I want to contact my ex… That is the thought that dominates your entire being when your heart is broken because your relationship did not work out the way you would have wanted it to. It is a normal reaction to feel this exact way, but as a matter of fact, you need to take thing slow if you are going to have any chances of getting back together with your ex again.

You’ll hear a lot about the no contact rule when you start researching a way to get your ex-girlfriend back after a breakup. But what exactly is this rule and how does it work? Many people even think that going no contact means your ex will forget you forever.

Not true! Many of us believe that our exes will forget us after a breakup, but that kind of thinking can backfire. Here’s how the no contact rule works, and how to use it to get your ex back after a breakup.

What no contact is

No contact is essentially taking a period of time where you don’t talk to your ex, or have very minimal contact with her. During this time you’re focusing more on yourself than anything; you’ve now got a chance to:

1. See the breakup from a rational point of view.
2. Realize it’s not the end of the world even though you’re broken up.
3. Have a chance to calm your mind and breathe.
4. Get your life back in order.

No contact also allows your ex to do all the same, which is beneficial to her. So it works both way.

Why the no contact rule works

It works because no contact lets you approach your ex at a later date WHEN YOU ARE MORE RATIONAL.

Perhaps its most effective use is:

No contact gets you out of the desperate mindset.

Right after dealing with a breakup, most people go into desperation mode where they text and call the ex nonstop. Or IM them – whatever means of communication you use. And then, we try to figure out why they left us.

This backfires because then the ex-girlfriend thinks “aw, he’s so desperate, I’ll just stop talking to him completely and find a new guy.”

So when you feel the temptation come on to contact your ex after a breakup, it’s a lot wiser to go no contact, because then you avoid desperation mode, and don’t drive your ex away.

How do I use no contact?

To use no contact, first:

-Getting a calendar.

Mark off the days you’ll have no or low contact with your ex. (Low contact means saying hi, but not going much beyond that.)

30 days is a good time period to shoot for. It will give you plenty of time to get out of desperation mode and back into a rational, calm frame of mind.

-Mark off the day you will re-initiate contact.

Set the date 30 days from now, or whenever you choose, to re-initiate contact with your ex. Now, it’s important that you DON’T contact your ex before you have regained a rational state of mind. So allow yourself as much time for no contactas you need; better to overcompensate.

-Make a plan for what you’ll say.

Now, you don’t want this first contact to be, “let’s meet up and talk about our relationship for 3 hours.” Instead you simply want to be SEEN by your ex so they realize you are again the rational, calm, attractive, happy person she fell in love with.

So make it a light note, something like, “Hey, how’s it going.” You definitely want to keep the conversation neutral; avoid your breakup as a topic of conversation. Good topics include the weather, current events, and simple, easygoing topics. Avoid talking about any current romances in either of your lives as well.

Blood On The Dance Floor – Love Sucks (My Ex Is A Vampire)

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Tags: Books, Contact, Dealing With A Breakup, Desperation, ex girlfriend, exes, Ezine, heart, i want to contact my ex, i want to contact my ex boyfriend, i want to contact my ex girlfriend, i want to contact my ex help, i want to contact my ex so bad, ideas, library, matter of fact, Mindset, Order Contact, osx, period of time, point of view, relationship, video

I’ve been dealing with a breakup from a girl I’ve been with for the past three years. We met at the end of senior year in high school. I went to school 10 hours away freshman year and we stuck through it. I felt stronger and stronger about her each day. I decided to come back home and go to school with her for sophomore year. Again, it was a fantastic year and I loved every minute I spent with her. We were best friends, inseparable and we connected on a very deep level. I knew I loved this girl but I felt like I needed to go back to my first school to get a significantly better degree. At the end of sophomore year I told her I wanted to go back. She began to pull away until I told her I was doing it for us and to better my future. That made her feel better but she still pulled back. I kind of changed too as a result. I felt weird about her actions and I knew she took my leaving as a slap in the face. I began to be more short with her and our relationship took a turn for the worst. I thought everything was fine until one day a couple weeks before I left that she came in my bedroom as I woke up and said she wanted to be single the next year. She said the way I had been acting, the distance, and everything made her want this. I went through many stages of falling apart, anger, upset, numb, happy, just every emotion. A few weeks ago I got to school and my feelings stabilized. I realized that this is a girl worth fighting for. I took a look at myself and the way I had acted to push her away. I think God forced me to make the decision to leave to better myself and now I feel like I can be the most amazing boyfriend to her. I’m now going back home because I don’t feel this is the place for me right now. This decision was not because of her, but it doesn’t hurt that the love of my life is there. She’s been kind of seeing somebody now. She says she likes him but still loves me. She asks me why I’d deserve a second chance after hurting her. She says maybe in a few years we can try again. I know I’ve changed and I know that our relationship is right. I know I can be everything this girl could ever want. I know her better than anyone in the world. We are still best friends. I’m afraid she’s already written me off because she is unsure and doesn’t want to be hurt again, even though she hasn’t told me this. I’m going back in a few days and I’ve gotten her to go to dinner with me this upcoming weekend. She says its strictly as friends. I want to show her I can be a great boyfriend but how can I do this as just a friend? How can I show her I’ve changed and will always make her happy? What about this other guy, I’ve been supportive but how do I approach it? If you’ve read this far then I really appreciate it and I look forward to hearing back. Thanks.
No need to be a dick Linah. Thanks to everyone else who’s taking me seriously
@ LM: correction, shes not with another guy just seeing him. she says she doesn’t want to be his girlfriend even though hes asked…makes me think even more shes confused as to what to do

Tags: anger, best friends, couple weeks, Dealing With A Breakup, emotion, Fall In Love, feelings, freshman year, girl worth, god, Love Of My Life, relationship, second chance, senior year, slap in the face, sophomore year

Dealing with a breakup is never an easy situation and T.W. Jackson in his new book, The Magic of Making Up, seems to really understand the difficulties couples face when one occurs. His methods are by no means conventional, but that may be precisely why they are so very effective.

He understands that most people rely on traditional methods of handling a break up and end up falling into useless and self-destructive patterns that are ineffectual. Couples who really want to heal their relationships, and find the support and guidance they need, can’t go wrong with The Magic of Making Up.

The author, T-Dub as he likes to be called, offers a very straight forward and honest approach to dealing with a breakup. He explains his techniques by using real life examples and showing what happens when a variety of scenarios play out. He is very clear about the dos and don’ts making it easy for readers to follow his suggestions. He doesn’t leave you guessing. His approach may seem counterintuitive but the results are very effective.

Although T-Dub is neither a doctor nor a psychiatrist, he has an abundance of experience, practical advice and common sense that makes this guide particularly helpful. He’s not burden by the normal protocols of traditional therapy and medical guidelines and is able to lay things out in a more direct fashion. He’s good at telling it like it is and helping the reader get a handle on and deal effectively with his own unique situation with exceptional results.

The Magic of Making Up explores issues common to all relationships while taking the time to mention more specific issues as well. It deals with all types of problems, from the discomfiting quarrel to the complete and absolute breakup that seems to show no healing potential.

The book offers a holistic approach and solutions for any situation. The author helps the reader come to terms with the possibility that all relationships are not meant to succeed and how to determine the future of your own.

Using plenty of examples from both the male and female perspective, the author provides the reader with methods for overcoming a breakup. The Magic of Making Up review revealed the authors clever ability to help the reader re-gain a sense of control and direction over their lives and their relationships.

A very important dimension of this author’s approach is learning restraint during a break up. He is very specific about what situations to avoid and how to get past the deeply emotional and volatile stage where the temptation to act on emotion alone is great. He warns against drunk-dialing and incessant texting as they are unproductive approaches that are destined to create a deeper division in the relationship.

The Magic of Making Up reviews almost every imaginable circumstance that can occur in a break up and clearly lays out a strategy and approach that can help the reader make the best of a difficult situation.

Click here to read my honest and unbiased review of The Magic of Making Up. Here you will also discover how this guide performs in comparison to other get your ex back guides.

Tags: Conventional Amp, couples, Dealing With A Breakup, Destructive Patterns, Dub, Guidance, Honest Approach, relationships, Scenarios, T Amp