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February 19th, 2011 by admin | 15 Comments | Filed in Ex Boyfriend Back

me and my husband have been together for 9 years now and he told me the other day he wants to be with someone else that is 9 yearsw younger than him we do have 5 kids total i am only 25 and he is 29 we are staying in the same house still and he stays over at her parents house until 5am every morning and he says it is not about sex he cames home to me every day and that is how he wants it he still wants sex with me every day also i give it to him cause i think he will fall back in love with me he says its not you its me i love you but i am not in love with you i dont want a divorce cause that is 200 per child theses are just the things he says to me he is willing to go to marriage counseling just 1 time and i am willing to go to make my marriage work but is it really worth it if this is how it is going to be i love him so much and it is hurting me so bad cause he comes home and holds me and tells me he loves me and still makes me feel good and i allow that please help i need advice

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November 30th, 2010 by admin | 6 Comments | Filed in Ex Boyfriend Back

My husband and I seperated after 14 years together. He says he barely loves me anymore and doesn’t really care if I date other people, but he wants to go to marriage counseling. I’m not sure if I want to keep being remind he doesn’t love me and go through he leaving me again. Can two people fall in love again? Or is it best just to move on and find someone who loves me for me?

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March 8th, 2010 by admin | 8 Comments | Filed in Save My Marriage

I have been married for 8 months, been with him for 2 and a half years. Our marriage has turned into a legal friendship. I have had 3 serious relationship talks with him in the past 2 months. Here are the problems. One is that he is on Lexapro, has been for over a year. The side effects are that they lose interest in sex. I excepted that at first, but we haven’t had sex since November. I told him to talk to his doctor about another med and he has seen his doctor twice since I said that and he has done nothing about it. The other thing is that he doesn’t want to do anything together anymore. He does not like my friends for whatever reason, doesn’t even try to get to know them. He does not want to go out with me and my friends even though he is invited every time. Even with out friends, he does not want to do anything. I go out, but I feel like I am married living a celibate singles life. The first talk I had with him, I was nice, trying not to hurt his feelings, I just said we need to do more things together, there are things we can do that don’t cost money, even play a game of cards or something at home. He said he understood and everything was fine, but then he did nothing to change. The second time I talked to him, I was a little more blunt, I told him that I feel that we are friends who kiss once in awhile and he agreed that he thinks we have turned into roommates. I suggested marriage counseling so that our marriage won’t get worse, and he seemed ok with it. Still, he has done nothing to change. The third time I talked to him, I didn’t hold anything back.
I told him how I feel lonely, how I feel like I have one life with him in our house and then another life with me out in the rest of the world. I told him that I feel like we lost it, he doesn’t feel that way. He feels things are fine. I told him that he feels things are ok, me here at the house cleaning and cooking dinner and that he has me to come home to. I feel that something is wrong, that I want to get back the passion we once had. He really had nothing to say to me when I was talking, he felt bad because he started to cry, but that was it. Still, no changes! My mom and my friend say that I might have to be the one to say let’s go do this or that, be the one to hook up with a counselor, basically be the one who carries this marriage. I don’t want to have to do that ALL the time. I want him to show some input, show that he cares. When we were first together, things were great. Then he went on that med and our sex life went to hell, and then after marriage, he just totally changed. I know that he loves me to death, he is never mean to me, but it feels like he is content with what we have now, we don’t even hold each other anymore. What else is there for me to do? Should I mentally have a time frame to give him before I say that’s it?
As of now, I don’t see myself leaving him, but I need to feel wanted, ya know? Any suggestions, thanks so much!
I am not ready to give up on the marriage, as the question is, what else can I do to save it and that I don’t see myself leaving him right now. I am in my late 30′s by the way and I know what marriage is.

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November 26th, 2009 by admin | No Comments | Filed in Save My Marriage

Are you thinking of divorce? Do you want to know how to save your marriage with a marriage counselor?

There are many therapists who say they do marriage counseling, but how do you know which ones are really good? This article will give you a checklist of things to look for in a family therapist.

First of all, you want to see what their credentials are. There are three basic classes of counselors.

The first is the Ph.D. or Psy.D. level counselor. These people went to graduate school for a minimum of five years and wrote a dissertation. In addition, they performed a minimum of 3000 hours of therapy under the supervision of an experienced psychologist. In order to legally call yourself a “clinical psychologist” the person must have a doctoral level degree. Ph.D.’s are often more academic in nature and tend to do scholarly and forensic work along with therapy.

Then there is the M.S.W. This means Master of Social Work. Social Workers are trained to apply social theory to specific situations. They can work in institutions or with individuals.

Finally, there is the M.S. or M.A. in Counseling. Often called a “Marriage and Family Therapist,” these people can only work with individuals or small groups in counseling situations. They tend to have 2 year degrees and may not have written a thesis. They have 1500 hours of therapy under supervision.

If you are using your insurance to cover your marriage counseling, your insurance company will probably direct you to an MSW or a Marriage and Family Therapist because they are less expensive.

Second, you have to determine what the price will be. Clinical psychologists tend to be the most expensive while Marriage and Family Therapists are the least expensive. Remember you are trying to stop divorce. Save marriage by finding the best fit not the most (or least) expensive professional.

Look at the per session cost as well as the overall cost for the expected length of treatment.

Often, therapists working in groups or non profit institutions will have a sliding scale fee based on a couple’s income. If you qualify, this might make counseling affordable when it otherwise might not be.

Third, you need to look at the policies the therapist has. Some of these policies include:

  • What happens if you miss or cancel a session?
  • Can you take a pre-planned vacation without having to pay for the session?
  • Will the therapist accept calls outside of the normal session? Do they accept calls at home or just at the office?
  • Is there an alternative person you can call in an emergency?

A family counselor should help you put your family back together so that you don’t have split up. Saving your marriage should be their ultimate goal. If you don’t feel that you are in synch with your counselor, move on and find someone who can keep you from divorce and save your marriage.

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September 30th, 2009 by admin | 7 Comments | Filed in Save My Marriage

I asked a question yesterday on how to save my marriage, most people told me talk to my husband , start counseling. Well to inform everyone I went to counseling myself yesterday as well as my husband and I signed up for marriage counseling which will start shortly. My husband enrolled in a anger management class given he believes he will need more help keeping his cool. So thank you to all who answered and if anyone has anything else that might help that would be great.

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