My wife and I only dated for a totall of 5-6 months ( I know thats really short but we were with each other like ever spare second of every day during that time) not including the month long break up in which she came back. She used to tell me she loved me all the time and I felt like she really did ( I still love her) She got pregnant on our honeymoon and soon went off of her paxil for anxiety ( i was on it too..) She says she doesn’t think she ever loved me and she started getting really irritated by me for really small things like breathing hard in my sleep, stinky breath, the way I pronounce certain words. I went to counseling with her and to a psychiatrist for a few months and it seemed to help alot but not enough. She asked me to move out and she hasn’t filled out divorce papers but right now I’m just trying to be as supportive as possible and taking care of her by paying bills and getting her groceries and gas etc. even thuogh I live at my parents house 70% of the time. Her family is so upset with her including her kids from a previous 14 yr. mariage, in fact last weekend her son asked her to invite me over because he misses me.. I just am having such a hard time, this is my first time to be a father and he’s due in like 2-3 weeks.. Did she ever love me? If so, can she love me again? Is it likely she will have feelings for me after? Sorry if you’ve read my other posts I’m just really concerned and interested in your opinions…

Tags: anxiety, counseling, divorce papers, feelings, groceries, having such a hard time, honeymoon, love, mariage, parents, paxil, Pregnant Wife, psychiatrist, sleep, stinky breath, totall

I’ve been dating someone for 4 months, everything has been smooth, easy and wonderful. A lot in common. Same morals, blah.. blah.. blah. He’s recently divorced (I know, my 1st mistake) and has a child with her. This is the 2nd time she had left him, filed for divorce this time. Told him that she felt no compassion for him on their honeymoon that he went through a lot to plan out and make special. No intimacy between the 2 before she left the 1st time and certainly not the 2nd. She now tells him she wants another chance, he has since told me that he isn’t considering her, that I’m everything he’s ever wanted and have made him happier than he’s ever been, I’ve done nothing wrong and I’m a wonderful person, BUT… he needs some space. He feels lost and empty. Doesn’t know if he can love again. Wants time alone to work on himself, get his head back on straight. Hasn’t called me since. Is he contemplating her? Or did he get scared? Will he be back or do I need to move on?

Tags: 4 months, blah, blah blah, compassion, divorce, Ex Wife, hasn, honeymoon, intimacy, Lost, love, mistake, morals, wonderful person

I knew when I married him a year ago that he had ,000 in student loan debt and doesn’t even have his degree. And I’m just as responsible as him for running my credit cards up over ,000 from the wedding and honeymoon. (we had to use my credit cards, he doesn’t have good credit) And we both have a bad habit of living outside our means. I don’t mean nice clothes or a nice cars. We live in a tiny one bedroom apartment and both drive 20 year old cars. But we like to go out allot and go on vacations we really can’t afford.
But seeing the credit card bills were getting larger not smaller, I told him we can no longer use them. At all. That we would have to try and pay for everything in cash. Well once again I see he’s used them. Now I can see he’s only using then for gas to work and trips to the super market. But each time he offers to go to the store to pick something up he’s lead me to believe he had money to cover these things. And his work is so far from where we live ,that its almost costing us more money in gas, than is worth it. And he’s been the (my) credit card for this.
I’ve talked to him about this before and I thought he understood. And now I’m trying to get him to understand that, that kind of behavior is living a lie. That he’s lying to me by not "mentioning" to me that he’s used the credit card again. This last bill I just got, we made a payment of 5 dollars and then he used it for 5 dollars and our finance charge is around and the card is maxed at ,500. I can’t get him to understand we can’t keep living like this.
It’s so rare to find a man that doesn’t grasp the concept of this kind of money denial. It’s usually women that have issues with credit cards and living outside their means.
Before I got married I had a great credit score and zero credit card debt. Now my cards are maxed out and my credit score is fair at best.
I’ve only been married for 14 months now and I obviously married for love, not money. But I didn’t think I was gonna be in debt the rest of my life. Combined we barely make ,000 a year and we’re talking about having kids. I’m 38 and he’s 39. So it’s not something I want to put off too much longer.
How can I get him to understand that the first step to us getting out of debt is to stop using the credit cards and be honest with me about when you have used them? Aside from these money problems he’s a very good man. I just don’t think his father taught him about how to be responsible with his money.

Tags: Bad Habit, bedroom apartment, clothes, credit card bills, credit card debt, credit cards, Credit Score, denial, finance charge, honeymoon, Live 105, living a lie, love, money, nice cars, old cars, Running, student loan debt, Using Credit Cards, vacations, zero credit

I’m a 19-year-old college girl, and for personal and religious reasons (I’m Christian), I’ve committed to remaining a virgin until my wedding night. I still want to date now, because naturally my body is encouraging me to have sex, and I want very much to fall in love and move toward that wedding night. The only trouble is that it seems most guys are accustomed to getting sex much earlier in a relationship than I’m willing to provide it, and I’m worried they’ll all get snatched up by girls who put out sooner.

Also, I hear so much talk about wanting to ensure "sexual compatibility" before marriage. This doesn’t really make sense to me because I’m thinking that if we have compatible sex drives, as well as similar morals and desires when it comes to sex (all of which we can find out just by talking), and we both have all functioning parts, there can’t be any real sexual incompatibility. Of course, I’m a virgin, so if I’m wrong on this, do tell. My point being that many people consider premarital sex common, and even practical.

So here’s the thing: I want a man who will respect my desire to save sex for marriage, who will be willing to marry without a "test run," and who will be patient enough to work with me on the honeymoon until I’m able to please him sexually. Are they still out there? If so, where can I find them? Are there any men on Y!A who are also waiting?
greatprincemichael, that was completely unhelpful. I’m already aware that most people in our society engage in premarital sex. If you read the question, I’m looking for someone to help me live up to my personal standards, not to scoff at them. A conservative church has not forced these values on me; I have chosen them myself based on my own personal interpretation of the Bible, and based on what I do and don’t want to experience in my life.

Thanks to everyone else for the wonderful answers! I really appreciate the suggestions, the encouragement, the personal experience, and the humour!

Tags: college girl, conservative church, desires, encouragement, girls, honeymoon, humour, interpretation of the bible, life thanks, love, marriage, morals, personal experience, personal interpretation, personal standards, premarital sex, relationship, religious reasons, scoff, Sex Marriage, sexual compatibility, sexual incompatibility, test run, Virgin, wedding night

My wife got pregnant on our honeymoon and we found out about 4-5 weeks later and about a week later she went off of her Paxil medication for anxiety I was taking it as well and went off of it too. Quickly our marriage went down the drain she stopped working and started sleeping like 18 hours a day and she became very critical of me and stopped letting me kiss her and she got very irriatated with me easily, saying my breath was bad and she would get upset because I was breathing too loud in bed, about 2 months into the marriage she stopped telling me she loved me and started sleeping in another bed and would no longer hang out or cuddle and she started asking me to leave and give her a break ect.
I am pretty sure she loved me at one point because after she broke up with me while dating she called me a month later and wanted me back and we got married shortly after. I took my wife to marriage counseling which actually helped alot but eventually she gave up and feels like she’ll never be able to love me. 3 weeks ago she had me move out and she plans to sign papers a month after the baby is born. I’ve done everything I can to keep her, I took her to the psychiatrist and got her on zoloft and it started helping and she started treating me much better but only once in the last month or so she told me that she felt like telling me she loved me but wouldn’t do it because she was worried she might get my hopes up. She let me cuddle with her all night and actually sleep in the same bed 3 times in the last month but now it’s like she’s made her decision to divorce soon. I still pay her rent and get her groceries and I try to support her and give her space but everytime I go back to her I end up in tears when I leave I’ve never loved someone so much and to have it go like this is almost too much for me. Is there any hope that after the baby is born I won’t irritate her so much and she will be able to have feelings for me again?

Tags: Dating, feelings, groceries, honeymoon, kiss, love, marriage, marriage counseling, medication, medication for anxiety, paxil, Pregnant, psychiatrist, sleep, zoloft