we started dating in 2007.I got preg in 2008.I had the baby in 2008.I moved in with him 1 month before the baby was born.Xmas Eve of 2008 we got engaged.In June of 2010 we got married.when the baby was 2 months old, I was on his computer.I found a chat between him and some girl.I confronted him about it and he denied it.A couple days later he finally told me that truth and said that he was sorry.I forgave him. I understand that nobody is perfect If I even try to talk to my husband, before I can even say the first two words of the sentence/question he looks at me and says "Shhhh",I’m not in the mood to hear you right now.I can’t even have a convo with him because he never has time for me.The last time he changed a diaper was about 5 months ago and he only done it because his parents was right there. he wants me to take care of the baby, take care of him,(I don’t mind cooking for him and washing his clothes for him) but he wants me to and bring it to him in bed everyday, find his wallet,etc because he can’t keep up with anything.On top of all of that he expects me to keep everything clean.I don’t even feel like a wife, I feel like "the person that took his mom’s place". I don’t expect him to come home from his job (security guard) and clean and take care of the baby all day.I would just like 15-30 minutes to myself every once in a while.Once in a blue moon he will call me "beautiful", tell me I’m pretty or that he loves me.He always says that I’m not grown up or that "I need to grow up".He thinks because he has a job, he is grown up.I don’t even feel a spark with us anymore.Sometimes I find myself thinking about a divorce.When I think about a divorce I find myself daydreaming about going out with my friends, just being myself, smiling and having a life again.He doesn’t let me wear make-up, talk to my friends, well have friends for that matter, talk on the phone with any of my old friends from high school, and when I talk to my dad on the phone he rushes me to get off.He gets mad when I go and spend time with my dad.He says he doesnt trust me with our daughter when we go out without him. he doesn’t care if i go anywhere with his family because "its his family".He choses how I dress, who I talk to,and he just told me yesterday that he is putting me on a diet because Im gaining to much weight in such a short amount of time.I’m happy that im with him and were are together but im not happy with our relationship, anytime i have to go to the doctor he cusses me out and puts me down because i wake him and get him out of bed because he has to take me.I dont have a car, we are still living with his parents and we are using their car and everything like that until we can get a house for ourselves.I tried talking to him and letting him know how I feel but he laughs at me and says "oh yeah, i just make you feel so bad, don’t I".He always says that I’m a piece of shit wife and mom he doesnt want me to even be around my dad.sometimes he says that he trusted me but other times he says that he doesnt trust people around me.my dad has done some things to me that should not happen between a daughter and father but I forgave him.my husband doesnt know about all the things that happened there. but like i said nobody is perfect and everybody makes mistakes.i wont let my daughter out of my sight and my husband knows that.im so confused when it comes to him trusting me. when i go to see my dad, i have to fight with my husband, he calls me names, tells me im no good, and when he tells me not to come back,i say okay and when i go to get mine and my daughters toothbrush,he comes up to me and asks me if im staying all night and that I better be back in the house before the night is over.i just cant stand it anymore.even though my husband is in the same house/room with me,i feel like a single mother.sometimes when im out in town i look at other dads/husbands and when i catch myself doing it, i feel so bad.i love my husband and i said those vows for a reason but i dont even feel like im married or dating.i feel like im a mom and somebody that took his moms place.i feel like im in a prison. im really scared because i told my dad that i would go to court with him on tuesday and my husband doesnt want me to go and i know we will be fighting about it. when he gets mad, he will hit me, shove me, do anything to try to get me to do what he says. the day before mothers day(2010), he shoved me around and i had to go to the hospital. they put my arm in a sling and my husband wouldn’t even let me wear it because he didnt want to look bad in front of his parents.Ive been told over and over by people that i need to leave him but i cant.my parents are divorced and i know what the kid(s) go through and i dont want mine going thru any of that. i love him and even if i wanted to 100% I cant because i love him so much. we fight when w
Tags: 30 minutes, 5 months, blue moon, clothes, convo, couple days, dad, Dating, divorce, eve, job security, last time, marriage, mom, old friends, parents, security guard, sentence question, shhhh, truth, wallet
