I’ve been talking to this guy about 2 months. We don’t get to see each other often, but when we get to spend time alone we make out. He gets in touch with me at least 4x a week, sometimes every day. He’s been trying to set up this work opportunity so we can spend more time together…
However, two days ago (sunday) we met up (spur of the moment). We can’t be seen together in public (we are both married, but in our culture, sadly there is no divorce, it’s not even an option because it’s not legal. But we both know eachothers partner and we know we’re both lost and stuck in loveless forced relationships. I hadn’t even been kissed in almost 3 years until I fell for this guy!? Aside from that, we also work in the same industry, sometimes we work together, but never one-on-one, so we can’t be seen together alone outside work)
So if at this point you can still be non-judgemental please read on. We drove around in his car. He kissed me everytime we’re waiting for a green light. We just didn’t know where to go, but he wanted to spend more time with me, so he suggested we check in somewhere so we can "bond". I said no!
So, eventually we found a little hole in the wall type of place where it was dark and there was nobody. We talked for several hours. it was a really great night. He was a real gentleman (opened my door, guided me in with his hand around the waste, he ordered for me, paid the bill). Then he brought me home. But then he didn’t get in touch with me the next day? I just text him late in the evening to say I forgot to thank him for taking me out on the date. He replied, anything for you.. But that night I couldn’t sleep. I felt it was going into a direction I wasn’t comfortable with. I was still offended and embarrased that he might think of me that way. I’m not interested being a FWB.
But the day after that (earlier today) he did text me. He asked how I am and let me know what he was up to the rest of the day. I told him somethings bugging me and I had to be honest with him. He said I can call him when I can. So I called after 30mins and told him that I was a little offended when he asked me if I wanted to check in.
He said he was really sorry I took it that way, that he wasn’t trying to force me to sleep with him. But because on a sunday everything is closed and we can’t go anywhere public (or our homes) and he wanted to talk to me and spend quality time with me outside the car it would be more comfortable being somewhere safe and secluded… Then he got so ashamed of making me feel that way, so he got off the phone. He sent a text 2 mins later that he was really sorry again and he’s so embarrased.
I text him back after 20mins that I just wanted to clarify that I was uncomfortable with that and I don’t want things to get weird because of it, that I have said things too that may have lead him on, and I should apologize for the miscommunication. I ended the text by saying that I enjoy our bonding time, I love spending time with him and I don’t want to ruin something good by rushing into something crazy without thinking… He didn’t respond anymore..
I know guys may feel defeated when reprimanded for something they did wrong, despite making up for it already with a great date (I KNOW! I should have cut him some slack and just appreciated the rest of the night that he made up for it all, I screwed up there) But now what? Does he just need "space"? What should I expect next?
Did I ruin everything by being unappreciative??? I hate the waiting game and it’s driving me nuts. I know my text said enough (right?) and I shouldn’t force the issue, but what should I do because I really really like him!?..
Tags: 3 years, Direction, divorce, fwb, gentleman, hole in the wall, little hole in the wall, Lost, loveless, Met, Partner, relationships, rest of the day, sleep, work opportunity
