I have been dating this guy for 6 years now. We have a 2 year old daughter together. I decided that I wanted to leave the relationship when I was about 7 months pregnant because I was really unhappy. At that time he was finishing grad school 2 hours away from the home that we shared, so even though we "weren’t together" I continued to live in the home that we had together. When he finished school. I was in my Junior year of Undergrad and decided that it was not financially possible to leave while finishing school with my little girl. So in order to stay on track with school we now lived in the same house but in separate rooms. We called ourselves dating other people and like most girls while he was actually out dating other women I simply lied about seeing other men for about a year so I didn’t seem like I could’ t move on. I was so hurt that the mother of his child could be less than 20 feet away from him and he could actually carry on a romantic conversation in the next room. He had been completely unthoughtful of my feeling and what he had at home. So one day I started to see this really great guy. He treated me like a princess and understood my position on things in my life. He never pushed me to do anything that I wasn’t ready to do including meet my daughter! This guy took a job 5 hours away because I wasn’t ready to fully commit to him though. After my little girls dad realized that I had really moved on and might really like someone, he decided that I was the one that he wanted in his life. I can most definitely see his efforts in trying to turn things around. He still doesn’t cater to the romance that I need from him, but he does make an extra effort to give me all the simple things that I used to ask of him. We have been trying to make it work for about 3 months now and I am really having a hard time trusting him. I am constantly having to tell myself that it is okay to let my guard down but the simple thought of going through what I have been through with him again makes me want to cry. A simple hug from him almost makes me cringe. I am so emotionally disconnected from him. However a small part of me says if he is sincerely trying I should give him the benefit of the doubt. Could I ever fall in love with him again?

Tags: 6 years, 7 months, dad, Fall In Love, Finished School, finishing school, girls, grad school, hard time, job, little girl, little girls, Live 105, princess, relationship, romance, separate rooms, simple thought, undergrad

A few weeks ago my wife told me she loves me but is no longer in love. The issues she says caused this are today gone and she knows that. (The issues were that for years I had a very opinionated and controlling personality and that I never got as close to her son as I should have. I realize that those controlling feelings of there is a “right way” or a “safe way” to act were wrong and I will never be like that again. And, I have made amends with her son and will love him forever like my own.) Other than those personality issues, I was a great husband to her. (Never abusive, always loving, always complimentary, very supportive, etc.) We are going to counseling now.

I’d love for you to share – what are things that you did or your spouse did or you & your spouse did that helped rekindle the romance, bring those feelings back, and help you “fall in love” again? How long might this take? It has only been two days since she decided to try to reconcile. Yesterday we spent the whole day together doing stuff (errands, lunch, movie, had a late beer, etc.) – but no emotion from her – no kisses, no hand holding, etc. I know it is very soon but that was REALLY hard for me. I’m trying …

Can you help me (us)?

Tags: amp, controlling personality, counseling, emotion, Fall In Love, feelings, lunch, personality issues, romance, safe way

Many people begin searching for relationship rescue tactics to try and bring back the spark they once had with a partner when the magic begins to fade. Over time, most relationships grow and change from the loving, romantic bond into a steady routine of daily rituals and habits. In some cases, those habits can make one or both people in the relationship feel as though they’re being taken for granted.

Some people may find that they’re arguing more often than they’re enjoying each other. Others may find that there’s nothing left to say to each other or they simply fall into a daily pattern where everything else seems more important than the relationship.

Your relationship doesn’t have to be this way.

Often the first avenue many people try in order to re-kindle a relationship is to try and bring back some of the romance. Intimate dinners and provocative lingerie are nice physical attempts at bringing you closer again, but they don’t address on the inner, emotional reasons why the relationship may be strained. On the other hand, endlessly talking about your relationship rescue plans and tactics could potentially drive a wedge between you and strain the relationship even further.

There are plenty of relationship rescue tactics you can use to bring that loving spark back into your relationships. Here are some relationship rescue suggestions you can try to help get you back on the right track.

1.    Appreciation

When the initial heady, romantic stage of any relationship begins to settle into a comfortable partnership, many people lose sight of the things they originally appreciated in their partner. They begin to focus on the things that irritate them or annoy them or make them mad.

Unfortunately, focusing on all the negative aspects of your partner can often bring about a feeling of resentment, which can lead to arguments and eventually the destruction of the relationship.

It’s important to try and find things in your partner that you appreciate. You might appreciate their kindness or their sense of humor or their intelligence or whatever attribute attracted you to them in the first place.

2.    Awareness

Live each day of your relationship as though it was the last day you have with your partner. Accidents happen when we least expect them. While this doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to you, consider how you’d feel if something did happen and today really was the final day you had together.

What would you regret most? What would you wish you’d said or done or changed if you never had the opportunity to do them again?

Your answers to those questions should be the very same things you need to be doing with your partner each and every day. When you live each day as though it was your last, the romance will return almost immediately.

3.    Communication

Your partner can’t read your mind. Sitting in silence letting a problem brew until you’re at bursting point won’t make your partner see problems any more clearly and it can compound the negative emotions within you.

It’s important to communicate with your partner about your expectations, your needs, your goals and ambitions, your disappointment and anger. Communication is about letting the other person know what you’re feeling in a clear, non-blaming manner so that you can both be sure you’re on the same page.

Relationship rescue is all about finding ways to be sure you understand and appreciate the little things you do for each other instead of focusing on the negatives. If you can communicate clearly and find ways to appreciate and support your partner, then your relationship rescue attempts will be rewarded.

Tags: Intimate Dinners, magic, Many People, Relationship Help, Relationship Rescue, relationships, Rituals, romance, Spark Amp

So i have been married almost 9 years, and i have fallen completely out of love with my husband. I was actually talking to someone else who made me feel great, wonderful and beautiful. But it was just talking and I decided since i was married it would be better to just be friends. Me and this other guy have never done anything, bad or inappropriate, but i want to work things out with my husband. My husband knows that their are many things that are wrong. So how do i fall in love with him again? How do i rekindle the passion, it is almost 9 years later 2 kids, and a miserable wife.

P.S. My husband is not romantic at all, he is very cold and the sex has gotten pretty bad and non-existing the last 2 years.
I am romantic, loving, etc. I do all of it. I plan our romance i am tired of it all being sooo one sided. I want him to be the impulsive one, i want him to want to make love to me, i am just tired of initiating evreything in the relationship from buying all the food, his clothes to jumping his bones.

Tags: bones, clothes, Fall In Love, love, many things, passion, relationship, romance

Lately I feel like the connection that we once had is just gone. And he makes no effort to bring it back. Even though I do. I never was interested in the stuff he liked, but I talk about it with him and do the stuff he likes. Because he likes it. Because I love him. But he never reciprocates.

How can I get him to do something with me? Something that I like to do and something that makes me feel connected to him on a deeper level? I really love dancing, and I have only danced with a man once or twice in my life. I really want to dance with my husband. I guess I just want the romance back, and to feel ‘in love’ again.
… he doesn’t like tv.

Yes I’ve told him that I want more romance.

Tags: Guess, love, romance