These 2 poems i have wrote *i am just starting to write poetry*, and i would like your opinions, since i am just starting, i am trying to get a feel for the art, and would like your opinions on what would make it better, more emotion at the start, more metaphors etc…
1)
My life without love:
My life without love is like happiness without a smile
It makes it seem phony,and id seem totally in denial.
My life without our love is like a summers day without the sunshine
We need the heat to keep us going, you are just way better then fine
My life without you is like a family without the father
Il miss you oh so dearly, and it is honestly a big bother.
My life without your beauty is like a forest without its trees
So hard to take, but when its there it is so hard not to stare.
My life without your kisses is like a pet without his care
So lonely and depressed, and you know the love isn’t there
My life without love is like happiness without a smile
It makes it seem so phony, and id seem totally in denial.
2)
What is it i love about you:
what is it i love about you so,
when your sad, i am the first to sigh
Without u realizing, i begin to cry
yet
When your happy, you bring me so high i can practicly touch the sky
When your happy, the joy never ends, nothing can change my mood
Believe me when i say this, its that Izy,
I love you, i love everything about you, From your heart warming smile
To your lovely clothing style.
Your lips just make me melt away, its as if i felt a summers day.
You are the key to my joy, the key to my sorrow, i haven’t felt less free
But to be trapped with you, I hope is my destiny
When ever i see you, my heart seems supreme, it makes me feel
like a king, So Izy, i ask you from the deep in my heart, will you be mine till the end of time 
<3
Thank you for reading, and please, dont say they are bad, they came from the heart, i would not like negative comments, but ones that will help me get better, not everyone has that gift, and i sure dont, but i would like to earn it, please, what could i do to make them better, and what do u think is the key to good poetry
Thanks
PS. Her name is Elizabeth, but her nic name i gave her is Izy,,, long story. Just so you know when i say Izy
Okay, Thank you all, The reason i asked for your comments to not be negative and stuff is threw out the years i have learned when u cut them down at there knees, they cant climb back up, but if you just say u liked them, then they cant set a higher goal. So i wanted eather telling me what u liked about it wich shows wich area i am more strong in, or giving me posotive critisism like "The top was good but in the middle the rhymes were here and there".
Thank you all, PS, im not to young 
,,, im only 13 , jk, im 24 but i always say im 13 because people say thats how i act. adults also say i act like a very mature child.
Well have a wonderful day
Tags: clothing style, deep in my heart, denial, destiny, emotion, happiness, izy, kisses, lips, love life, love poems, lt, metaphors, negative comments, poems, poetry, sky, smile, sorrow, summers day, sunshine, trees
