do you think this is just an excuse ? or do you really think he could really be thinking this ?

Tags: Ex Boyfriend, excuse

I knew when we got married that she was friends with guys…some of which she dated. She doesn’t ever see them, but will talk on the phone sometimes to catch up. She works in an industry that’s almost solely men. Her "maid of honor" was actually a guy, as well. I’ve struggled with all of this, being old fashioned and conservitive, but have come a long way in trusting her and have learned to live with it. She knows this bothers me, as we have fought about it in the past to no end. She thinks I need to "grow up" and realize this is the 21st century. But what century it is doesn’t mean $#@% to me. That’s nothing but a B.S. excuse in my eyes. I grew up thinking very differently. Bottom line is this: she is going back home to visit her parents without me…halfway across the country…and has been in contact with her bodybuilder ex boyfriend from high school. She asked him if he could help her and her sister with some moving, and if he can’t, she hoped he could at least meet her for lunch. She told me about how she asked him to help move, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he called, but failed to mention lunch or anything else discussed. I read the first email she sent him, but he hadn’t responded yet. Since then, she has deleted all emails ivolving him…and those are the ONLY emails she deleted…there are tons of other emails that have been sitting there forever. Am I wrong for fighting her on this? And no answers about "breech of privacy" for reading her email…we both have access to each other’s email and both know it as well. Why is she deleting them? Should I be worried? She really has always been up front with me about this topic, but now I feel like it may be a smokescreen fo her. What do you think?

P.S.- I would never even consider doing something like this…I have always felt that, if no kids are involved, and you have married, there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to be in touch with an ex…or any one from the opposite sex for social reasons. There’s just no good reason. Period.
Let me clear some things up… The reason I described this guy as her "bodybuilder" ex boyfriend is because that is what SHE refers to him as. Apparently he is AN ACTUAL BODYBUILDER, and she makes that known. Look, she’s going to go on this trip. I can’t be there. She will do what she wants. I can’t change that. I trust her. I don’t trust men. I think the whole thing is innapropriate. I wouldn’t ask an ex to meet, and wouldn’t meet an ex if she asked. End of story. To anyone who thinks my "invasion of privacy" was wrong…let me set the record straight. She asked me to check her email for a response to one of hers, and that;s when I saw the formentioned email….and that’s when she told me about all of this. And you’re right, I did know how she was when we married, but the same goes for her. Middle ground, right?

Tags: 21st century, bodybuilder, bottom line, breech, Century 105, email, excuse, lunch, maid of honor, parents, rea, smokescreen

I was in a relationship for 3 years and 90% of the time was not a pleasant experience. He was abusive (physically and emotionally) and hurt me emotionally in almost all the ways possible. I finally woke up 6 months ago and I decided enough was enough and I ended the relationship. He has not come to terms with our breakup and he calls me constantly for whatever excuse to talk to me. He will show up at my door, he was leaving lots of notes and roses and now occasionally will leave a note. He is extremely jealous/possessive and I can’t even be interested or date anyone because of this. I still love him and care about him, but I will never be in a relationship with him ever again. He said that he ruined the relationship with his behavior but I stopped his trying to re-establish a relationship. Basically I gave up in his eyes. I didn’t try my best according to him. I was always there for him, day and night. He owes me a large sum of money and I sacrificed many things (including one year of school) so I could make him happy. I worked two jobs to support him and his family in their times of need. I am now focusing on myself, school and family and friends. I’m only 21 and this is the only serious relationship I’ve been in and it was quite traumatic. Now for some reason he has switched it to where I am the selfish one who doesn’t have the time or desire to see him, when all through the relationship I had to practically beg him for his attention and time and love, which I didn’t receive. He tells me that he loves me and tells me all the things I wanted to hear 3 years ago. He hasn’t gotten mad in the past 6 months and has been respectful (except for trying to make passes/moves on me) and pleasant…but I still don’t trust him and apparently that’s MY issue. I don’t know what to do. I know that I won’t ever date him again and I’ve told him that. He is very needy and I think he doesn’t want to let me go because I am the only person that has ever helped him with anything he has needed. I think he relies on me too much and now that I am not with him, he doesn’t know how to handle it on his own. I wish we could just be friends, but with my resentment and his unwillingness to move on I don’t think that’s possible. I would hate to get a restraining order b/c he is my first love and that would be hard. Am I being a cold, hard person because I can’t just forget the past and move on with him. He said if I truly had loved him, I would be able to be with him like he is able to be with me. I need some input from other people because I am so confused if what I feel is okay.

I was so scared to speak my mind in the relationship that I buried my feelings. I find that now when I see him and he is calm, I will let my feelings out and I get so livid. I don’t know why I didn’t get mad until after we broke up. Is it wrong of me to be mad at him? I need help to move on and be happy. I want him to be happy too, and it kills me because I can’t give him what he wants, but I figure he asked for it with his inappropriate behavior.

Sorry so long…thanks for taking the time to read my story and offer advice. God bless! <3

Tags: 3 years, desire, excuse, family and friends, jobs, many things, relationship, roses, selfish one, serious relationship, sum of money, T Amp

He wants to keep contact, calls me every day (weird).

He’s been helping me with important stuff — I’ve been overwhelmed lately.

I’ve been going through so much change (death of my elderly little dog, health problems, financial problems), it’s hard not to accept his support.

But I think it’s an excuse for him to keep me in his back pocket ’till he finds someone else.

I’m not sure I want cut him off yet, but, if hearing his voice gives me a weird feeling (it’s stopped), I will.

BTW — I am just starting to date other guys.

Tags: back pocket, Contact, Date Guys, excuse, health problems, little dog, Painful Breakup, weird feeling

I had an affair at the beginning of the year. It lasted for a few months. I was out of state working for 8 months and because I was in Mississippi working after the hurricane, there was limited housing and not a lot of time off. My wife and I only saw each 5 times in 8 months. Thats no excuse, I really don’t know why I did it. It was stupid, selfish, etc etc. It was the first time I ever cheated, and as God as my witness I will never do that to my wife again. I cant bear to see her hurt the way she has. I could never express all the remorse I feel, but I will spend the rest of our lives trying to make it up. She is a wonderful woman and has found it in her heart to try and forgive me. We are active in church ( I have asked God for his forgiveness, and feel that I have repented my sin), and counseling. I hope she finds it in her heart to forgive me, I HOPE I can forgive myself one day. My question is…as hard as she is trying, she has god days and bad days which I (continued)
completely understand!! I have been and gotten checked for STDs to ease her mind. We have resumed our sex life and when she has some wine or beer at night (which she has just recently stared doing) te sex is fine. But if she doesn’t have a drink she cannot go on with the act. I’m not complaining, I will give her all the time she needs, I messed up. She did not. But I want to know what I can do to help her. I am so in love with her, and if anything came out of my mistake, it is that I realize now what a wonderful person she is and how I cannot live with out her. Our 11 yrs of marriage hae been wonderful. Anyone have any suggestions as to what I can o to let er know that I love her and want her and only her.

Tags: counseling, excuse, forgiveness, god as my witness, heart, hurricane, love, marriage, mississippi, mistake, remorse, rest of our lives, sex life, stds, time off, wine, wonderful person, wonderful woman