been with my bf for 3and a half years. great reltionship. broke up for a few months – he did the breakin up. we got back together. after 4 months of being back, i started experiencing anxiety when i was around him. i love him so much and i’ve been trying to push through these feelings b.c i know i don’t want to not be with him. sometimes i’m fine and wonder why i worry. other times i get physically ill…most of the time it is anticipatory anxiety….anxiety about anxiety. will i get it today? will i feel anxious when i see him? we are moving in together, and i am freaking out that i’ll be in a constant state of anxiety once i move in. i know i wnat to do i though b.c i want to ove our relationship on to the next step. i want to conquer my fear…how can i move past this anxiety and cherish and value what i have and stop worrying about- what if’s? help.

Tags: 4 months, anticipatory anxiety, bf, fear, feelings, half years, love, relationship, worry

I have been married for 8 months, been with him for 2 and a half years. Our marriage has turned into a legal friendship. I have had 3 serious relationship talks with him in the past 2 months. Here are the problems. One is that he is on Lexapro, has been for over a year. The side effects are that they lose interest in sex. I excepted that at first, but we haven’t had sex since November. I told him to talk to his doctor about another med and he has seen his doctor twice since I said that and he has done nothing about it. The other thing is that he doesn’t want to do anything together anymore. He does not like my friends for whatever reason, doesn’t even try to get to know them. He does not want to go out with me and my friends even though he is invited every time. Even with out friends, he does not want to do anything. I go out, but I feel like I am married living a celibate singles life. The first talk I had with him, I was nice, trying not to hurt his feelings, I just said we need to do more things together, there are things we can do that don’t cost money, even play a game of cards or something at home. He said he understood and everything was fine, but then he did nothing to change. The second time I talked to him, I was a little more blunt, I told him that I feel that we are friends who kiss once in awhile and he agreed that he thinks we have turned into roommates. I suggested marriage counseling so that our marriage won’t get worse, and he seemed ok with it. Still, he has done nothing to change. The third time I talked to him, I didn’t hold anything back.
I told him how I feel lonely, how I feel like I have one life with him in our house and then another life with me out in the rest of the world. I told him that I feel like we lost it, he doesn’t feel that way. He feels things are fine. I told him that he feels things are ok, me here at the house cleaning and cooking dinner and that he has me to come home to. I feel that something is wrong, that I want to get back the passion we once had. He really had nothing to say to me when I was talking, he felt bad because he started to cry, but that was it. Still, no changes! My mom and my friend say that I might have to be the one to say let’s go do this or that, be the one to hook up with a counselor, basically be the one who carries this marriage. I don’t want to have to do that ALL the time. I want him to show some input, show that he cares. When we were first together, things were great. Then he went on that med and our sex life went to hell, and then after marriage, he just totally changed. I know that he loves me to death, he is never mean to me, but it feels like he is content with what we have now, we don’t even hold each other anymore. What else is there for me to do? Should I mentally have a time frame to give him before I say that’s it?
As of now, I don’t see myself leaving him, but I need to feel wanted, ya know? Any suggestions, thanks so much!
I am not ready to give up on the marriage, as the question is, what else can I do to save it and that I don’t see myself leaving him right now. I am in my late 30′s by the way and I know what marriage is.

Tags: celibate, feelings, friendship, game of cards, half years, lexapro, marriage, marriage counseling, money, rest of the world, roommates, second time, serious relationship, Sex, third time

(My boyfriend & I broke up yesterday)

Okay, so I know this may be a long read but I feel its crucial to add a little detail to the story for you to base your decision.

First of all, I had been with this man (who is almost 21 years old now) for 2 and a half years. We had broken up once before for 2 months the same time last year but then we both decided we were both still very in love and wanted to be together.

The reason for the break up was because we were going through a rough patch. Both of us were not changing. However, the things in our lives were. We both got excepted into Uni (part time). He works full time and I work part time, he wants to buy a house this year and is really serious about his future career and study.

His reason for the break up was because he feels that he may not be able to commit to our relationship 100% with everything else going on in his life (and I honestly think, that’s a lame excuse!) He says he doesn’t feel “in love” with me anymore. This is because I haven’t been myself lately and I haven’t been as happy as I usually am. I think I was being too dependant on him to make me happy and he just couldn’t take that anymore. On the other hand, he says he “still loves me” but not in the girlfriend way at the moment. He cares about me so much and says he still wants to be “apart of my life” and he actually still wants for us to talk & email each other. I had told him that, I can only be in his life as his girlfriend or nothing at all (as that is just too hard on me).

Aside from that, I had spoken to his Mum and she said that his aunty had come over 4 days ago (who he had never seen) and he brought out all these photos he had of both of us and he showed her, introducing me as his girlfriend. She said “well, she’s very attractive” and he said “yeah, she’s beautiful”. Now, is it just me.. Or what’s up with that?!

We were on a weeks break before we broke up to clear the air and I was constantly calling (which I know I shouldn’t have but couldn’t resist) which I think pushed him away even further. The purpose of the break was to see if he still wanted to be with me or not. He said that he was still so “confused”. And we broke up I think… basically.. So I’d just leave him alone for a while but he has me convinced that we wont ever get back together. Is he still confused about what he wants? Is he using “his excuse for this break up” as an excuse to push me away for a little while??
We broke up yesterday and I have not spoken to him since. I plan on not talking to him for 2 weeks because I want him to miss me and remember what it’s like having me around. I know deep in my heart that he will miss me & question if breaking up was the right decision. But is that enough for him to call me?

There is something so special about him that makes me want more!

PS: It was my birthday last Sunday and the week before he had spent 5 hours shopping for a present for me. If he really had no feelings for me, why would he bother?
PPS: BREAKING NEWS: MUST READ: He has just sent me a message which reads "Hey hope your feeling better today. Just though id check up on ya lol" …….. This is not good! (By the way, I’m replying)
I mean… not replying *****

Tags: amp, aunty, full time, girlfriend, half years, lame excuse, love, part time, photos, Reason, relationship, rough patch

My ex and I started dating my junior year in highschool all the way up until I was a freshman in college. We were sooooo in love, and no one ever thought we would be apart. But things changed when we went away to school. I went away, and so did he. Things just became a complete mess. We used to spend everyday hanging out with each other and spend most nights with each other as well. Then when we went away it was so hard to see each other (only some weekends). Well he ended up breaking up with me on our 2 in a half years, because he said it didnt feel the same anymore. That day i specifically remember him saying he thinks he might have made the biggest mistake of his life. But of course i kept calling him and texting him constantly and it just pushed him further away. It got to the point where he completely ignored me.

Well now its been 9 months since we broke up. I stopped texting and calling him as much, maybe text him like twice a week. We meet each other like once a week to just "mess around" (after all he was my first) He hugs me everytime we leave too. I feel like the sparks are still there but at the same time i dont know because when i text him to meet me he will ignore me most of the time, sometimes he will be like "im busy sry" if he cant, but sometime he just wont answer. But when he asks me to meet him i always text back. When we see each other at parties its like we dont even no each other, MAYBE a hi but thats it. Sometime i feel like he doesnt want anyone knowing we talk because ppl will think he likes me again…I tell him i just want to be friends and maybe hang out every now and then and it doesnt have to be just us two. But he just says idk maybe.

I feel like no one understands how hard this is for me STILL. I thought i was over him, but im not. I don’t think i ever will be. I love him. And im just asking for some advice that could help me get back with him. I will do whatever it takes. I know it will take a lot of time, but i need someone to please give me some advice. Love is the most amazing feeling in the world, and he was the most amazing guy. We were perfect together….

Please and thank you!

Tags: 9 months, biggest mistake, Dating, Ex Boyfriend, freshman, Half Life, half years, love, ppl, quot, sparks, wont answer

Me and my fiance broke up a week ago. We were together for 4 and a half years engaged for 3. It was his decision I didn’t want it to happen I tryed so hard to make him change his mind and he didn’t. I know it has only been a week but I just can’t stop thinking about him he is on my mind all day every day. We have been keeping in touch with text messaging and that is good. I just miss him so much I can’t stop thinking about him. He is working out of town on work this week so I can’t see him, but I keep trying to think of what I can say to see him when he gets back. I am going to see him in the weekend as our friends are having a going away party. We have both said that we will keep in touch and still see each other as friends but I am scared that won’t happen. I just wish that it didn’t hurt so much. All I want to do is text him and tell him I love him and I know I can’t.

Tags: fiance, going away party, half years, text messaging