My husband is going through a really rough time and I am at a lost on how to be supportive. Long story short, he is struggling with the problems of the real world as once upon a time (before me) he lived life in the fast lane and money was easy to obtain. His transition into reality is not going well as he does not fully understand why he cannot get what he wants when he wants it. I’m not sure if it’s so much that he does not understand as oppose to not having the patience. As a result our marriage is suffering. There have been numerous counts of infidelity on his part which obviously puts a strain on the marriage in addition to the other stresses of life. According to him, he is not happy with not being the provider in the home and just not happy with himself as a person so he looks for instant gratification elsewhere. He has recently made an appointment to see a counselor which totally goes against what he believes so maybe he truly is trying to get past this tough time. As for me, money was never and still is not an issue as I was raised to take care of myself and my responsibilities. I am married because I want to be and fell in love, not because I need another income to support me. I do not hound him about not making as much money or not being able to contribute more because I knew what I was getting into when I married him. I knew there would be obstacles and I was fine with that as he is very ambitious and has lots of potential. I don’t know what else to do. When we go out I try to give him my card to swipe or hand the money to him so that it is as if he paid but he does not want to. It insults him if I offer to help him. I am supportive of his business that he is trying to get off of the ground by helping out where he needs it in addition to my full time job and the 4 kids at home. He’s never home so I do it all. Any advice would be appreciated. And no I am not one of those women that think they can fix a man. I did not look at him as needing to be fixed.
It is my problem as well as his, that is why I am asking what more can I do to support him or how can I support him differently. If I looked at it like it were his problem and not mine, we would not have gotten married in the first place.

Tags: appointment, Counselor, Fast Lane, full time job, infidelity, instant gratification, insults, life in the fast lane, love, marriage, money, much money, obstacles, one of those women, patience, real world, rough time, stresses, Suffering, swipe, transition

We,ve being through a rough time,and we are still togeather.Things are so differant now.sometimes I find it hard to believe,and I can hardly remember the bad times

Tags: Fall In Love, marriage, rough time

My BF of 1-yr appears to be going thru a rough time right now. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago during an argument over the phone. It was one of those arguments where he just seems to not have any urgency when it comes to our making plans.

Anyway, about a week after breaking up, he told me that the following had happened: 1st, while at work, he received a threatening call from a guy telling him to leave his woman alone; my BF said he thought it was a joke by one of his boys, but that turned out not to be the case. 2nd, supposedly the man who threatened him has been calling his work place so much that his desk phone has been constantly ringing & disturbing his co-workers. He got into hot water with his boss and Security about the phone calls. And lastly, his home was broken into. I cannot believe all this occurred in a week’s time. It seems crazy!!

I went over to see how he was doing today, and it was apparent that he is not sleeping or eating, and just looks like things are taking a toll on him. But, he wanted to discuss our situation. I told him that I am here for him and didn’t want to leave him all alone to deal with all of this. His response to me was that for right now, we needed to end the relationship because it’s all too stressful at the moment. I told him I’d do whatever he needs, but wished we could just take space from one another rather than call it quits. I am very upset and I cannot understand it. We were literally standing there hugging, kissing and saying good-bye all the while saying we love each other. Can anyone tell me why he’d want to just let our relationship go and risk losing it forever, rather than just taking space?

Tags: amp, bf, boss, co workers, desk phone, good bye, hot water, joke, phone calls, relationship, Risk, rough time, urgency