children through an out of state private college and provided all they needed. I realize that at some point they have to be adults BUT the government will not let us do that. She is working, has her own place, etc. but the government will still not consider her on her own. I am angry because he stands up in church and professes to be a Christian, works in the church but he and wife are doing all they can to turn their backs on his first marriage. This is wrong. This is a man that would not even give his daughter 100 towards a security deposit for her apartment. He would not even help her get simple house-hold items to get started. She has done NOTHING to them. In fact, she has went over-board in being nice to all of them to get along. Even when she was excluded from trips to the beach each summer. If a child is college material, the parent should make an effort to help.
One more thing, this is also a man who got over 0,000 a few years back in a settlement plus he makes + a year and that does not include the income from his wife.
Yes, the government does make them adults at 18 BUT to apply for any loan, they have to start with the one from the government. It does not matter if they are even 21 years old, living on their own, working, etc. They have to include my income (if any) and my husband’s income until they are 24 or married. Even though my husband is the stepfather we have to give them our income for them to use in determining any grants, etc., before they other things kick in. I think that it is awful that a man has to have a court order to do anything for his daughter. I know that is current wife is behind it and I think it is awful that he can not be man enough to stand up to her and say that she is his daughter and deserves his help the same as the stepkids. Yes, I tried to stay out of the courts because I thought this man was actually honest in what he said through the years but I was wrong. As for his stepkids, they have grown into rude adults – I should have taken him for every cent.
Sorry – forgot. Yes, I do live in the United States.

Tags: adult, adults, apartment, cars, cell phones, child support, fraud, graduation, laptops, marriage, medication, private christian college, private college, Rent, room deposit, security deposit, step kids

Any good ideas how to deal with a 10 year relationship breakup ??.. I caught a lady at his apartment even thought he said they were just talking .. He told me we were going to work on us and try to get back together and that he wasn’t seeing or talking to anyone.. Well he is I know for sure now he knows I know …but he still wants to think about coming back here says he loves me I love him I am a mess I miss him and he was here helping me raise my 4 year old grand daughter and she misses him… He says he misses us… I am not sure what to do… if he comes back he will see this person at work everyday… what would you do ??? we are not kids we are in our 40s.. not married I was a widow when I got with him… this is only my second relationship he has been married twice and many relationships.. He says he is afraid I will not trust him again… He has been talking to this lady for a long time 7 months or more told he he talks to NO one at work even when he moved out told me that…And said we would see no one while trying to work on us… This lady was at his apartment the very night he moved in… And he gets mad when I say it is more then just friends..

Tags: 40s, 7 months, apartment, grand daughter, How To Deal With Breakup, just friends, long time, Relationship Breakup, relationships

I’ve been married for 3 years and have 2 children with my husband. I love him and got married at 17, but a few days ago we had a big argument and he slapped me in my face and gave me a bruise in my arm. We have always had respect until that day. I got so mad when he slapped me that I scratched his face. Both of my daughters were in the car when it was happening. I don’t know what to do. I left our house and am now with my parents, but he tells me to go back and promises it will never happen again and if it does we could split up forever. The problem also is that we were living in the house with his brother and his wife and child. They always watch my every move and I have no privacy there. I don’t want to go back to that house, but my husband says that that is the only way that he will rent an apartment for us. I don’t want my girls ever seeing that again. Please tell me what can I do?

Tags: 3 years, apartment, brother, bruise, few days, girls, love, parents, Promises

I am infuriated. My ex-boyfriend passed around several naked pictures he took of me to a bunch of his friends, and I never once gave him my permission. I just broke up with him and need to come up with a way to make him pay dearly for this. Anyone have any good ideas to truly embarrass him so much that he won’t be able to come out of his apartment for months?

Tags: apartment, bf, Ex Boyfriend, Ex Pics, Naked Friends, Naked Pics, Naked Pictures