Well, this all started before christmas. My ex GF, cait, broke up with me, and i was a wreck. I was so unbelievably in love with her, and i got the "lets be friends" talk.
Well, 3 weeks later, I started going out with this other girl, jessica, thinking she would make me forget about my ex. i was wrong, and we ended up having a mutual breakup. So my best friend, mike, liked jessica a LOT, and was very pissed off when he found out we were dating. problem is, he had told me he liked other girls too, and that jessica was the only one. So i assumed i was essentially in the clear. When i found out i wasnt, i felt terrible, apologized profusely, and ultimately ended up breaking it off for his sake, and also because i was stil thinking about cait.
the day after jessica and I started going out, i was talking to mike about it, and he asked me "how would you feel if i went out with cait before or after you guys dated?" i answered honestly, "terrible". Well sure enough, a day later i get a text from mike with the words "we’re straight". I knew INSTANTLY that he had done something terrible, or was planning to. ive known mike since we were in diapers, and i knew hed be out for revenge. it was always like that, ever sice we were kids. if you hit him jokingly, he had to hit you back ten times harder.
so i get back from xmas vacation, and mike and cait are all over eachother. this absolutely DESTROYED me inside. I put up with them cuddling and stuff for a couple of weeks, but then finally exploded. He is now my ex best friend, and I hate him more than any other human bieng on the planet. He only got after cait to get revenge on me, and since hes not exactly a hit with the ladies (he is an ugly mofo…), once he realized he’d pulled it off, that he’d made cait like him, he ran with it, because he knew thats all he could get. He ran with it even tho he KNEW it was killing me inside. this is why i hate him.
Meanwhile, over the last month, i thought about WHY cait gave me the "better as freinds" talk; I ACTED like a friend. i was shy around her, and acted exactly like i had before when we WERE friends. its been a rough couple of months, and a lot of things have happened. the one thig stayed the same though; I love her still. Ive actually thought about her non stop for almost 2 years, but only recently did we start dating. I feel she is the one. And to anyone who’s ever found that special someone… when you know, you know.
So i want her back… im not sure how im going to do it, but giving up is no longer an option. ive tried, and everytime it just comes right back to her. I know it wont happen soon… but im optimistic about the situation. I think i can turn this around.
I know this wont be easy, maybe not even entirely fesable, but ill wait for however long it takes. I just need to find a way to attract her to me again… all i want is a chance to rectufy my mistakes, a chance to show her i can be everything she ever wanted. I want to be the one she wakes up to, i want to be the one she can lean on when shes having a hard time. i want to be the one who comforts her when shes sad, and the one to ask whos ass im going to have to kick when shes angry. she is everything to me and more; i just want her to know i mean every syllable of the words "i love you", and for her to feel that way too…
you have no idea how good that felt to type.
Tags: best friend, bieng, christmas, Cuddling, diapers, ex gf, friend mike, girls, love, mofo, quot, revenge, sake, sice, tho
