I’ve been talking to this guy about 2 months. We don’t get to see each other often, but when we get to spend time alone we make out. He gets in touch with me at least 4x a week, sometimes every day. He’s been trying to set up this work opportunity so we can spend more time together…

However, two days ago (sunday) we met up (spur of the moment). We can’t be seen together in public (we are both married, but in our culture, sadly there is no divorce, it’s not even an option because it’s not legal. But we both know eachothers partner and we know we’re both lost and stuck in loveless forced relationships. I hadn’t even been kissed in almost 3 years until I fell for this guy!? Aside from that, we also work in the same industry, sometimes we work together, but never one-on-one, so we can’t be seen together alone outside work)

So if at this point you can still be non-judgemental please read on. We drove around in his car. He kissed me everytime we’re waiting for a green light. We just didn’t know where to go, but he wanted to spend more time with me, so he suggested we check in somewhere so we can "bond". I said no!

So, eventually we found a little hole in the wall type of place where it was dark and there was nobody. We talked for several hours. it was a really great night. He was a real gentleman (opened my door, guided me in with his hand around the waste, he ordered for me, paid the bill). Then he brought me home. But then he didn’t get in touch with me the next day? I just text him late in the evening to say I forgot to thank him for taking me out on the date. He replied, anything for you.. But that night I couldn’t sleep. I felt it was going into a direction I wasn’t comfortable with. I was still offended and embarrased that he might think of me that way. I’m not interested being a FWB.

But the day after that (earlier today) he did text me. He asked how I am and let me know what he was up to the rest of the day. I told him somethings bugging me and I had to be honest with him. He said I can call him when I can. So I called after 30mins and told him that I was a little offended when he asked me if I wanted to check in.

He said he was really sorry I took it that way, that he wasn’t trying to force me to sleep with him. But because on a sunday everything is closed and we can’t go anywhere public (or our homes) and he wanted to talk to me and spend quality time with me outside the car it would be more comfortable being somewhere safe and secluded… Then he got so ashamed of making me feel that way, so he got off the phone. He sent a text 2 mins later that he was really sorry again and he’s so embarrased.

I text him back after 20mins that I just wanted to clarify that I was uncomfortable with that and I don’t want things to get weird because of it, that I have said things too that may have lead him on, and I should apologize for the miscommunication. I ended the text by saying that I enjoy our bonding time, I love spending time with him and I don’t want to ruin something good by rushing into something crazy without thinking… He didn’t respond anymore..

I know guys may feel defeated when reprimanded for something they did wrong, despite making up for it already with a great date (I KNOW! I should have cut him some slack and just appreciated the rest of the night that he made up for it all, I screwed up there) But now what? Does he just need "space"? What should I expect next?

Did I ruin everything by being unappreciative??? I hate the waiting game and it’s driving me nuts. I know my text said enough (right?) and I shouldn’t force the issue, but what should I do because I really really like him!?..

Tags: 3 years, Direction, divorce, fwb, gentleman, hole in the wall, little hole in the wall, Lost, loveless, Met, Partner, relationships, rest of the day, sleep, work opportunity

I know this is a dating question, but I’m asking in this category because the answer are more mature.

Saturday I buried my cousin who died on my front door step New Years Morning and I hadn’t talked to her much since the day he died (she was at my house when he died).

Yesterday, I text her to tell her I missed her and she kept quoting a line that I posted in a comment on Facebook this week. It started, "I’m single by choice…" Whatever it was, I was in a long dialogue with friends & various relatives. My girlfriend isn’t on my Facebook friends list, but I have it where friends of friends can read my posts. She said that her mom was reading my posts and brought it to her attention.

She kept asking me "are you single by choice." I explained that the conversation wasn’t that serious and I was referring to not being married right now. I also explained that who I’m dating is none of my family’s business on Facebook. My immediate family knows who I’m dating…and if they didn’t before they know now because my cousin died on my front porch the morning she was at my house.

Even after the explanation she wouldn’t let it go. Then she text me later that night and said she wanted to end it, because the relationship isn’t working for her. My response was, "Ok"…then I went to sleep.

She text me later last night and early this morning telling me that she missed me and didn’t want to break up & that she was expecting me to fight for her. My response was, "You didn’t ask my opinion, you told me that you wanted to end the relationship. My response was ‘ok’. If a woman says she doesn’t want to be with me, I usually believe her."

Now she wants to get back together. I’m not sure it’s worth it. I’m 36, and she’s 29, if that has anything to do with it.

Tags: amp, cousin, Dating, dialogue, facebook friends, Family Business, Friends List, front porch, girlfriend, immediate family, Mature, mom, relationship, relatives, single by choice, sleep, Woman

My wife and I only dated for a totall of 5-6 months ( I know thats really short but we were with each other like ever spare second of every day during that time) not including the month long break up in which she came back. She used to tell me she loved me all the time and I felt like she really did ( I still love her) She got pregnant on our honeymoon and soon went off of her paxil for anxiety ( i was on it too..) She says she doesn’t think she ever loved me and she started getting really irritated by me for really small things like breathing hard in my sleep, stinky breath, the way I pronounce certain words. I went to counseling with her and to a psychiatrist for a few months and it seemed to help alot but not enough. She asked me to move out and she hasn’t filled out divorce papers but right now I’m just trying to be as supportive as possible and taking care of her by paying bills and getting her groceries and gas etc. even thuogh I live at my parents house 70% of the time. Her family is so upset with her including her kids from a previous 14 yr. mariage, in fact last weekend her son asked her to invite me over because he misses me.. I just am having such a hard time, this is my first time to be a father and he’s due in like 2-3 weeks.. Did she ever love me? If so, can she love me again? Is it likely she will have feelings for me after? Sorry if you’ve read my other posts I’m just really concerned and interested in your opinions…

Tags: anxiety, counseling, divorce papers, feelings, groceries, having such a hard time, honeymoon, love, mariage, parents, paxil, Pregnant Wife, psychiatrist, sleep, stinky breath, totall

I am 25 years old and I have been in love with the same boy for over 8 years now. I fell in love at 16 and have never fallen out. He was my first love, first everything, and we were in a relationship for 3 years, then on and off, and everything in between for a couple more years. I still talk to him every once in a while, and since he’s gotten a new girlfriend, I haven’t seen him in months. I cut off all contact with him a few months ago, because it hurt too bad to just be friends, but then I couldn’t stop thinking about him, and decided that I’d rather have him in my life as a friend then not in my life at all.
I thought I had moved on… I was in a serious long relationship from 2007-2009, and even had a child with that person, but we are no longer together. I have dated a few guys in between, but nothing has never compared to my first. I am still, and have always been deeply, deeply in love with my first.
I am having a terrible time coping and dealing with the fact that he is in love with his current girlfriend, who he has talked about marrying. I try to act happy for him, because we are good friends and will always support each other and be happy for one another. I don’t think he still has the same feelings for me as I do for him, so that makes it hard for me to express how I feel about him, and also because he is in a relationship and I feel it would be inappropriate for me to have the "I am still in love with you" talk with him now.
Truth is, I cry myself to sleep every single night over him, and don’t remember the last day I didn’t shed tears over my heartbreak and how much I miss him and long for the past when we were together. I have tried to move on, accept the fact that that was then and this is now, but I can’t. I feel like he has a huge chunk of my heart and I am so incomplete. All I want is him. We have not been together in over 4 years now, just good friends, and I feel like 4 years should be plenty of time for these feelings to die down, but it really feels as though my pain gets worse every day. I don’t know what to do anymore. They say time heals all wounds, but this pain is not going away. Will it ever?

Tags: 3 years, 8 years, Act, broken heart, chunk, Contact, couple more years, Express, feelings, first love, good friends, heart, heartbreak, new girlfriend, quot, relationship, Shed, sleep, truth

I have a 4 month old baby and ever since I got pregnant with him my marriage has just gotten worse. My husband insists I stay at home with the baby but also insists on living beyond our means by building a stupid garage that we can’t afford. We can’t hardly buy food or diapers and pay our bills but he insists on buying building supplies on MY credit card (which was only for emergencies). I have told him we can’t afford it, but he just thinks I’m being negative and unreasonable. That is one example. Tonight I was putting our son to bed and he was almost asleep and my husband comes barging in the room to tell me something in a loud voice and woke up the baby. When I Ssh’d him, he made me feel like crap and I ended up apologizing. Those are just two examples, there are a lot worse. We are constantly at each others throat. I don’t want to leave him, but sometimes I feel it’s my only choice.

Please help me. I am so hurt, and angry and sad. I’m typing this because it’s after midnight and my husband said mean things to me (while trying to put the baby to sleep for the 2nd time tonight) and went to bed. I don’t want to sleep next to such a jerk right now.

Tags: Baby Born, Baby Love, Baby Sleep, Baby To Sleep, crap, credit card, diapers, emergencies, loud voice, marriage, month old baby, Pregnant, Sad, sleep, Ssh, Typing