diamondcity34 Posted on Jun 12, 2010 9:41 AM

I am writing today because I am the victium of a DL brotha(Down Low), I am at the point now where i am lost and I feeling i’m crazy..well at least me is making me feel that way..We have been married for 3 and half years now..and we have 2 kids together..my husband is in the national guard and currently is serving his second term in Iraq. I served in the military as well but got out to jet married and have a family. I should have known something was up when everytime i would cheat on him when we were dating..he always took me back and said that he loved me soo much and couldnt see me not being in his life..we were high school sweethearts, forgot to mention..anyways when i was stationed in germany which was his first tour in Iraq we were suppose to get married since then..but for some reason i didnt feel right about the situation and i turned him down..i could never put my finger on it as of what it was..anyways that was my last tour and i got out of the military..came back home and he would always push the issue of us getting married..so then we just got married with the justice of peace..honestly i was pressured to marry him by family members and all…so i did it…his mother never even came!!!, said that she had to work!!..wow, A MOTHER KNOWS HER CHILD..but it still never dawned on me..anyways a couple months later i was preganant with his first my second child!, while i was preganant he neva showed no affection..and so i fussed and fussed on the issue and moved out and went my own way..got me an apartment and all…

Anyways ima skip some things cause i will be typing forever..My husband is currently on a tour in Iraq at the moment and I heard him having sex with another guy on the phone..my heart dropped, I was trembling, shaking and all..shocked out this world..I kept on listening and he was telling this guy that he loved him..and the guy was screaming his first name!!!..So of course I started screaming and going off on him..and he never said a word..I hung up on him and he never called back til 2 days later!…during that time, i was lost..my world had just came down right there in my face..He finally called back and said look i know that you heard things but jus ignore it!!!..now u know if i coulda stick my hand throu that phone..lets jus say it wouldnt be nice!..Anways through all this yes he has desires of being with me..he told me he felt that way since high school..its like i have soo many questions and he’ll tell me little things like yeah i have been sleeping with men..then turn around and say he lied!!, He constantly does things like that to me…and its breaking my heart..he dont even tell me he loves me anymore..we only had sex twice before he left..he shows me no affection and says when he gets back that he will work on that..??my take on that is how do you have to work on something that is natural when u love someone!!…His ring he doesnt even wear his ring…I asked him if he had it and he said yes and when i asked him to see it, he refused to show it to me!!!…and then the next day he apologized and showed me a ring that is not even the same ring that i purchased for him!!!..crushed me again…he is always going to the gym at 10:30pm!!im like wth!!..he sleeps with his back faced me!!..He doesnt even ask about the kids!, He lies, and keeps secrets..

*And he laughs like its amusing to him!, and brushes me off…The killing part of it all is that he is sleeping with his roomate!!…so he is living the life out there..wrk once a week…and watch dvd’s all day..he never sleeps and i dont understand that..I ask him to show me his d**k and refuses..and when he does it on the hard!!! and all shiny!!! wth!!…i ask him why is that like that..and he makes up lies and i see it in his face that he is lieing!!! It’s like when we talk its like he twists it on me!, like i can ask him well do you want a divorce and he tells me well thats what you want so do it..i dont want it but if thats what you want then thats on you!!, like he does things like that!! and laughs like its funni!!..*

HELP ME WHAT AM I TO DO!!??

Tags: affection, apartment, dl, family members, germany, half years, having sex, heart, high school sweethearts, iraq, justice of peace, Lost, national guard, neva, Reason, second term, Typing, Wow

I have a 4 month old baby and ever since I got pregnant with him my marriage has just gotten worse. My husband insists I stay at home with the baby but also insists on living beyond our means by building a stupid garage that we can’t afford. We can’t hardly buy food or diapers and pay our bills but he insists on buying building supplies on MY credit card (which was only for emergencies). I have told him we can’t afford it, but he just thinks I’m being negative and unreasonable. That is one example. Tonight I was putting our son to bed and he was almost asleep and my husband comes barging in the room to tell me something in a loud voice and woke up the baby. When I Ssh’d him, he made me feel like crap and I ended up apologizing. Those are just two examples, there are a lot worse. We are constantly at each others throat. I don’t want to leave him, but sometimes I feel it’s my only choice.

Please help me. I am so hurt, and angry and sad. I’m typing this because it’s after midnight and my husband said mean things to me (while trying to put the baby to sleep for the 2nd time tonight) and went to bed. I don’t want to sleep next to such a jerk right now.

Tags: Baby Born, Baby Love, Baby Sleep, Baby To Sleep, crap, credit card, diapers, emergencies, loud voice, marriage, month old baby, Pregnant, Sad, sleep, Ssh, Typing

when she won’t answer my calls, emails, or texts? I’ve even tried calling her parents at their work, but they keep ignoring my phone calls. I’m sitting outside of her house right now in my car and I’m typing this on my blackberry. What should I say to her when she gets home from work this evening? I plan on ambushing her as soon sa she gets out of her car.

Tags: blackberry, girlfriend, Old Son, parents, phone calls, texts, Typing