My wife and I separated a year and a half ago during a very rough period in our lives (financially), after eight years of marriage. We have two kids together and haven’t divorced yet. After about a year we started dating other people; we really could not see eye to eye and i was almost sure she hated me. I must also mention that i could not stomach seeing my children around her choice of new "friends". ? Yes, they hang out with our kids..
Just a couple of weeks ago I finally came to accept my share of the fault and mistakes in our marriage. I have realized that we turned down help and advice from friends and family and I now regret very much that we did not give it a chance. Since we have gotten over our tension towards each other, we’ve discussed the possibility starting over. I feel that I do not love her anymore even though I care about her very much that I am willing to truly give it a second chance, she tells me that she feels the same way about me. The other reason is that we just miss our kids and having a family too much, even though we have shared custody 50/50. I fear that we are feeling this way because we hate being alone and if things do not work out, of course our kids are going to be disappointed and affected emotionally. Where do we start, should we start dating again? seek counseling? or are we setting ourselves up for failure?
Has anyone had a similar experience?
Tags: counseling, eye to eye, failure, friends and family, marriage, rough period, second chance, Stomach, tension
HI,
I could sure use some helpful advice. My husband and I have been seperated almost a month. In the last year of our marriage, things have fell apart. I grew distance and have had an emotional affair with another man, in which my husband now knows about. My husband and I have 2 autistic children, which are mine from a first marriage and he adopted them. We have not seen eye to eye on many issues with the kids and I have made some very bad financial decisions which has cost us a fortune.
I moved out. I debated on this for a couple of months. The night before I moved, he said I had to go. I begged him not to make me go. He said it had to be this way for now. Since then, I have also lost my job and am having to fight my unemployment. I truly believe God has let all this happen to me to put me on my knees and get my life straight. I have never felt like I needed or wanted God more in my life. I have gotten my life right with Christ and I am totally committed to my relationship with the Lord and my husband.
I have caused him to lose all trust in me. I dont know what to do. I can tell he is very confused. Our communications has improved greatly. Before there was none and we can talk for hours on end now. We are talking about everything openly. He has spent the night with me a couple of times and the passion has returned to our love life that has been missing. I feel like he is fighting what he feels. I have begged to come home and he tells me no. I know this probably is not the correct answer right now because I do not want a quick fix. I want my marriage and I want things done the right way. I try to tell myself his roller coaster of emotions is all normal because I have hurt him so bad. He does still tell me he loves me and he misses me. He had not yet to say one way or the other if he can say he can give me another chance. His answer for most questions is I don’t know. He did tell me last night he was confused. I try to tell myself that there is still communications and that maybe that means hope. Sometimes I feel like he is trying to convince himself to let go, but deep inside he does not want too.
I know I have to earn his trust back. Does anyone have any helpful advice to help me take the right steps in saving my marriage without pushing him away? I am hoping in time he will agree for us to go to councling. I am attending councling with my pastor. He does say he does not want a divorce right now. I am more dedicated to him and my marriage than I was the day I married him. I am trying to do the right things and save my marriage with us being seperated.
Tags: Advice, amp, autistic children, correct answer, emotional affair, emotions, eye to eye, financial decisions, fortune, god, job, knees, love life, marriage, passion, relationship, roller coaster, unemployment
i have a confession i had a affair on my wife well shes not really my wife but 6yrs and kids shes my wife.i have not been home for 2 month and 7 days and all i think about is going home.i did go home a couple of times and i did stay the night and it felt so good to just be there with her and the kids.i havent been in my house sence her mom got there on feb 14 her mom and we do not see eye to eye.she lived wiht us 2 different times.it was hard on our relationship haveing her there then and to have her there now i fill i dont have a chance to get her back.i try to show her and tell her how sorry i am an i will never do anything to hurt her or betray her love again,she tells me i dont know what i want she tells me i need time and i wonder if its time for her to get over what i did or to get over me and as a man im not scared to say im scared of loseing her.i love this women more than anything in the world and if i could only turn back the hands of time i would have done alot of things different.i hope there someone that can tell me how to get her to forgive me and let us be as one again for the rest of my life at least. thanks
Tags: confession, different times, eye to eye, feb 14, going home, hands of time, love, mom, relationship, rest of my life
