My wife and I have just celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary on Nov-18th. we have been married since she was 18 and I was 22. We are now 34 and 38. We have 2 boys ages 7 and 12. She is a Nurse Anesthetist and is currently doing her residency. I guess it was right around our anniversary that i noticed something just wasn’t right. I asked her about it and she assured me it was nothing could explain and she said she would get over it. I decided to just drop it.Then that fateful day came when I had left the house for a little while and came back to find a letter that she was leaving and we needed to separate for a while. I freaked and immediately started calling her and texting to get her back home. I agreed we would go to counseling and after most of the afternoon she finally returned I helped her unpack and we talked, this is where I did what I always did and just blew her off and never really listened to what was happening. She told me that I never help around the house with laundry and dishes and with kids. While she works 65+ hrs a week. I am a local truck driver and work about 45 to 50 hrs a week. We never went to counseling and I said I would change and start helping and never realized I was still being the same old me and nothing had changed. She noticed and we fought again. I finally ended up leaving this time and realized that night I screwed up bad. I called her and said I was sorry, and I was coming home to make things work. She said thank you for trying. I came home the next day which was a last Friday and I washed all of clothes in the laundry room and put them away, I washed the dishes and put them away, their was also clean dishes in the dishwasher that I put away, I cleaned up the kitchen and had the boys squared away before she got home around 6pm. We talked for several hours when she got home and I assured her I changed and I really listened to her and never raised my voice at her not even once. She told me it’s just something she feels and has felt this way for over a year! She said it was something she needs to work on. I assured her this was the "new" me and I am a changed man and I was sorry it took this long for me to realize what I was doing. I think we made love that night then I went shopping with her on Saturday and we made love again that night. we went to church on sunday (something we hadn’t done in many years). We just talked for a while telling each other that we loved one another and made love again. Monday I went to work and she texted me that afternoon saying that she would be late working, I told her no problem that I had to drive to McAllen Tx that night which was 9 hours away and I would ask my mom to come sit with the kids. I went home that afternoon and washed dishes and done laundry and fed the kids and made their lunches and laid their clothes out for the next morning. I then called her and brought her a hamburger up to her work because she was hungary. She was just getting off and so we ate and talked a little. She assured me she loved me and that she was working on her "Issues". I told her everything was done at home and I left to go get in my truck. Drove all night thinking about us and got to where I was going at about 5:30a and unloaded at 7a. Still no sleep worrying about us. I called her on the way back and we calmly talked and this is when she told me she loves me more than anything but she’s not "in love" with me, because of all the time I treated her wrong by walking on her. She said she sees that I have changed and she was very happy that we can talk and she felt better about telling me. She also said she wished I had done this a very long time ago and that she was here and willing to get rid of her feelings and move on, but she needs help from a someone. Tonight we talked again and I assured her that I am forever changed and how much I love her, and I would be the best Dad, Husband and Friend she could ask for. I explained how sorry I was for doing her the way I had done over the years and that she was the best wife anyone could ever ask for. We both broke down crying, and after a little while we finished agreeing we would fix this. A little later we ended up making love again from kissing. This time it was very passionate. I don’t want to loose her and she don’t want us to end either she has an appointment with counselor on Monday and I do on the 22nd of December. I know she has anger about the past she needs to deal with and I am doing my very best still. She just don’t know how. I told her tonight that was done kissing up and I was just going to be the old me just an "updated" version. The guy she fell in love with before. I don’t want to drive her away by trying to hard. I am worried sick. Does anyone out there see her and us getting better? What could I do to help her fall in love with me again? I have a company Christmas Party Saturday night, she is very excited about that and so am I. What could I do to on this night to help re-spar

Tags: 14th wedding anniversary, 6pm, boys ages, clothes, coming home, counseling, dishes, dishwasher, fateful day, last friday, laundry room, leaving this time, love quot, nurse anesthetist

I don’t know why… but my husband is very suspicious around me. He says he isn’t, but he definitely is. He never calls his mom in front of me, and when she does call he won’t answer in front of me. He always says ” oh we’re busy, I’ll call her tomorrow”. He gets constant calls (about 8 a day or more) from 800 numbers…. and this one 414 number. We do have a few debts so when he says they are bill collectors, they very well could be. He does EMS and sometimes he comes home late for work.

I used to work at the same company and I know that at times I’d be 3 hours late coming home.

Usually when he takes a shower, he brings his cell in there with him(I do the same so I don’t miss important calls).

He also brings his laptop but he uses it to play music. I never go on his laptop or through his phone. I have went through his phone before and it always starts fights so I stopped doing it. A lot of times there were hurtful things on there. Him flirting with his co-worker, his mom texting him about divorce papers being in(We’ve since healed our marriage and shredded them months ago). He moved 1 hr 10 mins away from his mom.

He moved 1 hour 45 mins from his job. He didn’t want to give up his job or friends or even college for new ones. He killed the car in mileage for 2 years, then finally got laid off from his one job. I got him hired down here, so he finally quit the other one. He tries to say he “quit” that job for me… but i’m sorry. when you move, you accept the fact that you need to find new friends, new jobs, and what have you. He always puts it on me though. He still isn’t very accepting of going to school down here or making friends.

He throws a fit anytime i bring it up. Our pastor, aka our marriage counselor, said for him to permanently “delete” that girl the he flirts with from his life. He still hasn’t. Anytime i mention her he bursts out into anger. She got married and texted him right after. He said he doesn’t want to get rid of her because thats His “best friend”. I thought i was his best friend? “Oh you know what i mean hun” is his excuse. When his phone rings, I don’t answer it. I’m scared he will get mad at me for answering it.

I mean, I am his wife after all, but I want to respect his privacy. I do believe in whats yours is mine though. Other than these things, there really hasn’t been that many issues. We are definitely in love more than ever… but he just lies all the time, even about stupid things that don’t matter. I was cheated on in a previous relationship and always told myself I’d never marry a cheater. Well after we got married he told me he lied about it and used to cheat all the time, but he grew out of it.

Why do I always think he is cheating? Why do I never feel like I have enough of his heart? Could it be because of his lies and deceit?

Could it be because I’m scared to get cheated on again? I know his family hates me… and that already makes him love me less. I can never go to any family functions…. and he never says anything about it. He doesn’t always make me feel like a queen. He barely listens to me. He never listens to my advice.

He only wants to do what he wants to do and doesnt care about my desires, plans or dreams. Its like he still thinks he is single. I really dont know what to do. Maybe if i get him to have the mindset of a husband instead of a single man, things would be better. Who knows how id do that though. I could sit and write here all day. But the point is… I dont feel treasured. I feel taken for granted way too often. It’s almost like that book/movie. “he’s just not that into you”….. only this one married me, then realized it.

It sucks and hurts but i love my man and dont even believe in divorce if i wanted to. How do I get him to be more honest? really, i think if he wasn’t so suspicious, I wouldn’t always assume the worst. I know they say if someone thinks someone is cheating, its usually because the other person is and they are self conscious about it. Honestly, I am not cheating. I’m very faithful. I just wish he even cared enough about me to put a real ring on my finger. He’d rather waste money on video games. I’m a very gorgeous thick mid 20 year old woman. I have gained about 10 pounds recently… but this has been ongoing for quite some time idk.

What do you think? advice? suggestions? tips to get him to love me more?

Thanks everyone,
goodnight!
I just wanted to re-iterate that to my knowledge has had NEVER cheated on me before… but he said he was a manwhore to his ex’s in the past.

I’ve talked to him and our pastor about all of these issues. The pastor put everything on me. I don’t know why. Anyway, my husband definitely has self esteem issues. I always tell him confidence is sexy, etc, etc. and always try to lift him up and make him see what I see.

I know he’s not cheating now. But I dont know if he did before or not. We just moved. But for some reason, anytime he brings up a female partner, and talks about her all the time…. I just don’t like it. It makes me un-easy. I do have self love and whatever else, I’m just too optimistic that it sometimes blinds me and causes me to be naive.

Thank you all for your advice. I just wish he’d tell the world about me on his websites(even though our status is “married” on them) & buy me a real wedding ring. Our marriage is only as strong as our ring! <3 Fake rings = flimsyness

Tags: 10 mins, 800 numbers, anger, Beca, bill collectors, co worker, coming home, debts, divorce papers, ems, Husband Cheating, job, Laptop, marriage, marriage counselor, mileage, mom, music, new friends, new jobs, Play Music

My wife and I have just celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary on Nov-18th. we have been married since she was 18 and I was 22. We are now 34 and 38. We have 2 boys ages 7 and 12. She is a Nurse Anesthetist and is currently doing her residency. I guess it was right around our anniversary that i noticed something just wasn’t right. I asked her about it and she assured me it was nothing could explain and she said she would get over it. I decided to just drop it.Then that fateful day came when I had left the house for a little while and came back to find a letter that she was leaving and we needed to separate for a while. I freaked and immediately started calling her and texting to get her back home. I agreed we would go to counseling and after most of the afternoon she finally returned I helped her unpack and we talked, this is where I did what I always did and just blew her off and never really listened to what was happening. She told me that I never help around the house with laundry and dishes and with kids. While she works 65+ hrs a week. I am a local truck driver and work about 45 to 50 hrs a week. We never went to counseling and I said I would change and start helping and never realized I was still being the same old me and nothing had changed. She noticed and we fought again. I finally ended up leaving this time and realized that night I screwed up bad. I called her and said I was sorry, and I was coming home to make things work. She said thank you for trying. I came home the next day which was a last Friday and I washed all of clothes in the laundry room and put them away, I washed the dishes and put them away, their was also clean dishes in the dishwasher that I put away, I cleaned up the kitchen and had the boys squared away before she got home around 6pm. We talked for several hours when she got home and I assured her I changed and I really listened to her and never raised my voice at her not even once. She told me it’s just something she feels and has felt this way for over a year! She said it was something she needs to work on. I assured her this was the "new" me and I am a changed man and I was sorry it took this long for me to realize what I was doing. I think we made love that night then I went shopping with her on Saturday and we made love again that night. we went to church on sunday (something we hadn’t done in many years). We just talked for a while telling each other that we loved one another and made love again. Monday I went to work and she texted me that afternoon saying that she would be late working, I told her no problem that I had to drive to McAllen Tx that night which was 9 hours away and I would ask my mom to come sit with the kids. I went home that afternoon and washed dishes and done laundry and fed the kids and made their lunches and laid their clothes out for the next morning. I then called her and brought her a hamburger up to her work because she was hungary. She was just getting off and so we ate and talked a little. She assured me she loved me and that she was working on her "Issues". I told her everything was done at home and I left to go get in my truck. Drove all night thinking about us and got to where I was going at about 5:30a and unloaded at 7a. Still no sleep worrying about us. I called her on the way back and we calmly talked and this is when she told me she loves me more than anything but she’s not "in love" with me, because of all the time I treated her wrong by walking on her. She said she sees that I have changed and she was very happy that we can talk and she felt better about telling me. She also said she wished I had done this a very long time ago and that she was here and willing to get rid of her feelings and move on, but she needs help from a someone. Tonight we talked again and I assured her that I am forever changed and how much I love her, and I would be the best Dad, Husband and Friend she could ask for. I explained how sorry I was for doing her the way I had done over the years and that she was the best wife anyone could ever ask for. We both broke down crying, and after a little while we finished agreeing we would fix this. A little later we ended up making love again from kissing. This time it was very passionate. I don’t want to loose her and she don’t want us to end either she has an appointment with counselor on Monday and I do on the 22nd of December. I know she has anger about the past she needs to deal with and I am doing my very best still. She just don’t know how. I told her tonight that was done kissing up and I was just going to be the old me just an "updated" version. The guy she fell in love with before. I don’t want to drive her away by trying to hard. I am worried sick. Does anyone out there see her and us getting better? What could I do to help her fall in love with me again? I have a company Christmas Party Saturday night, she is very excited about that and so am I. What could I do to on this night to help re-spar

Tags: 14th wedding anniversary, 6pm, boys ages, clothes, coming home, counseling, dishes, dishwasher, fateful day, last friday, laundry room, leaving this time, love quot, nurse anesthetist

I am currently living with a nother friend because my husband wanted to have some space! We have been together for 7 years and married for 3 out of those 7 in June. We have a 5 year old child and I am currently pregnant with his 2nd child(due in 4 weeks!). When his friends all got deployed again and he didn’t he became a different person and like a real women I stood by him. He began to drink a lot and he wouldn’t come home until the morning. My friends began to act shy around me and not talk as much so Iasked them what was the problem. They told me that my husband had brought one of his co-workers to a friends house and he did not tell me. I confronted him and her and told them that it was inappropriate and that I would like it if they would not talk until I met her and saw her as a friend. One day he got injured at PT and they brought him home to me for TLC. I was taking care of him when he recieved a message from a young female soldier (baby r u okay? I will buy you breakfast). I txt her back and asked her who is she calling baby! She tried to tell me that she calls all her friends baby. I asked my husband and he stuck to we r just friends. A few weeks later while he was sleep he recieved another message it was a picture of her in langerie! I forward the picture to my email account and printed it off. I asked my husband why would she send a pic to him like this and he said it’s just a bikini! I reported them both to the SGT because I felt that I was being disrespected and I can’t beat this girl up because she is a soldier and I don’t want to hurt my husband’s career. They put out a no contact order on them and I guess that was suppose to keep it down. They did not talk for a while and then my husband had CQ. It was an incident that just so happen to deal with him needing to get a report from her. Once that happened they went to the Field together and everything has went down hill. Long story short he began talking to her and ignoring me, drinking heavily, and not coming home. I found more text messages from her where she was buying him stuff and bringing it to him and then my last straw was when she txted him at 8 at night calling him baby again. As I went back into the history I found that she had invited him to her room to spend the night and he never responded to her so she was looking for an answer. I am currently trying to get a court order to get the message printed, and I have no idea wether he wants to stay married. He wanted me to give him some space because I went back to his job with the call records and the messages to show that they where still having contact. He has PTSD and maybe a few other problems and I feel that she is taking advantage of that. She is also a married soldier but her husband lives somewhere else. Does anyone have any good advice as to how I should go about this. I don’t want a divorce, and he said that he loves me still. I see it but how could someone just put there family out? I have to think fast and on my feet because I don’t want to go back to that lonely cursed house! I want to get a small apt. for me and my kids and get him in the barracks!
This is the right section. I am asking under military because a civil could care less about a soldier who has PTSD and wants to be redeployed. They also don’t know much about the military law. So please if you want to be ignorant and childish don’t respond. I am leaving him I just need more military law information to hlp me in my process.

Tags: bikini, calling baby, co workers, coming home, email account, female soldier, just friends, Met, Pregnant, real women, sgt, sleep, soldier baby, Wow