It’s been about a month now and I can’t get over my ex. I see my ex "every" day at college when I go, which makes it even more difficult. I mean he said he fell out of Love with me because we argued a lot, and that’s not entirely true. We argued normally, who doesn’t? I just sometimes feel like he’s all screwed up because he got raped at young age, I mean my heart goes out to him. I feel like when we broke up it was all my fault, I’ve tried sending flowers to get closure, called him, text him, and I have completely stopped :’(. It hurts so much, I don’t understand it. Maybe I really did care about him, and it’s taking me a long time to get over this little guy. I know he’s had a rough past, but he doesn’t have to ignore me. I’ve always been understanding, when he first told me about his situation back then I started to cry. Because I can imagine how badly it hurt him, I think that’s why he has trust issues. He just broke up with me through text, he would never answer my calls or NOTHING. He just vanished, and he tells everybody that he is completely done with me. I don’t get it? Yeah I admit, I acted immature sometimes. I argued for the heck of it, but I never was really mean about it. He knows that I Love him, which is what gets me 
. I just want things the way they used to be, everyone tells me that Time will heal the pain. I don’t know, I feel like I’ve lost my bestfriend and the first guy that ever really cared about me. Now he is off talking to other guys, and I’m here a month later still trying to hold back the tears. I know he gave me a second chance, but it’s so stupid with what we argued about and i realize it now. I gave up "everything" for him, my time, my friends, and I even spent a TON of money the first month we dated and more after 3 more months. I just tried to make him so happy, and everyone tells me I can do better and he isn’t worth my time. That makes me so mad, because he was worth my time, and I thought he was the best I can do.
There were a lot of negative things about him like everybody else, he did lie to me about a few important things. He manipulated me, bossed me around sometimes to much, and when we argued he talked to me like a child. But besides all that he was ‘"amazing", he treated me the way I have always dreamed of a guy treating me. And I don’t know what else to do. Don’t take this as me being a snob or being stuck up, but I have money. I bought ,000 worth of clothes, took my friends out, read a book, and I have been exercising and doing my college homework like CRAZY. I can’t get over him, money doesn’t help, my friends remind me of him, they don’t say anything but the things they do remind me of my Matthew.
You know, I really thought deep down in my heart we wouldn’t break up. I know what my heart wants, and it want’s my ex back so bad. But he doesn’t even care to communicate with me whatsoever, he just ignores me all together. I think he’s disappointed in me, and feed up with how things were going. I know were great together, he knows I really enjoy his friends company and his parents. I feel like I messed things up and I can’t go back, if he would just let me have five minutes with him I could tell him exactly how I feel. If I could give him just one more kiss then maybe he would feel what I feel between us, but seeing how he appears to hold a grudge agains’t me. I don’t see that ever happening, you know it’s painful to see somebody you care about so much care to not talk to you, ignore you, and think only the bad things about you. :’(
Tags: bestfriend, closure, Friends, Heal Pain, heart, heck, Imagine, long time, Lost, love, money, second chance, See My Ex, sending flowers, trust issues
