I’ve been talking to this guy about 2 months. We don’t get to see each other often, but when we get to spend time alone we make out. He gets in touch with me at least 4x a week, sometimes every day. He’s been trying to set up this work opportunity so we can spend more time together…

However, two days ago (sunday) we met up (spur of the moment). We can’t be seen together in public (we are both married, but in our culture, sadly there is no divorce, it’s not even an option because it’s not legal. But we both know eachothers partner and we know we’re both lost and stuck in loveless forced relationships. I hadn’t even been kissed in almost 3 years until I fell for this guy!? Aside from that, we also work in the same industry, sometimes we work together, but never one-on-one, so we can’t be seen together alone outside work)

So if at this point you can still be non-judgemental please read on. We drove around in his car. He kissed me everytime we’re waiting for a green light. We just didn’t know where to go, but he wanted to spend more time with me, so he suggested we check in somewhere so we can "bond". I said no!

So, eventually we found a little hole in the wall type of place where it was dark and there was nobody. We talked for several hours. it was a really great night. He was a real gentleman (opened my door, guided me in with his hand around the waste, he ordered for me, paid the bill). Then he brought me home. But then he didn’t get in touch with me the next day? I just text him late in the evening to say I forgot to thank him for taking me out on the date. He replied, anything for you.. But that night I couldn’t sleep. I felt it was going into a direction I wasn’t comfortable with. I was still offended and embarrased that he might think of me that way. I’m not interested being a FWB.

But the day after that (earlier today) he did text me. He asked how I am and let me know what he was up to the rest of the day. I told him somethings bugging me and I had to be honest with him. He said I can call him when I can. So I called after 30mins and told him that I was a little offended when he asked me if I wanted to check in.

He said he was really sorry I took it that way, that he wasn’t trying to force me to sleep with him. But because on a sunday everything is closed and we can’t go anywhere public (or our homes) and he wanted to talk to me and spend quality time with me outside the car it would be more comfortable being somewhere safe and secluded… Then he got so ashamed of making me feel that way, so he got off the phone. He sent a text 2 mins later that he was really sorry again and he’s so embarrased.

I text him back after 20mins that I just wanted to clarify that I was uncomfortable with that and I don’t want things to get weird because of it, that I have said things too that may have lead him on, and I should apologize for the miscommunication. I ended the text by saying that I enjoy our bonding time, I love spending time with him and I don’t want to ruin something good by rushing into something crazy without thinking… He didn’t respond anymore..

I know guys may feel defeated when reprimanded for something they did wrong, despite making up for it already with a great date (I KNOW! I should have cut him some slack and just appreciated the rest of the night that he made up for it all, I screwed up there) But now what? Does he just need "space"? What should I expect next?

Did I ruin everything by being unappreciative??? I hate the waiting game and it’s driving me nuts. I know my text said enough (right?) and I shouldn’t force the issue, but what should I do because I really really like him!?..

Tags: 3 years, Direction, divorce, fwb, gentleman, hole in the wall, little hole in the wall, Lost, loveless, Met, Partner, relationships, rest of the day, sleep, work opportunity

I posted a question a while back (below) about what I should do as my boyfriend was hurting me only having come back after he left a few months ago. Firstly I want to say a big thank you to everyone who took the time to reply it really helped.

Since all of this happended he hasn’t really tried at all, he didn’t even do anything for my 30th Birthday and didn’t even help. What he was more interested in was a speaker for his car, he could afford that. On my actual birthday he wasn’t around, the night after he went out, i explained that how can I beleive him when he says he loves me, he told me I just have to. The night of my party he kept dissapearing and people where asking where is he, I couldn’t answer so felt stupid. I caught him on the stairs texting someone else but he turned his phone over when I walked towards him. He had also already mentioned that it was another friends birthday, i told him if he wanted to go to hers instead. Later that night when I went to find him I caught him outside on the phone saying I’ll be there, i’m coming, when he turned around he looked shocked that I was there, I asked where are you going and why are you abandoning me on my party night. All I got was I’m going, I said what, again he said he was leaving. Now this was really wrong but I couldn’t help it I felt so let down I ended up slapping him around the head, I shouldn’t have done this as its not me at all but I was so upset. Only days before after all the crap with that girl had he said I need to trust him that when he says he loves me he does. Certainly didn’t feel like that. When I got home his stuff was gone, which i’m kinda glad about as I was thinking of asking him to leave at the end of the month as he wasn’t paying his way with bills and stuff, but I thought I’d give him a change and no money ever showed up- just like before expect this time I had to be strong and not keep him. I feel better that I don’t have to worry about doubting someone thats supposed to care anymore, but feel lost as I was hoping that when he came back he would be the person I fell in love with all that time ago. Even some of his friends have said that they don’t like him anymore as he has changed, but not for the better. I think I was right to not stand for this anymore but your thoughts would be most appreciated if you have time. Thanks again.

What should I do, My ex came back but wont stop texting someone he was seeing?
My ex recently came back and moved in again after a few months apart. He explained he left over silly reasons and that he came back because he loves me. Obviously I loved him and tried everything to make him see sense but ended up having to give up and try to move on. I started to see someone else and a few others took interest lightheartedly of course. Anyway when he came back we had the awkward conversation of do we have anyone else to tell that we are back together he said he had seen this one girl and it didn’t mean anything and i told him about mine. The next day I text everyone to say I was back with him and I showed him this and their response. He seemed reluctant to inform his interest. Anyway eventually he did and she kept texting him and calling him and at first he got mad and didn’t reply or was abrupt with her on the phone. I explained it has to stop and he agreed. A few days ago I received a message from someone who was still interested and I told him about this to keep the honestly between us alive like we agreed. Out of curiosity I asked him have you heard from yours, he then just casually said yeah we’ve been chatting. Now i’m not sure if what I feel is wrong, but to me at my age late 20′s if you get back with some and agree to draw a line under something you don’t bring the crap that you had over that point. I mean she still texts him and calls him when we are in our bed. I now dread hearing his phone go off and don’t want to ask him. A few days ago I mentioned that this is hurting me that even without him having to ask me to get rid of those interested in me i did so, and that I now have to put up with her all the time and it feels crap almost like he is keeping her there for a reason. When I ask him about this and actually say I don’t like it all I get is that she is a friend, he makes out like she is this amazing mate, who fair enough he has know for years but before he left he hadn’t spoke to her for 2 years. I tried to explain that he was the one who screwed up and that sometimes we all have to deal with the consequences our actions, even me in loosing the friend I was seeing because I don’t think its appropriate to keep them on the scene if Im with my fella. He really doesn’t understand this and all I get is she is just a friend. I don’t know what to do as I do love him, but over the past few days since he has basically said that he wont get rid of this person I don’t feel connected to him anymore, pretty much like he threw us away so easily before weather it was a mistake or not and now I

Tags: 30th birthday, crap, dissapearing, friends birthday, Lost, money, stairs, Stuff, Stupid

Surviving the Holidays Alone After Divorce or Loss of Mate boy I need tips on that one.The holidays and after the holidays can be a very hard time for people who have divorced, lost a loved one or mate. So can anyone give me any tips on how to survive a divorce, loss of a mate, or even a relationship. When you lose that relationship during the holidays that can be a rough patch. I do try and remember I am not alone, so take a read and help me fine me!

Tags: hard time, how to survive a divorce, Lost, Mate, relationship, rough patch, Surviving Divorce, surviving the holidays

I’ve broken my wife’s heart. I did something very stupid and out of character for me. (I think you can figure it out) I let flattery cloud my judgment. I love my wife with all my heart, I know there is no quick fix here, Im just looking for some suggestions from someone who has "been there" as to where I should start. Im completely lost here, and I need some advice, I don’t have any family I could go to, so Im reaching out here… Thank you

Tags: Advice, broken heart, flattery, heart, Heart Broken, Judgment, Lost

It’s been about a month now and I can’t get over my ex. I see my ex "every" day at college when I go, which makes it even more difficult. I mean he said he fell out of Love with me because we argued a lot, and that’s not entirely true. We argued normally, who doesn’t? I just sometimes feel like he’s all screwed up because he got raped at young age, I mean my heart goes out to him. I feel like when we broke up it was all my fault, I’ve tried sending flowers to get closure, called him, text him, and I have completely stopped :’(. It hurts so much, I don’t understand it. Maybe I really did care about him, and it’s taking me a long time to get over this little guy. I know he’s had a rough past, but he doesn’t have to ignore me. I’ve always been understanding, when he first told me about his situation back then I started to cry. Because I can imagine how badly it hurt him, I think that’s why he has trust issues. He just broke up with me through text, he would never answer my calls or NOTHING. He just vanished, and he tells everybody that he is completely done with me. I don’t get it? Yeah I admit, I acted immature sometimes. I argued for the heck of it, but I never was really mean about it. He knows that I Love him, which is what gets me . I just want things the way they used to be, everyone tells me that Time will heal the pain. I don’t know, I feel like I’ve lost my bestfriend and the first guy that ever really cared about me. Now he is off talking to other guys, and I’m here a month later still trying to hold back the tears. I know he gave me a second chance, but it’s so stupid with what we argued about and i realize it now. I gave up "everything" for him, my time, my friends, and I even spent a TON of money the first month we dated and more after 3 more months. I just tried to make him so happy, and everyone tells me I can do better and he isn’t worth my time. That makes me so mad, because he was worth my time, and I thought he was the best I can do.

There were a lot of negative things about him like everybody else, he did lie to me about a few important things. He manipulated me, bossed me around sometimes to much, and when we argued he talked to me like a child. But besides all that he was ‘"amazing", he treated me the way I have always dreamed of a guy treating me. And I don’t know what else to do. Don’t take this as me being a snob or being stuck up, but I have money. I bought ,000 worth of clothes, took my friends out, read a book, and I have been exercising and doing my college homework like CRAZY. I can’t get over him, money doesn’t help, my friends remind me of him, they don’t say anything but the things they do remind me of my Matthew.

You know, I really thought deep down in my heart we wouldn’t break up. I know what my heart wants, and it want’s my ex back so bad. But he doesn’t even care to communicate with me whatsoever, he just ignores me all together. I think he’s disappointed in me, and feed up with how things were going. I know were great together, he knows I really enjoy his friends company and his parents. I feel like I messed things up and I can’t go back, if he would just let me have five minutes with him I could tell him exactly how I feel. If I could give him just one more kiss then maybe he would feel what I feel between us, but seeing how he appears to hold a grudge agains’t me. I don’t see that ever happening, you know it’s painful to see somebody you care about so much care to not talk to you, ignore you, and think only the bad things about you. :’(

Tags: bestfriend, closure, Friends, Heal Pain, heart, heck, Imagine, long time, Lost, love, money, second chance, See My Ex, sending flowers, trust issues