Would you stay?
I found an email from 4 years ago in a folder he saved to his ex-wife pouring out his remorse/guilt that he left her and the kids when they were very young. He said tears were streaming down his face. I always knew he had guilt but not enough to say this. It is a long long story and I won’t get into the exact details but when I told him to get to know his kids again little by little he started to call. They live 6 hours from us. His children were 20 and 18 back then not 7 and 8 years old. He told them he remarried and his ex wrote him back saying he should have never told them. They didn’t even know they had a 1/2 sister that lived in another state who is 18 now. This child is not from me but from his ex girlfriend who died in 1993.
But he writes to his ex-wife the email I follishly sent to our kids, was, in hindsight, very insensitive and way too informative… What on earth was I thinking? I just thought it was best to come clean but now I realize the potentially damaging information I foolishly shared with them.. I guess I will remain a fool until the day I die since I have such difficulty distinguishing right from wrong. She is 8 years older than my husband and she definitely made him feel even more guilty then ever.
She never remarried. She has been going on and on in her life that he will go back to her.
He got an email birthday card from her saying Hopefully we will one day celebrate anniversaries, birthdays as a family.
They can’t stand me and never met me. I also found something to his mother who lives out of state and is 83 years old after the father died that in her will she will make his ex-wife the executor. (see my husband is away for the next 5 years). He will be 55 when he is home and his ex will be 62.
I have been married to him for 15 years. I have all his things at the apartment. I have his visit list with all the dates they go to see him which is very rarely and his kids go up there with her. I am up to see him all the time. He calls me 30 times a month. We are able to share intimate moments together. Now this.
He is a very strong man & even strong men can get teary eye and last week he said to me god forbid something happened to you that would be it for me. I couldn’t handle another love lost like I did with my beloved Linda which I knew he loved very much.
But he tells his mother in a letter in 12/2008 after his dad dies I want you to leave the urn that you and dad are in with (his ex-wifes) name and have a spot for me and my brother. Well where does that leave me?
He always said I want to be buried with you or be with you in the same urn.
So here he is telling his 83 year old mom a different story from me. They all speak and no one speaks to me. It is just unreal.
What do I do from here? 15 years of wasted marriage? I have been with him through so much.
I am in charge of his account, his money, there is money in the bank so that is no problem. But also he wrote to his exwife (referring to her smoking and having 2 heart attacks) I want you to live a long well deserved life and be there to see how I turn all this mess around someday…
She even wrote me an email 2 years ago saying you will never know the truth or he can say whatever he wants and when he called me that night I was crying and he wrote to her in this letter what did you write to her, she was crying and it took me an hour to calm her down. My husband said to her I am very insecure and why is she making it harder for him to get to know his children.
What do you make of all this?
He wasn’t married to the lady that has his child in florida. He was married to the lady in the early 80′s with his two oldest kids.
Tags: 8 years, anniversaries, apartment, big time, birthdays, email birthday card, ex girlfriend, exact details, executor, fool, guilt, hindsight, remorse, what on earth
