I have been married for 3 years and together with my Husband for 7 years. I am 26 years old. Everything was going great until a month ago. I felt as though my whole world collapsed. I couldnt decide if i loved my husband anymore. this broke my heart. i kept looking at him and trying to decide. I am off sick from work with depression because of it and i just want things back to normal i keep telling myself.
I decided if i didnt want to be with my husband anymore i was going to end my own life. i am so scared of failing my marriage because i made my vows and told myself i would never stray from my hubby.
i had a turbulant childhood, always moving around and i went to 11 different schools. my dad was never known to me so it was always just my mum and siblings who had different fathers. I explain this as i am trying to put my problems down to my childhood. Perhaps i am just ready to move on as i have never been stable? i knew i loved my husband but i dont know now.
we bought a wonderful house and i learnt to drive and got a new car of my own and got a dog and a good job and eveything i have ever wanted but now i dont want any of it. I hate the way i am feeling. I know i have to stay and try and sort things out with my hubby but i cant even go home, i am staying with my in-laws as it upsets me to go home.
as i have said i wanted to die because of these feelings taking over me but i dont know what to do. He hasnt done anything wrong and is the sweetest guy in the world, i just dont feel that buzz any more and how do you know if you truley love someone?
My mum was married 5 times before she died when i was 16 and she had 7 children. I dont want to be like this and have worked really hard to avoid it but I am now at breaking point.
Please help, I need encouragement to stay and battle through. I dont want to run away again.
Tags: 3 years, breaking point, buzz, dad, depression, encouragement, feelings, good job, heart, hubby, love, marriage, new car, siblings, sweetest guy, vows, Whole World
